Just how did I get here?

In this type of relationship

At this point in my life

I really thought I was

the driven serious type

who would not get trapped in

this kind of living.

Living with a man, my husband

Can I really call him that since

I barely even know him?

Though that is newly unearthed

information. I only just found

out that I'm living with a

stranger after deciding to do

some investigating.

We met, fell in love, said some vows, got married. I say 'we' but who am I kidding, should've stayed eagle-eyed and cautious of evil as I had originally been from the beginning...I got

myself caught like a bird locked in a cage with a complete

stranger. Only now in deep thought with worry piling on worry, GASP! My goodness, Father God I utterly regret it.

Not waiting on you to send the right one, that is.

'Cause right now, all I can really say is Who on earth did I, not too long ago, marry?

“Okay! I think we should leave.” I said. “Get ur stuff ”Dad replied. We walked towards the car and got inside. It was 8 in the morning. I was all in business attire for the Model United Nations conference. This is the only club I find joy in and that is educational. So sorry I did not introduce myself. I am Maiytreye. I am 13 years old and live in Richmond VA. This is getting awkward so let's go back. After he dropped me off I saw a lot of old desi people in front of the highschool exercising. I waved goodbye and started walking towards the door.

After getting in I could not see anyone from my school so I walked towards the stairs like Gauri had said. Gauri is the person who started the club at our school, a 7th grader. I met people as i saw them come through the back doors of the school. I greeted them as they came in. I was feeling nervous as always but I put a smile on my face to hide it. I was looking for ruqquah and then when I saw her come in it was such a relief. Ruqquah is my best friend. Well, she was. So as people started to gather around the cafeteria Ruqquah was stressing over what to say. It was her first conference and she did not have a speech. I was sad and trying to act mature. Then I noticed a strange guy staring at me. And when we met each other’s gaze he would start looking else where. Suddenly a girl came up to our table. Her name was Asiya she was Ruqquah's family friend. She had known that guy. We chated a bit about the position papers and stuff. ”He looks fine” I whispered to Ruqquah. “Who does” Ruqquah asked. I slightly pointed at him. Ruqquah was awkward out. “Bro! You are here for a conference not to stare at boys okay! And he does not look good he has a such a long nose ” Ruqquah whispered back. “Look, I was not staring he started it ok” i said. He then came up to our table he started to talk to asiya. He looked at me twice. I looked at my phone while he did. In fact I was very loud. After the committee sessions past by we were at the closing ceremony. We were the first ones there. So we got into our seats. When I saw him come in He was sitting behind on the other side so he could keep an eye on me. Then Gauri made us move seats. After doing so I saw him come to the seat in front on the other side. So I begged ruqqah to let me side on her seat so i could see him more clearly. I did not like him. It was just i wanted to prove that he was staring first. I looked behind and told Ruqquah that look at him if he stares at me. After the ceremony ended we all got out of the seats. Some one slightly pushed near him but not exactly. Apparently he was not paying attention. I wanted him to but oh well. Then when I got back I got ready and went to bed. Then I looked out the window at the moon. It was quite. Everyone was asleep. I was asleep thinking of how I felt like he was someone to me when in real life he was a complete stranger.

The metropolis smoldering

it’s glass and iron valleys

funneling the people

towards servitude

The inner machinations

grind the herd

into acquiescence

and inquietude

Mindlessness erupts

like a pathogen

that hungrily consumes

the gathering crowd

Unaware of the mountebanks

and trusting subjective truths

they fail to notice the wizard

standing behind the shroud

Seven seas and countless mountains circumvent the globe. Far stretched fields and highland hills clothed in grassy robes.

Snow topped peaks and hell bound pits give much to search and find, an artist’s stroke on every turn; His autograph there signed. 

Yet all that lies and fills the space holds nothing to compare, the captivation of your glimpse no sight has been so fair. 

To seek for more than distant look puts brave men’s pride to shame, yet risking pain involved in shun one dares to ask your name. 

What’s found is more than might expect from such a daunting catch, beneath these pools of crystal specs a lovely soul to match. 

While most good things there to explore and further venture in, prove their imperfections true; mere shells of white-washed skin. 

To you that rule does not apply; exception marks your steps, for truly you are greater still beyond what meets the eye. ​

I'm just telling a fan's story on FanStory.

