Black roses scattered on ground

devil’s gift reeking rotten scent

gravel digs deeply into my chin.

Mind chaos – am I still here?

ping pong ball pain

side to side inside skull

dark pain of crashing brain

no stop signals in sight.

Light pole arcs jangling light

boring swords into eyeballs.

I see with veil obscuring

rose’s deep crimson blood,

coating psyche in red slashes.

Knife lies sanguine across alley

Devil’s body, outstretched arms

coal black with stabs of red

I lift my throbbing head

searching for facial features

Is this what the devil looks like?

Yes, it is Satan incarnate

life blood pooling around him.

Lightning bolt stabs my memory

carmine flashes awakening senses

I realize it’s tainted ex-husband –

Chewed me up in little crust pieces,

now I have ripped a chunk out of him.

I feel no guilt as I stagger away

free of the scourge of my past, but

I can’t scrub the blood off my hands.

I awaken to find nothing familiar laying out by a spring of transparent water.

With nothing familiar I am bound by no tether, it is with this realization must I choose panic or wonder.

No strings attach me,

No longer bound I am free!

Panic is dismissed for sheer exhilaration.

My heart begins to pound as I push myself up off of the ground.

I tug at my clothes, the word "my" feeling wrong on my self to impose.

I push the straps off and over my shoulders, with each article removed feeling all the more bolder.

In mind and body completely bare, I wade into the water and lose myself there.

I form the first memory to which I shall cling, the water is cold, the sun is warm, yes I can feel everything.

My heartbeat strong beneath my naked breast, the water envelops me while time is at its rest;

This is existence.

This is me.

Now that I'm baptized, renewed, cleansed and clean, I will continue to wonder, wander and dream.