Kidney stones doing war dance
shooting daggers into left flank
popcorn pain dots my innards
cartwheels against my spine
I quiver and quail trying to hide
morphine hustles through my veins
this kind of stoned feels much better
as much as I want and I want plenty
needle huge, feels at least foot long
plunged relentlessly into my butt
sadistic nurses or so they seem
but I soon go into la la land
I wake up, screaming with distress
begin to vomit, aim toward evil nurse
worst of all, I was six months pregnant!