Knowing you, there will be an excuse for your absence.

Knowing me, I will accept your excuse even when it has been the hundredth time that you are not here.

Knowing you, you will twist my words even though I thought them unbreakable in their meaning this time. Yet here you are, bending them until you break my heart in the process.

And knowing me, when the breaking happens I’ll be alone, wailing to the shower head because it is the safest place for my tears. For no one can hear you when shower’s on, and I lie to myself so I can ache.

And knowing you, the end of us will be as quick as the beginning and you will dig our grave with a swiftness I keep forgetting you possess and you’ll laugh at what we were.

And knowing me, I’ll actually laugh with you. Because how can you not laugh at the absurdity of how your heart is being buried like a murder victim: quickly and without remorse.

And it is dusk somewhere, the sun will set on our love and I will look out in awe at nature poetically putting an end to our time together.

And knowing you, you will not even look up to see it.

dear Theprosedotcomniks! i wish to use the stage given me, to make a serious appeal for personal safety. and so i shall eschew using ANY of the abovementioned topics, but aim to provide helpful life-saving advice.

sure, there many dangers in life; school shootings , deadly viruses, accidents, washing machines. but few are aware that more than 63% of household deaths accure out of the malice of pillows?

this is a fact that most disregard, or downplay, though it is nevertheless a very real threat, which has brought many to their doom since the dawn of time.

while there is almost nothing you can do to pacify a fed up, or furious item of apholstery, the first step to personal safety is awareness.

to that end, here is a compiled list of eleven easy-to-spot signs. these dentist's dozen shall hopefully alert you to sign that your pillow is preparing to cross the line between seething hatred and homicide.

11: the imprint you leave on the pillow, when waking up, is left unchanged when you go back to sleep.

pillows tend to overcompensate. they know that despite their strong, violent emotions, what they are contemplating is fundamentally wrong. they would not reform the shape or smooth it out ob their own, though it is quite easy for them to do, and they have hours and hours to do so. no. they hold the shape of the subsumed head as the dilemma of murder gnaws on them. it will not last for long though. once they made up their minds, and their commitment is unwavering, then you meet no inprint at all.

10: it gets bunchy.

pillows have full control of events and yet to choose to not be equally puffy at all points of their interface?

this is a definite sign. pillows that reach this point are trying to resist the inexorable pull of their emotions towards murder. they reason that with this uneven spread, they will be unable to do the deed when the day comes. this will not really stop them.

9: the pillowcase you've chose fell off during the night.

is that in any wayba good sign?! just think about it.

8: the pillow that you were using between your knees is missing.

some people, who are using the 2 or even 3 pillows , where only one is for resting their head, may think that keeping the pillows on their toes, wondering what position the'll hold in the lineup are dead wrong. pillows are not conpetitive. they will not turn on their own. if anything, they cooparate. so if one of the team is missing, its most likely because its already putting the final touches of the plan and needs tine away to finalize things.

7: they smell different.

oh, thats the sarine..or gun oil...

6: you hear them talking in whispers with other members of the household.

pillows can be chatty when there's something they want. but if one of your pillows spends more time than usual with other people , it means they are solidifying an alliance.

5: you hear the whispered promise "tonight"

pillows are masters of self control but if they cant restrain themselves and actually say this, then they have already made themselves ready mentally for the act they shall invariably commit.

4: your ear feels strange

that strange sensation in your ear may be an inner ear infection. but it could also be an ice-pick.

3: you have a troubling dream about your childhood.

got pushed from the slides in the playground? got stung by a wasp?

where do these dreams come from all of a sudden?

do you really have any doubt...?

2: the pillow is over your face.

well, it's obvious that your are being smothered. if it got to this, you probably didn't pay attention to the other warning signs. let that be a lesson to you about receiving and internlizing good advice.

1: the pillow tells you that it isn't going to kill you.

well. if you raised the topic and it denied planning to assassinate you, then it's obviously a lie. but more eerily perhaps, you could find the pillow starting up a talk, where it promises you loyalty and absolute reliability. this is cearly a misdirection. but sadly, you probably missed the bitter almond smell in the room. that is the sarine gas that is already permeating your nervous system. it was all a ploy to keep you from seeking help when you could still control your muscles.

a few tips to deal with a homicidal pillow:

-clean your house. pillows do not enjoy dust and an untidy atmosphere. it's probably something to do with their distant, jungle-dwelling origin. they are instinctively more hostile in such environments. you will never be liked by them, but the threshold for commiting murder might be higher , and they are less likely to cross it.

-choose the music you play carefully. certain live performances fall far from the high quality of studio-recorded music. pillows do not appreciate the spontaneity or enthusiasm envolved in live performances and resent hearing them bitterly.

-do not talk about cushions as equal to pillows.

pillows are old fashioned, and bigotted. they do not see other forms of upholstery as equal. it goes without saying that cushions will not be welcome in bed, even on a temporary basis. same goes with plushy toys, like teddy bears. (on a side note: you might want to be careful of those as well...)

