disconnected
i look around me
and i see them all
talking
laughing
happy to be sitting together.
i laugh along too
even though
i didn't hear
the joke.
i feel so disconnected,
like i am not supposed to be here.
but how could i say that
without hurting someone's feelings,
without offending anyone?
it's not you,
it's me.
but that would only
make them feel worried
about me,
and that is the last thing i want,
to be a burden
on someone's shoulders.
nothing is wrong.
i just need some alone time,
a good book,
a cup of warm tea,
and everything will be fine.
Love’s Reprieve
I anxiously wait for her,
As I do every night at this time.
I close my eyes trying to produce an image of her,
But she decides when she will be seen.
I do not know why she has chosen me,
Or what exactly would happen if I were to have her all the time.
All I know is she consumes my thoughts,
I long for her in ways I have for no other.
Her arrival is always the same.
A welcoming smile,
Matched by a refreshing kiss.
I never know how long she will last,
I take advantage of all I am given.
My hands travel her body,
As if relearning every curve.
I hold her close,
Breathing her in,
Making her mine.
She begins to tremble underneath my touch,
She knows what is awaiting her.
She feels my pent up masculinity,
Begs me to give it to her,
All of it.
I want nothing more than to be rough and punish her for making me wait,
But the warmth between her legs shows me that she has waited just as long.
I bring her to me,
My hands lost in her dark hair.
I sacrifice her neck momentarily,
As I make my way down to her hardened peaks.
Her breasts fit perfectly in my hands,
A reminder of how delicate she is.
My mouth moves down her abdomen,
Slowly and with intention.
I open her legs further to expose the gift that is just for me.
With each stroke of my tongue,
I consume her fully.
Her back begins to arch as she lets out a pleasure filled moan.
She calls out requests,
Lustful urges for me to be inside her,
Ones I could never deny.
As I approach her,
I notice her eyes have gone from a playful flirtation to sin driven.
Her desire for me is empowering,
I take control of her in almost barbaric ways.
Tantric positions,
Saturated bodies,
Aggression filled with lust.
For every minute that passes,
I make it worth her stay.
She is exhausted from her multiple releases.
Her body is unsteady and completely satisfied.
I fill her with everything I have.
Brushing the hair from her face,
I find her lips once more.
I search for meaning to all of this in her eyes.
All I find is the happiness I just brought to her.
She smiles up at me.
Touching my face,
She whispers “I love you”
With those words she is gone.
I tell myself when she leaves that this time will be the last.
I need more than the sporadic attention she provides me,
I am quite capable of having more.
However, I choose not too.
I have tasted her temptation,
Grown addicted to her love,
And so I wait for her arrival once more.
She is love’s reprieve.
© Drea Alexandra
