I wish I could earn the privilege of beholding her beauty every day, When I see her face, I see that life's beautiful & worth living,

Though I see the crowd, my heart can only perceive her,

I can feel her presence from a thousand miles away,

Her glow makes the moon settle for second-place.

She's more beautiful than the rainbow, more lovely than the sunset,

She's far from the usual that even Venus bows at her feet,

Her voice is as soft as wool, it calms my raging heart,

Her smile could make a madman regain his senses,

Her presence overwhelms me, it makes me run out of words,

All I wish for is to sit with her on the rooftop telling her sweet things as we compare her glow with that of the moon,

Just for the most insignificant spot in her heart,

I could give up my life,

But it's just so sad that all I can do is wish.

I have had the tattoo for as long as I can remember. My earliest memory was asking my mother where it came from and what it meant, but she wouldn't tell me. Now that I am older I know what the words say "Can I sit here? Where is the ketchup?" An odd phrase to be tattooed, and even now, at twelve I'm still wondering what it means.I got many questions about the tattoo, my friends always give me weird looks and parents wondered why someone would tattoo a minor. However, then all became clear when I changed schools after fourth grade; the day I met my best friend.

On the first day of school, I was a fish out of water.

Then came lunchtime.

The cafeteria was overflowing with students. None of the faces familiar. No one was interested in a small girl with mousy brown hair who sat by herself at an empty table. I guessed that was going to be me until middle school, the lonely weird girl that no one wanted to talk to. Then I saw him.

He had short, blonde hair and glasses that seemed too big for his round face. He stepped out of the lunch line with his tray, looking around for several minutes before walking up to me.

"Can I sit here?" He asked, "… And, uh, where's the ketchup?"

Numbly, I pointed him in the direction of the condiments table at the far end cafeteria. Once his back was turned I found myself unconsciously rubbing my right arm where my tattoo was. I had the oddest sense of déjà vu…

The boy with blond hair and glasses returned to the table. Placing his tray next to mine he sat down.

"By the way," he said, "my name's Jay. What's yours?"

She was sitting beside him as him came in closer and brushed her hair from her one eye. She flushed and turned her head, but he gently pulled her chin back toward him and then it happened. He kissed her. Never had she been kissed before. The excitement. The fire in her body coming alive. Such feelings she had never experienced before. She thought she should have her eyes closed as she saw sometimes on the movies and so she closed them. Sweet soft kisses kept coming to her lips. Taking her breath away. Her tender nipples so hard, they hurt brushing against her training bra. Then she felt his hand. He touched her young, tender, breasts. What was happening? Was she ready for this? The fear and excitement clouded her mind. His kisses started to get faster and harder, grabbing her supple breasts. Before she knew what was happening, he had laid her down onto the seat. Forcing her down. The boys free hand went up her dress and to her moistened panties. She tried to pull away at this point. His solid weight pinned her down. His other hand in her blouse, pulling her perky tits, pink and tender out of the training bra. Trying to fight to get free, but yet the thrill of the hot, hard kisses, bruising her lips. His other hand ripped her panties off and undid his pants. Her own body betraying her as he touched her clitoris. She felt the hot, hard stab between her legs. Forcing his way in. The searing pain, hot and shooting. Tears streaming down her face. In and out, each time stabbing deeper. Faster and harder, his body slapping against hers. She was lost somewhere. He made a weird noise and his body stiffened.

Nothing will come of this, I reminded myself as I followed him through the crowded dance floor. I knew how this went. Every time was the same. I follow a guy thinking he is actually interested in me and end up vomiting in a bathroom stall three months later and praying I'm not pregnant. Luckily, I haven't been. Well, I took the pill before it could happen. I felt in my purse to make sure I had one. I've decided that if I'm going to be someone's toy, I might aw well be equipped.

He guided me outside of the stadium and backstage. I'm not a nervous person but goosebumps erupted in patches on my cheeks and forearms. I'd barely seen his face when he plucked me out of the crowd. I'd gotten the basics and I replayed them in my mind. He was darker than most men I'm attracted to with long dark hair. I remembered his eyes the best. They were dark like mine but they had a certain shimmer that I couldn't stop thinking about. We passed people kissing and a bouncer handing out condoms. My heart kicked my throat. Was I about to go to an orgy?

Emotionless, he passed them without a glance. We got to another door and he pushed it open. The November air gripped my dress. I shivered. He escorted me across the parking lot to a car. He took his jacket off and draped it around my shoulders before opening the door for me.

"You don't want to sleep with me?" I asked.

I must have sounded like a fool.

"I think you're beautiful," he said, "But I can tell you aren't twenty-one. Call me when you are."

I rolled my eyes and got in the car. What a jerk.

"Come on, A. You know that you're going to love this place. I promise it'll be safe." that's what my best friend Julie said as she hailed a taxi. It was about 17 below 0 and somehow she managed to drag me out of my snuggie. "Do you remember me having to drag your ass home?" I said with folded arms and pressed blood red frozen lips. She chuckles as the taxi comes up curbside "Ok, it won't be like that. This is more... pleasure" her trailed words leave me with an arched brow and sudden concern.

Deciding not to be the Debbie downer I get into the flow of the night taking a few selfies, duck face and all, laughing to myself. We pull up and Julie gives $20 to the driver. We exit to a block that is completely vacated with only a darkened alley ahead. "Umm... Jules, where are we?" She hands me a mask. "Just follow." she says and I do. We walk down the alley and stop at a metal framed door. Knocking three times a small window creeks open and she says three words "The white rabbit." he opens.

Big, tall, and muscular he steps aside as we walk passed and through a hallway. Low colors begin to scheme across of red and black and with each flash of red there's a couple. Each in a different position and I stop, Julie turns "It's ok! I promise!" as she speaks I feel hands over my shoulders and a low husk whisper "Listen to your friend." The linger of his words give me a sudden arousal as they brush my earlobe and I turn but its too dark. Another flare of red sparks as Julie takes my hand, pulling me away into the rabbit whole.