Some people find it interesting,

Others find my skill lacking.

Got me questioning myself like

Maybe I can't hack it.

Let me repackage and pack it up.

Cause a little more racket.

You can't silence me.

I've spent too many quiet years

Trying to find my voice.

I just turned 30 last year

And I'm just now finding my pace.

Let's cut to the chase.

If they like me, it's because I'm authentic,

And the way I think, makes these words move

Gracefully and fitted like they're doing calisthenics.

They tried to count me out,

But I'm not finished, not even halfway done.

Don't take me too seriously, I'm just having fun.

From puns to sentences that run from the subject

Of me trying to prove myself to be

Something of a pundit.

Yawn at the thought of defeat.

Pawn my patience to pay my bills.

Short-term solutions creating long-term issues.

That's what comes when you're

Looking for instant gratification.

Talking to the discredited, discarded, dispirited

Denizens of the demimonde.

I made it alive so now when I touch back

I'm looked at as a Demigod.

Only for critics to say,

I'ma big fish in a small pond.

"So you're really nothing special, son."

Whether I have one dollar or a million,

You will always know me as just Moine.

I wanted to write,

from the heart,

which has yet to wither,

through seasons.

This does mean,

One is left with,

A wedge of doubt,

that sits in between

the love & pain.

Question arises,

do i leave,

do I still feel,

the way i felt,

about things,

then yesterday.

that wedge sits,

nerves tangled round,

doubt seeping through,

deeper and deeper,

Until it would seem,

I have sunk into,

my own misery,

reminded that doubt,

doesn't hold true,

not when you hold,

reason and the means,

to be true to yourself,

for one minute at a time.

you slept with your head on my shoulder

on the bus back from a party

i covered your eyes when the light came on

your head hurt and it was late

i'm trying not to bring my neuroses into this

or the guilt i feel for liking your smell

i dream about kissing you almost every night

which is only half the truth

it's how i say i think about it so much it follows me into sleep

i want to touch you and be near you

i want you to tease me and i want to address this poem to you

i don't want the air between us

it feels thick and slow and i don't need to breathe

i'm allowing the insanity to set in

being rational and cautious hasn't changed much

so i'll sit next to you

i get sick, but you know that and i don't care

i want something badly

and i'm not going to shut it down this time

i want you stupidly

When you awaken

from your slumber

I wonder

What spell will you

have been under?

From the stream

of sentience

all have drunk,

and seeped in,

as many flavors

while strolling

out across

sprightly

scented

corridors...

Yet no one knows

who made the punch,

So many cooks

in the kitchen

trumpeting

all at once!

None's too sure

of the ingredients

Pray...

what recipe

is floating,

and how will

we know

it is done?

21 FEB 2023

"Maybe also that Very Interesting Information(Info.) and News from Around that World. And Perhaps for example."

"[And Maybe also that Particular?] "Good Morning, News: New Shelter Locations Revealed, an "Imperfect" Cop Contract, and How to Support the People of Ukraine

The Mercury provides news and fun every single day—but your help is essential. If you believe Portland benefits from smart, local journalism and arts coverage, please consider making a small monthly contribution, because without you, there is no us. Thanks for your support! GOOD FRIDAY MORNING, PORTLAND! It's another chilly, sunny day with a high of 49, and rain returns Saturday night and into Sunday. It's also a good day to enter any room like..." [Perhaps for example. Maybe, 'So-Called'.]

www.portlandmercury.com

thatchezbrandon

[In addition, and Maybe also that Particular?] "Entertainment News - [And Perhaps also those Particular?] Celebrities, Movies, TV, Music - CNN

View entertainment news and videos for the latest movie, music, TV and celebrity headlines on CNN.com." [Maybe for example. Perhaps, 'So-Called'.]

www.cnn.com

thatchezbrandon

[Moreover, and Maybe also that Particular?] "Definition of INTERESTING".

holding the attention : arousing interest… See the full definition". [And Perhaps also for example. And Maybe also, 'So-Called'.]

www.merriam-webster.com

thatchezbrandon

Image

[In addition, and Maybe also that Particular?] Beach House - Space Song (lyrics)

