love letter
My memory of you is altered daily when we talk.
My dreams of you are more and more vivid.
The rain seems to fall slower now and when I'm lonely I remember how you waited for me.
I remember your smile.
And your changing eyes.
You've said before that you didn't understand romantic love so I want to explain it to you in a way you'll understand.
Well.
Romantic love is that rope I tied around your wrist that's connected to my heart
And the farther away you get, the more I feel that pull.
Your name is like a song stuck in my head.
I cannot help but fit you into every simile and metaphor.
Two days ago when we talked I was feeling okay until I looked over at you sitting so close literally two feet away
And I remembered the intensity with which I love you and we are so very close
If only the clock didn't move so fast
Then maybe I could catch you before you walked out the door.
Well.
Maybe you have not felt love.
Maybe you have, but not for me.
Masks
I see him, and my heart freezes.
No, no, not again.
He is holding flowers,
And wearing something nice.
My friends must have
Told him "something I said"
Jokingly.
They can be such assholes.
I cannot face him,
Once more pretending
That there is some interest
Of him and me being
"More than friends"
When friends is a stretch.
I sigh.
There is no getting out of this.
I force my feet to move,
Forcibly pushing me down
The hall towards him.
My heart is thudding,
harder and harder,
As we near each other.
He grins.
"I'd like to ask you out on date."
My heart clamors to silence,
And sweat beads down my face.
I force a nice smile,
Accepting the flowers,
And biting my lip.
He waits with his grin,
Anticipating.
"I'd love to go out with you."
He lights up instantly,
A kid in a candy store,
And runs to tell his friends
I accepted! I accepted!
While I stand in the hall,
Fighting back tears.
Damn.
I start the walk of shame.
Moon Shadow
When she awakens, she is dead.
His face, the Moon's, a hovering ghost
A screen against which cranes rise and crash,
And rise again …
When she awakens,
She is dead.
His leaving dries upon her flesh, so brittle
Tissue fragile: a dead butterfly's wings buffeted by wind.
She runs a cautious tongue across her teeth and licks her lips
Tasting only salt and grit;
The searching kisses, the velvet tongue, slip into memory's
Lavender-tinted distance, just beneath the dawn.
He would not lead her, though she followed
Hands sliding into the cave of his heart
Unlatching Death's door, calling down the Dark
Until his secrets swirled inside her
Whorls of dust. The pressure and the stealing warmth
A dance of motes, a myth of fingerprints.
When she awakens, she is
A tendril of mist encircling
The moon’s silver shadow
A variation on a theme
A last note lingering in still air
She is the cry of a mourning dove in autumn:
She can see her breath.
Heartbreak in Blue
When I lay
Still in bed
Tucked under my blanket
That perfectly
Matches yours
And I hold my breath
And everything is silent
I still
Can hear
Your steady heart beat
As if
It's still there
Beneath my cheek
And even still
When I catch
Sight of you
Even if it's
Next to her
I see flashes
Of your brilliant smile
And hear
Your beautiful voice
Telling me
How perfect
I am
How perfect
We are
How perfect
That moment was
And in the middle
Of the night
When I'm cold
And lonely
And I'm laying there
Wishing I was
In a different bed
I can still feel
Your fingers
On my skin
Your lips on mine
And then I
Wonder
If she knows
How good
She really has it
And I know
That when she looks
In those
Blue eyes
She has no clue
But I guess
That's how it goes
A heartbreak in blue
At least for me
And I think for you too
Love isn't always mutual
I've learned that
And I think so have you
Will I Ever Love Again?
On the vine, you are of beauty, supple and lovely.
You locked your heart, for me to touched
To hold firmly! To embraced tightly!
To kissed tenderly!
Will you blame me? For what I've done?
With your heart’s divine, love holds eternally
I’ve been so unkind to your being sublime
Taming me to felt the love you covet.
Ever wanting me, for the sky's so high
To the zenith of joy, you contrived about
Truth hurts, I knew my feeling's adorned
I can’t teach the way you wanted me to be.
Love’s the only reason, cared nothing more
What you dwelt within no reason at all
Again, you’ve taught me the love you have had
But my heart says, I don't love you anymore.
I have needs and soulful wants
But those belong to the woman I loved
You blend lies and feelings with mine
Molding into mountains of your heart's desire.
Your love poisoned my soul
Your beauty entwined my heart
Sipping drops of blood
Into everlasting ecstasy.
At last my darling
You kissed me goodbye
Whispering the last words
Will I Ever Love Again?