-a buckwheat ergonomic pillow may be introduced.

perhaps as a gift for your partner/significant other. buckwheat ergonomic pillows are loyal to their owners, and may be able to infiltrate the ongoing conspiracy. at the very least, their presence will change the dynamic , and possibly reduce the threat. however, buckwheat pillows get moldy in damp, humid conditions and must be retired eventually, regardless of the personal sacrifices they made for your safety.

- install a dead man's switch.

next time you go for a checkup, ask your family practitioner about installing a dead man's triggering device (DMTDs or NDMTDs) the homicidal pillow is motivated primarily by a hope to improve their lives, once you are dead. they will think twice if they know that your heart stopping shall be their own doom. DO NOT try to bluff. pillows know all about explosives and wiring and will easily spot a fake. it will only antagonize it further.

-show an interest in politics, or current affairs.

pillows feel strongly about things. they may hold opinions that differ greatly from yours, but they are often more hostile to those who are willfully ignorant of the ongoing issues of our times.

-rethink your camouflage pattern.

as was previously mentioned, pillows evolved in sub equatorial jungles. their senses are keen and they may see you approaching from miles away. make sure to avoid contrasting colors and shapes if at all possible. on the other hand, your failed efforts of concealment may seem particularly disingenuous and further drive the pillow to brutality.

-don't sleep on the sofa.

this is not going to work. if the pillow wants you dead, it'll easily track you down. sofas will not lift a finger to save you in that eventuality. they resent much that you did on them and are spiteful. while sofas are not normally murderours, they have been known to exhibt violently when not sufficiently fed. on the whole they are not good for your back. do not hope to receive any good will from the cushions!!

-build alliances with other houshold members.

you need someone to watch your back. easy as that. pillows very rarely risk taking action against more than one person at a time. some household members may find common cause for concern, and agree to cooperate defensively. be careful who you trust though, as that a good quality pillow may be very persuasive in turning others against you. as you build your relationship , make sure to show generosity, but also emphasise the mutual dangers the pillow poses, and most importantly its fickle and treacherous nature.

"Where is that boy?"

The voice is gruff. Griffin knows immediately it is Father, back from work. It's not a good sign, because he shouldn't be home this early. Ten o'clock is early for his parents, and past Griffin's bedtime.

He tugs the blanket over his head, trying to even his breathing. He needs to make it look like he's sleeping, but Father can probably hear the beat of Griffin's heart through the thin walls of the house.

The door to his room opens, and a wave of panic sweeps over Griffin.

Father is not fooled.

"Stand!" Father demands, his hands clapping together. It sounds like a gunshot.

Mother stands in the doorway meekly, licking her lips in a nervous habit.

Griffin crawls out of bed and puts his feet on the cold floor. He stands, his nightshirt catching on a burr on the bedframe.

Father grabs him by the back of his shirt, and it takes everything in the boy not to whimper. Father is in his work coveralls still, smelling of oil and dirt and alcohol. His nostrils flare, and his bushy eyebrows hide the glint in his eyes.

"Have you taken money from me?" Father's tone is dangerously calm.

Griffin squeaks in alarm, his feet scrabbling for purchase as Father, with his great strength, lifts him into the air.

"Have you taken even a goddamn penny from me, boy?!" The room rattles as Father yells. Mother tugs at Father's arm.

"No," Griffin chokes out, clawing at the neck of his shirt.

Father tosses him to the ground, and Griffin skids across the floor, colliding loudly with a shelf. A book tumbles to the ground, and another one hits him painfully on the ear, and an hourglass shatters next to his foot.

Sand pours out, filling the cracks in the wooden floor.

Mother kneels next to him, tugging on his ear. "Griffin, you tell him the truth now," she says evenly. He breathes in the scent of her: firewood and earth and lavender lotion.

Griffin eyes his mother, and she nods at him. He remembers when he was nine, and he'd bought her a periwinkle from the flower girl on the street. She'd been angry, but he hadn't understood, because it was just one coin. And he'd earned it. Running a letter across town.

But money wasn't meant for him, it was meant for her. For Father.

"I--" Griffin started, but his throat closed up.

Father yanks him to his feet, takes a fistful of his hair, and pulls him from his room. When Father lets go, they are all three in the kitchen, the fire sparking in the corner still. Griffin shades his eyes from the flames, his eyes not adjusted for the light.

Father smacks the kitchen wall loud enough for the crack to echo in Griffin's head. "Don't you dare lie to me."

Mother presses her thumb sharply into Griffin's collarbone, which might afar look supportive, but from up close feels very uncomfortable. Griffin looks into her face, and she stares grimly back at him.

His body shudders as he realizes what he must do.

He did not take any money.

"I took the money."

Mother did.

All Griffin hears then is the ringing in his ear as his Father takes his first hit. He forgets everything else after that. The only things he can't forget is the soft padding of Mother's feet as she leaves the kitchen and climbs into bed, and the way the blood from his mouth drips onto the floor in a sticky, fire-reflecting puddle.