You are right, I did give you insufficient change.

I am sorry about having only one teller available during the lunch rush.

Why yes, there are 12 other employees goofing off here at the post office.

Why yes, size does matter to me for I am superficial and in it just for the money.

My child really isn't as smart as I previously thought.

Socialism really is slavery.

No, it really does not happen to every guy.

I know my butt is fat so I will not ask you how I look in these pants.

I agree, my baby is a very ugly baby.

Welcome to McDonalds. I will get your order wrong and make you wait forever for it.

Why yes, I am buying votes with your social security taxes.

Why yes, I am buying votes giving away stuff paid by your taxes.

Why yes, I do believe you, the voter, are an idiot.

Why yes, I am a congressman and above the law.

Why yes, even though we had a legal election, I will work to overturn the results.

Why yes, I ran for congress, just for the perks.

Why yes, I suddenly remembered he touched my rear 40 years ago.

Why yes, I waited until he was important or rich to file a lawsuit.

Why yes, I demand you believe in global warming.

Why yes, I did not study science so I do not know that science does not require a vote.

You’re a survivor. A lot of people told you it wasn’t possible, that you weren’t good enough. No matter how hard you tried, and how well you did, they laughed. You endured it all, and somehow you never gave up. You’re a fighter.

You’re strong. Your hard work reaped results. After years of studying, you’re saving people everyday, and they praise you and your work. Like a rock in a rushing river, you stayed grounded and didn’t falter, even as others lost their footing and rushed past. Now, you can spread knowledge, and fuel new discoveries. You’re successful.

You’re loved. They will never leave you. When you’re gone, they miss you with passion. You’ve surrounded yourself with the best kinds of people. You’re wanted.

You’re influential. You touch lives within a wide radius, and you’ve changed people for the better. Maybe you’ve gone off track, but now you always practice integrity and candor. Your legacy will live. You’re inspirational.

You’ve achieved it.