Space SongBeach HouseProduced by Beach House & Chris CoadyAlbum Depression Cherrylyrics[Verse 1]It was late at nightYou held on tightFrom an empty seatA flas...". [Perhaps also for example. Maybe also, 'So-Called'. Perhaps Not about then. Maybe approximately about then. Perhaps Not about. Maybe for example.]

www.youtube.com

thatchezbrandon

Image

[Perhaps also that?] "Rob Zombie - Dragula (Official Music Video)

REMASTERED IN HD!!Official Music Video for Dragula performed by Rob Zombie.Follow Rob Zombie:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/robzombieofficial Twitter: ...". [Maybe for example. Perhaps, 'So-Called'.]

www.youtube.com

thatchezbrandon

Image

[And Maybe also that Particular?] "Belinda Carlisle - Heaven Is a Place on Earth Lyrics".

"Heaven is a place on Earth with Lyrics Hope You Enjoy It:)". [Maybe for example. Perhaps, 'So-Called'.]

www.youtube.com

thatchezbrandon

"[Maybe that Particular?] Definition of GOOD

of a favorable character or tendency; bountiful, fertile; handsome, attractive… See the full definition".

www.merriam-webster.com".

"Maybe also that Very Interesting Information(Info.) and News from Around that World. And Perhaps for example."

"[And Maybe also that Particular?] "Good Morning, News: New Shelter Locations Revealed, an "Imperfect" Cop Contract, and How to Support the People of Ukraine

The Mercury provides news and fun every single day—but your help is essential. If you believe Portland benefits from smart, local journalism and arts coverage, please consider making a small monthly contribution, because without you, there is no us. Thanks for your support! GOOD FRIDAY MORNING, PORTLAND! It's another chilly, sunny day with a high of 49, and rain returns Saturday night and into Sunday. It's also a good day to enter any room like..." [Perhaps for example. Maybe, 'So-Called'.]

www.portlandmercury.com

thatchezbrandon

[In addition, and Maybe also that Particular?] "Entertainment News - [And Perhaps also those Particular?] Celebrities, Movies, TV, Music - CNN

View entertainment news and videos for the latest movie, music, TV and celebrity headlines on CNN.com." [Maybe for example. Perhaps, 'So-Called'.]

www.cnn.com

thatchezbrandon

[Moreover, and Maybe also that Particular?] "Definition of INTERESTING".

holding the attention : arousing interest… See the full definition". [And Perhaps also for example. And Maybe also, 'So-Called'.]

www.merriam-webster.com

thatchezbrandon

Image

[In addition, and Maybe also that Particular?] Beach House - Space Song (lyrics)

Space SongBeach HouseProduced by Beach House & Chris CoadyAlbum Depression Cherrylyrics[Verse 1]It was late at nightYou held on tightFrom an empty seatA flas...". [Perhaps also for example. Maybe also, 'So-Called'. Perhaps Not about then. Maybe approximately about then. Perhaps Not about. Maybe for example.]

www.youtube.com

thatchezbrandon

Image

[Perhaps also that?] "Rob Zombie - Dragula (Official Music Video)

REMASTERED IN HD!!Official Music Video for Dragula performed by Rob Zombie.Follow Rob Zombie:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/robzombieofficial Twitter: ...". [Maybe for example. Perhaps, 'So-Called'.]

www.youtube.com

thatchezbrandon

Image

[And Maybe also that Particular?] "Belinda Carlisle - Heaven Is a Place on Earth Lyrics".

"Heaven is a place on Earth with Lyrics Hope You Enjoy It:)". [Maybe for example. Perhaps, 'So-Called'.]

www.youtube.com

thatchezbrandon

"[Maybe that Particular?] Definition of GOOD

of a favorable character or tendency; bountiful, fertile; handsome, attractive… See the full definition".

www.merriam-webster.com".

I heard the whispers from silent hills, a shrill sound from a violin screeching through the mist, as butterflies flutter over trampled tulips, struggling with spectres, wrestling in my shadows, the night fall wears many sullen faces, sulking in corners where a sundered sun would sing of merry things, adagio twilight blocking out all the sound, stealing the night away through the fog, spectres they plot - needle to soul, with spurn and rot, where silence wears a mask from ivory that glow.