Missed Connections
If you want to have a good laugh, check out Craigslist under Missed Connections. Sample ad:
“saw you at the laundromat early Saturday morning, and coincidentally we were parked next to each other and left at the same time.”
I wonder what was going through her mind. Oh boy, we use the same detergent. I like the way he folds his underwear. We have a lot in common because we each did two loads. He does his whites and colors separately like I always do. I didn’t see any female panties in his wash. His car only had one dent in it. He had on a clean t-shirt. He wasn’t reading comic books. He wasn’t with anyone else. He must have been attracted to me or he wouldn’t have left the Laundromat at the same time. He’s taller than me and has no pimples.
He didn’t rape me in the early morning hours. He didn’t steal my money. He’s not a stalker or he would have followed me home. (but, I wish he did!).
He had hair on his head and looked fairly clean. He wasn’t picking his teeth.
He had a bag full of quarters which shows he is thrifty. He looked at me once so must have found me enticing. He treated me like a lady by not making a pass at me. He probably didn’t ask for my phone number because he most likely gave his only pen to a homeless person. His car started the first time and when he opened the door, no beer cans fell out. There is so much you can tell about a guy when you see him at the Laundromat.
Oh yes, I imagine there are so many good reasons that she wants to connect with this man folding his “tighty whiteys” only twenty feet from her. What a great place to meet the man of her dreams! Isn’t this a wonderful service Craigslist provides for the lonely hearts girl pining for the Laundromat guy? If only she hadn’t missed the connection.
What a Careless Slip
Walking to the hotel lift, Isabel was quietly listing in her mind down whether she left everything in order before leaving for a shop down the Ferringhi Street.
" Switches off, door closed and locked properly, balcony door...," she paused mid step.
" Wait... Did I close the balcony door?" She said aloud and laughed at her newly developed habit of talking to herself as if she were an octogenarian. And still giggling, she realised that she didn’t remember!
“Oh well,” she sighed and turned on her heels back to the room.
Bang! Shutting the balcony door with a satisfying slam, she then walked out of her room again.
Strolling along Ferringhi Street was somehow incredibly enjoyable: she didn’t mind a slowly crawling crowd, smells and noises of the most popular market street in Penang. In fact, she even stopped at a few stalls to look at trinkets and colourful bric a brac that attracted so many tourists to Batu Ferringhi. After a few hours of walking, she managed to buy a few souvenirs: key chains, pictured cards and T-shirts. Tired, she went back to the hotel.
"-Bing!-" The door of the lift opened and she walked to her room.
" Oh my God!" she stood agape by the opened door to her room. It was a total mayhem; clothes from her luggage were flung all over the floor, pillows torn and tossed to one corner, papers and food wrappers strewn on the bed.
" Seriously, who's the idiot who even dares to take a few bits of a fruit ?" She was even more infuriated when she saw the half eaten pear lying beside the fruit basket on the coffee table. Outraged by the obnoxiousness of whoever who had just broke into her room, she scanned through the mess once more.
Then she heard some movement behind the bed and saw four tiny fingers appearing on the white bed sheets followed by a pair of huge eyes staring back at her. Only now she noticed the large sign near the balcony door: WARNING! DO NOT LEAVE BALCONY DOORS OPEN: MONKEYS IN THIS AREA.
" Oh, boy! How many times do I have to remind myself to look at warning signs?!" she exclaimed. With an umbrella, she took about fifteen minutes just to shoo away the baby monkey who on the way out, was still trying to grab a banana from the coffee table.