"Well I love you more than pancakes! And waffles! Combined!" Amanda Smith exclaimed from inside a large stadium filled with spotlights, Jumbotrons, and an audience of 50,000 spectators.

"And here it is, folks, two hours into the No-I-Love-You-More LXIX World Champion Series, Amanda is finally taking the initiative with a bold declaration!" remarked enthusiastic sportscaster Garfield Springs. "How will Toby respond?"

"I don't know Garfield, how would you!?" asked Odie Graham, Garfield's co-anchor.

"Honestly Odie, I just don’t know! With a line like that, how could anyone make a comeback now!?" Garfield shouted into his mic.

"Well we'll find out soon enough! Toby’s opened his mouth for a rebuttal!" Odie observed.

"Oh yeah? Well I love you more than coffee on Mondays!" Toby Adams professed.

"More than coffee on Mondays!? Is that even physically possible!? Where is Mike, our resident physicist!?" shouted Garfield.

"Mike here, and while this is hypothetically possible, this is THE FIRST documented incident - history in the making!" Mike declared with gusto.

"Thank you Mike for that telling report!" Garfield replied. "And now, we'll take a small commercial break as both sides prepare for the last quarter of the No-I-Love-You-More LXIX World Champion Series. Stay tuned!"

 "What If she says no?What if she slaps or punches me again?We've been seeing each other for a year.Is that enough?Am I enough?What is enough?What am I?Who am I?Where am I?"

As you can see,Ruiz was the only one who could shake me up.

" Brad ! Calm down.As much as I hate to admit it but Ruiz lo-lo-...ahem..lo-lo-..damn it..loves you.So stop rambling and get out there.I still don't know how she can fall for a monster like you but it is what they say-love is blind",Ranted her not so sweet friend.

And so here was my brilliant plan to get the girl of my dreams to marry me.Win the soccer game and she will say yes.

Bird in the bag,my friend.Bird in the bag.

"And it looks like Brad has the ball now.He's streaking down towards the goal..Oops! Nasty bump there!Brad has been hit on his mouth!"Ow..that must have hurt.

Taking a small time out,I walked to the benches and discreetly whipped out the small mirror I always carried around.

Oh shit!My lip was starting to swell to the size of a melon.Bravely,I walked back to the field,turning my head towards the crowd I was slightly encouraged when my girlfriend blew me a kiss.

"Must finish and propose"repeating this mantra throughout the game really didn't help that much.But I tried to block one player from scoring the goal.Should I mention that it was my own teammate?

The horrid game finally finished(we lost 2-4)and I ran towards my angel in red.Little by little the crowd grew silent and pensive as I neared my prey.

Pausing in front of Ruiz,I shouted,"Ruiz,will you marry me?"Well, that's what it sounded like in my mind.

In reality I had shouted," Reiz,wi you melly meh?"Instead of eagerly acquiescing, she shot me a puzzled look and her eyes shifted nervously.

"Er, what was that Brad?"

"Wi you melly meh?"

"Melanin?The disease?"

"Nuh!Gah Dehnit!"(Nah!God damn it!) 

Finally giving up,I eloquently drew out the ring box and tossed it gracefully to her from afar.

Huh.I wish.

According to everyone present there.I aggressively tore the box out of my pocket and savagely chucked at Ruiz.

Well to make a long story short,she accepted(after a lot of rantings and yelling).