Alcohol wipes. Air hugs

Hand sanitizers. Yard talks .

Give me the vodka. Elbow high-five.

Is it clean enough? How far are you?

White mask. Fabric mask. Halloween mask. Orange peel mask.

Lettuce mask. Onion mask. Bra mask. Diaper mask. Tampon mask.

You know what humans are. Two-eyes-one-nose-one-mouth Homo.

Toilet paper. Campbell's chicken soup. Baked beans. Cereals.

Frozen peas. Frozen pizza. Frozen dip. Frozen everything.

Empty shelves. Confused omnivores. Six-foot checkout.

What’s the news? Positive cases. Negative faces.

Is your president sick? Is your grandma sick?

Is your dad sick? Is your baby sick? Am I sick…?

Bored kids. Crazy parents. Looong holiday.

Barren streets. Silent offices. Light’s out.

My paychecks. Oh, my bygone days.

Tired doctors and nurses. Heroes.

Trash men. Unsung heroes.

Do you get some sleep?

Summer is here.

You aren't.

Different.

Being alone isn't just a feeling, it's a sensation that makes your fingers and toes numb, leaves you breathless with fear. You look around and see things that you know you can never have, no matter how hard you fight and scratch and claw and- it just is incomprehendable to someone who never knew those things before. You run away, hoping to find that one thing to release all of your troubles, but everywhere is always the same. You scream for what you don't know, plead until your throat is sore, tears falling down your face as you find that there are just some things that just aren't meant to be. It is a deep sadness in your very core, an illness that seems like it will never leave no mater how many medications you take or how many people you share your deepest secrets with. You can't escape, and you will ultimately fall into the abyss. That is what being alone feels like.

As the light fades out

And our breathing halts

We are met with the end

The end we all fear

Yet when it comes

It is not scary

No

It is welcomed

It is desired

It is nothingness

As our being withers

We are met with peace

We feel the anxiety

The depression

The hate

Slowly fade as we accept

That we are now blissfully nothing

I close my eyes.

Everything rushes through at once, thousands of moments, fleeting and crushing. So many sensations, it’s as if they’re drowning me, pulling me further and further into that sheer abyss.

As if my life were nothing than a cheap student made movie: my first pet- an all black kitten I lovingly named Sirius, my first kiss- a young boy who did it on a dare, the time I got kicked out of an Applebees for having one too many daiquirs, my first breakup, my first panic attack, then my second, and my third, and there goes my fourth.

All these visions swim along an ethereal screen, and I have no choice but to hold my breath and pray it will end soon. When will it fade away, when will this vast ocean become a drought?

I open my eyes.