Sanguine Rivers of Life Forgotten
Beholding on high from mountainous heap
of garbage emotion, I see subliminal messages
flash then fade away into a nothing mist -
no visible wounds or scars but bitter cold at heart.
Hollow memories burrow like deranged chiggers
with foul slivered eyes pulsing deprivation,
leaving jagged marks upon my soul in anguish weeds.
I remove your fierce mask and see your festered blisters
as I bleed out in sanguine rivers of life forgotten,
pulsing wounds of dwindling life force nourishment.
Churning waves of a screaming ocean of angst
witness my slow, tortured death, throbbing last gasp.
Not over you
My heart clenched and twisted inside me
Seeing him happy with another girl
Made me feel like death was better
Then I realised I was not over you.
White Worm Insomnia
My tremor-sick brain twitches in the black crow of night, electrocuting my dreams with sinister images. Beyond mere insomnia, fear and failure linger like an unwanted guest, prying my eyeballs open with crowbar force. It eats every minute of every day, insatiable, like a lone maggot slowly consuming my flesh in a life-long dedication to decay.
"No...No...No..." they all say. "We don't want your work, we don't want your anguish, we don't want you." My festering-alive cadaver threatens to burst open and spill its steely rage. If only I could burn these pages without reducing them to ash.
If only these cubicle walls would collapse and squash my droning guts. Then my ghost could fly far away as the busy work drowns in my gushing blood. Maybe then they would remember me.
Maybe then I could sleep at night, if they would eat alongside the maggot, wolfing my flesh and blood and bone. But you wouldn't dare sample my acerbic skin, not even for a taste of the sweet, meaty innards. The white worm eats alone, steadfast in its quest for bone.
Feel My Pain
The moonlight showed me
A different side of you,
And I gave you a spark.
I am presented with
Lead in my gut,
A knife in my back,
And burns on my heart.
But you decided that,
That wasn't enough,
So you lied
And added chains
That drag me into the darkness.
I am starving
And abused by strangers.
I can't stop it.
There are no handholds
On the slick walls of this
Pit you threw me in.
And now, you've run away,
Horrified that you
Destroyed the one person
You always wanted.
But as I lay in the filth,
Bleeding and wasting away,
I know that
You will spend
The rest of your life
Praying in secret
As I am rescued
Glued back together
From another man.
Lead in your gut
As he kisses me.
Knife in your back
As he marries me.
Burns on your heart
As I give him children.
But there will be
No chains from me
And no pit,
Because as I see you
Watching my happiness
From the other side of the fence,
I know that
Your happiness is found
You can never have.
Where once there was a string, there's now a line,
Vibration-free, between yours and mine.
What is worse than saying goodbye?
Seeing truth after love has lied.
Suffering mind, staggering mind
Here one minute, gone the next
To watch it play out
To see the torment
Oh Brother, where are you now?
You are alive
You are alive
I am here
Asking a higher power to take this.
You are alive
And know this, you don't suffer alone.
Daybreak’s unwelcome infliction,
Severe cranial constriction.
Each morning awake,
A throbbing headache,
Vile circadian affliction.
Tearing, ripping at my gut
Slashing while you're in a rut
Bleeding hopelessness and despair
But only when you are there
Run and hide and stab the space
You will never find a place
Aching, longing to be free
Just move along, right past me
Embedded in my very core
Your rotten, stinking words -NO MORE
Cancel all the private dates
Oozing dripping spitting hate
Nerves on fire
On the taut high wire
Dancing to the puppet strings
The torture that tomorrow brings
Pointed daggers in my skull
Your words are darts, my will is null
Tie that noose around my neck
And from there send me to heck
Demons eating in a rage
I think it's time to turn the page
Pounding, storming, jackknifed rage
Time for you to act your age
Disposable world I'm living in
You were my biggest sin
The wound you have will never stop bleeding
The truth is, in your heart, you still haven't stopped screaming
When it was made, you took it, and that part of you was gone
But you smiled instead, said no worries, and moved on
You thought it was better that way
Forgive and forget, as they say
The thing is, you're weaker now than you've ever been
You don't know that you've been worn quite this thin
The situation is critical, the stakes are high
But you wouldn't know - you've turned a blind eye
You chose to walk around like this, refused to dress this injury
Anytime someone's asked, you've shunned their inquiry
You've went about, let it fester, and stay raw
Instead of acknowledging, you chose to withdraw
You're okay, you think, and believe this ultimate lie
Which is why you gush lifeblood and never even know why
Laces through my heart.
Your words like barbs
Amplifying the force.
Your tongue is a weapon,
And my heart is the target,
Taking aim with precision
To shoot through my confidence.
But watch out for the recoil
For your words
May bite back at you,
Forcing you to feel as I do.
From the inside out.