I sprinted across the street and through the smashed windows of my local supermarket. Tiptoeing around the debris on the floor, I had to be quick: ONLY THE ESSENTIALS! Pulling off my backpack, I started stuffing it with life’s necessities.

 A door slamming from the back of the supermarket startled me. I put my backpack on and grabbed my baseball bat. I waited in silence as I heard the slow footsteps of someone approaching. I held my bat up to strike.

 “You again?” said the tall young girl, walking into view.

 “Frickin’ hell, I nearly bashed your brains in!” I replied, letting out a long sigh.

 “Got what you need?” she asked, walking off.

 “Yes, thanks.”

 “Good, then cover me whilst I look for the essentials.”

 “Okay... but the water bottles are two aisles over.”

She ignored me and got down on her knees to start rummaging through the items on the bottom shelf. I looked at the things she was stuffing into her backpack.

 “Shampoo!?” I said, incredulously.

 She gave me a stare that would turn Medusa into stone. “YES! It’s so hard to find Pantene Pro V nowadays.”

 I shook my head. “Unbelievable!”

 A serious of thumps against the fire-exit door made me jump and I slipped. My backpack fell off my shoulder and scattered its contents all over the girl.

 She picked up one of the many little packets that fell out of my bag and read the description. “Star Wars Character rubber stamps?”

 I snatched the packet out of her hand and began stuffing them all back into my backpack.  “Yeah! They’re essential for me so I don’t go crazy in this world right now… and I only need Boba Fett to complete my collection.”

“See you same time tomorrow then?"

And she was gone again.

She counted her men on fingers and toes

collecting scattered flashbacks in mind’s eye

cataloged according to prowess, sleight of hand

the men in her life no longer fit on two hands

she’d started counting on her toes-perfect recall

reminding her of the one who sucked her toes

worked his way up licking with velvet tongue

he reminded her of her dog who did the same thing

she recalled the man who had a breast fetish

his mouth stayed in one place – must have missed his mom

another stud massaged her all over, touched secret places

exploded her soul in all the right ways, not missing a beat

others did nothing but plunge right in, couldn’t wait

she didn’t include those ‘quick starts’ on fingers and toes

you’ll note that this fantasy is hash tagged as fiction

you’re somewhat mistaken if you think she is me!

A: What do you think you’re doing?

B: Christ, you again. How do you do that? You always waltz in, uninvited.

A: This is my patch too, you know.

B: That doesn’t mean you can poke your nose where it isn’t wanted.

A: Put the money down.

B: No I won’t, it’s mine.

A: Finders keepers won’t wash with me. You’re not five.

B: Someone else could use it on drugs. I’d put it to a good cause.

A: Like what? Your annual smoker’s subscription?

B: I knew that’s what you were going to say. You should think of some new comebacks.

You’re getting too predictable.

A: Look around you. It could make someone else happier. See that sad-looking kid on the swing.

B: …. You serious? A strange man offering a child money?

A: Actually yeah, you’re right. But you should know, standing around with a plastic bag you found under a park bench looks odd, too.

C approaching B with a hushed voice: Well, well. You must be the new recruit. I doubted you were going to show up. I hung around for a couple of minutes just to be sure.

A in B’s ear: Don’t run, you’ll look suspicious.

C counts the money in the bag: You’re ten pounds short.

B to A: Damn you, conscience. Had to stop me in my tracks, didn’t you? Not so high-and-mighty now, are we?

A: *sheepish silence*

                                               THREE DAYS LATER

A sees B’s black eye in the mirror and suffers from a bad… existential crisis.

It was one of those lovely mornings where my alarm clock went off an hour late, and I didn't notice until after I had made breakfast. I ran out the door zipping up my jacket with a piece of bacon in my mouth. That's probably why I didn't notice my new neighbor until I collided with him.

Me: "Sorry, sorry, are you OK?"

Dave: "Yes, I'm fine. You dropped your papers."

Me: "Oh my gosh thank you late BYE!"

Somehow I managed to get to work on time, but by the time I got back to my apartment building I my feet were dragging and I was ready to pop a frozen dinner in the microwave. I walked to the front door and it opened in my face.

Dave: "Oh my gosh are you OK? I am so sorry I didn't see you there."

Me, from the ground: "I'm fine but I think I'm going to lie here for a second."

Dave: "...Are you sure you're OK?"

I got up, dusted myself off, and assured him I was, in fact, fine. Even though we were even at that point, he insisted on treating me to lunch the next day to make up for it.

We've been dating ever since.