I

Live in my purest form

I

See all the birds that swarm

I

Can’t feel the life inside

Lost

in a blank demise

I

Hear my own ghost calling

He

Tells me that I’m falling

I

Just can’t withstand the truth

And

Succumb my lively youth

So

Here I beg and plead

Against my own beliefs

I

Sound off on beds and leaves

I

tell the help I need

But

I hear no response

The

Sign of a fleeting god

I’m

so Lost in time and space

I

Wish that my life erased

When

I know I feel this pain

I

Try to avoid the reign

Of

My own terror

But it’s

So deep inside me

I

Can’t see that deep inside me

But

I swear that it can see me

I

Swear that it controls me

So I

Guess I’m a living goat

But

Not in the way I hoped

I

See that my life was wrote

Not in the tone i needed

Underneath it all

Against my minds resolve

I

Guess I keep on breathing

What is this life I’m leading

And if I died today

I know who I’d be leaving

I just can’t stand that thought

But

What does it matter

If I’m in a bleak abyss

I wouldn’t feel their pain

I wouldn’t hear their cries

No remorse or sorrow

But still I know they pray

That I wake up tomorrow

And for that I’m sorry

Mama please forgive me

I didn’t have an option

I stood on that ledge

And saw the flames approaching

I had to choose a death

Dead or alive I bargained

For a better life

But it never came

Once again I’m sorry

know you’re not to blame

And when you seek that ledge

I know you’ll feel the same

But

When we both arrive

Locked in eternal flames

The flames from which we ran

Stand

Trial as a saint

But

I find peace in how

My feet left the ledge

The way the wind erupted

The way my body loved it

Gave me a taste of free

And

That’s enough for me

I hold tightly to the scent of you, until it’s completely overtaken by the sugary sweet smell of all of me.

I’m incomplete without it.

You are sunshine, smoke and salt, and without you, all my vanilla sugar cookie clouds are just fluff.

You’re my balance.

My better half, the grumble to my giggles.

You make me a better person, because how could I not strive to be as good as you deserve?

You’re my favorite, my best, and the only forever I’ll ever see.

And the world, for all its bad and baffling and bizarre, is still good and kind and warm, because you are in it.

You are all the words I’ve ever found, and all the words I cannot form. You’re every love song ever written, and the reason there is always a song in my heart.

I can’t say it enough, and I’m incapable of saying it to the full extent it lives in my soul, because there aren’t words that go that deep.

So I’ll just say I love you.

❤️

A peach clothed in the gaud of life and spring

Its downy skin glistened with beads of dew.

What better image for the fleeting zing

Of youth, and its pressed hope for life anew?

A peach which holds within itself the tree

And hundred more like peaches too. Alas,

Within its flesh and seed does death tarry.

For sacrifice is want for life to pass

From one to one and keep the scales aright.

This I know and contemplate it often.

Whilst searching fruits or viewing birds in flight

This I know and say with soul unsoftened

To our precious child that you left me

With eyes like yours and skin bright and downy.