Black tiger struts into my life

killing my spirit from inside,

spitting infidelity into refuse pile,

lurking in shadows of alleys,

looking for drunken whores,

pouring toxicity into souls.

I feel rot of shattered promises,

toxic words spill out from glass

we share, funneling into

lonely place of armless pain.

        I’ll bleed for you tomorrow

Prefab whispers breathing lies,

puffy eyelids swollen wide open,

worn out shoes and blistered feet,

bloody streets and sobering dawn,

bee stings of shattered promises,

scars of festering nakedness.

        I’ll bleed for you tomorrow

Digging, scratching, mangling

spreading your toxic disease

in clouded gutter where I reside.

Gray skies floating away in smoked

glass and fractured images but

your angry touch lets me know

I still exist in this numbing place,

part of your life’s toxic waste.

        I’ll bleed for you tomorrow

My first.

You never forget,

And I never will. 

The butterflies,

The goosebumps,

The texts,

The calls,

The love,

Puppy love.

But puppies bite,

Puppies fight,

Puppies whine all night.

That was us.

On and off,

Light switch of love.

We'd kiss and hug,

But a wayward glance,

A misinterpreted smile,

A friendly hug

Seen from afar,

Drove us mad.

"You looked at him!"

"You touched her!"

"I can't lose you!"

Two misplaced hearts,

Strangling each other

With adolescent ribs.

We were a sitcom.

We were broken records.

We were shards of glass

Stuck under healed over skin.

Tolerable at times,

But unbearable at others.

The end came soon,

Too soon at times,

Too late at others.

We died in a week,

Then were revived,

Only to be killed again.

It went that way for months.

We were a Taylor Swift song.

We were a Shakespearean sonnet.

We were a phoenix.

Things ended,

And came back to die.

Now, it is years later,

And we don't talk,

Yet you still remain in my heart.

you ignited

an uncouth flame

a knife to sharpen

and a thing to blame

but forever we were

never tamed--

this feeling,

you, or me?

for all the venom, anger, hate

one bitter craving filled my plate

and in that alone we shared one taste

a need for darkness' sweet embrace

I wonder how we'll ever face--

this feeling,

you, or me?

it hurt like nothing ever did

I chose to feel, and feelings bid

with two scraped knees,

tears like a kid--

this feeling,

you, or me?

an oversized bandaid cannot fix

a friendship full of toxic tricks

it was just us that didn't mix

like STDs and turning tricks

best to us

and relationships--

this feeling?

it's just me.

Everything will always be about you and only you

It doesn’t matter if I care

If I’m helping

If I’m working to understand you and get you to a better place

That was never your goal

All you wanted was a person who you could attach onto like a parasite

Forget me and leave your venom inside to kill me slowly

I wanted to be the one for you

But that ego of yours was too big to tackle

I can’t believe I ever put on that shackle

You tell me that you love me,

But I think that isn't so,

More times than I can count,

You have told me where to go,

You tell me that you need me,

That's a good one, I should save,

I think you only need me,

Like an owner needs a slave,

You say your shit don't stink,

Well that's a far cry from the truth,

I've had to shovel enough of it,

It sure ain't no Baby Ruth!

I've had to wash your dishes,

Clean your toilets, wash your floors,

Then you have the gall to demand,

That I do all of your chores,

You take me to your bed each night,

Where there you have your way,

Treated like a piece of bed meat,

Prolonging the foreplay,

Then you have the audacity to say,

Something that makes me sicken,

You tell me that you love me,

And that I '...taste like chicken.'