He came to the conclusion

in a profusion of elation

that it was all a delusion

pieces of her crafty illusion.

It was a trap out of proportion

as the spider webbed her lies

around his hapless innocence

crooned sweet arsenic ballads

corralling him in her fenced pen,

prisoner of her wicked wiles.

Drew her evil blade of no tomorrow

across his docile proffered throat

ending what had once been

lilting songs of their beginning.

I had an affair with the grown son of my husband's best friend. We carried on for months, we had secret meeting spots, we had secret apps on our phones to communicate. In public, we interacted as we always had. Behind closed doors, our bodies would fuse together in the hottest, absolutely forbidden, most intense sexual debauchery I'd ever experienced.

I knew I was in trouble when I saw him on a date. Quite by accident, we were at the same restaurant. On my way outside for a smoke, I spotted him... He was sitting at a small table in the darkened bar with a girl. A girl his own age, a girl much more suitable than I was. Outside, I fought tears as I tried to reel in my foolish heart. What was I thinking? That I was the only one? What right did I have to be jealous? So what if he was on a date, I was there with my husband. Logically, I knew this to be true. But who has a logical heart?

Months passed, but the affair wasn't ending. The girl from the restaurant hadn't reappeared. And then one night, he said he loved me. Like a naive schoolgirl, my heart soared at his proclamation. I loved him, I'd known it that night at the restaurant. But I'd kept that feeling to myself, certain that what we had together was temporary. I'd enjoy it while it lasted and wish him well when it was over.

Then he said he loved me.

I moved out a few months later. Crashing with friends, couch surfing until I finally got my own place. And my very first night in my brand new home, he was there. In my bed, in my arms. It was a glorious time, finally to be held by him all night. Waking up to his smile. Coming home to love and laughter and hope.

I started to believe in forever again.

But forever is a foolish notion created by lovesick poets & exploited by Hallmark. How could a love that began the way ours did stand a chance? We fought an uphill battle from day one. We caused pain & misery & humiliation to both of our families. We lied to everyone for nearly a year while we carried on behind their backs. We lied to each other during that time. We lied to each other after my marriage was over. We lied to each other today.

More than 2 years have passed since that affair began. We lived together for over a year. Until he left me a month ago. Broken-hearted & alone, I have screamed & raged against the unfairness of the world, against him, & mostly against myself. How could I let my stupid heart get carried away when my brain knew better?

We were doomed before we started. Love needs a solid foundation. Building love on lies is like building your home in the sand. It'll crumble and fall, no matter how pretty it is.

I will tell you a tale it is a true story I'm afraid, only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Jill met Jack in freshman year of college. Jack was a foxy lad. Jill came from well to do background, Jack was very poor and had a horrible upbringing.

Jack proposed. Jill had certain standards, she was a virgin, she wanted her guy to be one also.

Jack lied and said he was, they married.

THEY HAD NOTHING IN COMMON.

They had three lovely kids, two boys and a daughter. As the years passed there was always something wrong, underlying in their relationship.

Jill kept finding other men more attractive.

Jack always talked down to Jill as if she was stupid.

As the years went by, Jack had different jobs.

Jill had a daycare in her home to help support them so she could be home with her kids.

Jack and Jills mother were in a horrible car accident. It wasn't Jacks fault, a lady on Rx drugs swerved over head on into them on the interstate. Jills mother died at the scene. Jack and Jills daughter was buckled up in the back seat and had to have emergency surgery. Jack had sustainable injuries but would physically be alright.

She made her kids her life. Never do that for they grow up and leave to make their own families.

When her parents died she inherited enough to put Jack through collage and build a nice home.

Jack became a youth/preacher

He didn't have to do much at this job, so he skated by Jill helped him a lot!

Jacks depression was getting worse now, eating him alive you could say.

Jack lost his church job. From there it was all down hill. Jill was working and paying all the bills.

Jack carried the weight of that one lie this whole time, after the accident Jill tried to get him to go to counseling. He said he didn't need that. He was a man and real men can handle it. Months went by,

He wasn't working, he wasn't doing anything.

Jill tried on several different occasions to get there Dr. To treat him, but he just didn't. (they were friends) she begged Jack to go to counseling again he said no.

After 8 years of trying after the accident, Jill had enough. She was tired of not being acknowledged when she got home. Tired of hearing just a grunt from Jack when she said hello.

So she gathered up some things and left and never went back.

All these years this marriage was based on a belief that once your married you stay married. That was her belief.

Jack had been so cruel to her if she had gone back to him it would have been worse.

When she left him, he ran to their grown children and told them. Completely turned them against her, their biggest fan and cheerleader.

So he's a liar and a thief.

I didn't lie to make myself seem better, or even more likable. I almost wish I had, for at least that would be a slightly better excuse for my deceit. In truth, I lied to make myself simpler, to make myself easy. I wanted to seem transparent, to be someone who you could always count on not to be complicated. I didn't want to have real problems, or even real depth. I wanted to be the solid, silent companion. I wanted to be the person who listened but never spoke, who answered but never asked, who gave help but never needed it. I wanted to pass the time happily, ignoring my truth and my pain and being little more than a cheery helper.

But then I fell in love with you. I don't know how you felt about me, or even how I wanted you to feel about me. All I knew was that I had to leave. All that I had ever been - all that we had ever been - was a lie, an illusion. A harmless one, perhaps, but still not an easy one to explain. 

If I ever said I love you, know that it was my way to cry.

I shed blood when you lie.

I used to harm myself but I'd never hurt you how I feel inside.

I want you to scream for my name in your mind.

I sound insane when I moan jus to find, if you're still looking, know I won't hide.

This confusion we speak is what thrills my high.

The laughter I secretly spill on your ride.

Choking on words was a painful tie, I hung myself to let it out.. 

Beauty has a beast that sulks in hell.

You danced with the devil, and when she fell, you vowed to bow upon her knees and keep her tale, hidden with the forbidden for when she was bitten it peeled her scales, showing her beneath the scars is what made her frail.

Underneath her bed is what made him pale.

Skeletons slept in her closet.

Love would spell, a curse you'd smell with a hiss from her purse.

Don't trust yourself. 

I spoke to myself.

Unveil the poor brides tail.

Illusion , ill using , bruising and worth every scratch on the door.

Nail her down to the floor, make him confess what he's felt deep before, a pitch beyond daddys whore.

Sultrist for gore and sweaty sheets.

The tears faced a laced gown as she crowned to keep, spirit, soul and harmony. 

I was money to A hand on me.

"Sorry" is what made me weak, only thru sacred language we'd leak.

Our venom, is craved, it's we, lust and horns, a wicked creek.

Pricked my thorn on his cheek, the rose was mine, pick a victim & conceal his time, show him where he lays to die.

To decay a man who is a live to land is why I sin over until again.

Evil forgives, my shallow grief.