Carved out of midnight ice

     crystal drops on brow

     frost congealed soul

     snow sullied by drops of blood

     pounding to discover

     what lies fallow under numbness

Carved out of midnight ice

     chilled heart stops its beat

     glacial thoughts in quilts

     numbed by life

     Siberian existence

     frigid blocks of ice

Carved out of midnight ice

     sun hefts its rays

     sky melts in tears

     crawling out of snow bank

     brushing off chilled rawness

     warmth flickers thawing skin.

Everything I do,
I’m scared to death it resembles her.
Everything I knew,
Was a lie instilled by her.

Everything I am,
I’m scared to express because of her.
And everything I’m not,
I blame it all on her.

She possessed me, infested me.
Strangled me until I couldn’t breathe.
She enjoyed abusing me, using me-
Until I couldn’t tell between reality and abnormality.

Now I know what’s normal,
But it all feels so distorted.
She stole my thoughts and soul-
My childhood, my ability to grow.

She birthed me,
For the pure purpose of destroying me.
She raised me,
For the entertainment of watching me suffer.

Please tell me, what type of a mother, 
Could abuse their own son and daughter?


She was the one who was supposed to nurture and guide.
The one whom we could trust and confide.

To love and protect,
Not destroy and neglect.
You laughed at my dreams,
You took away everything that meant anything to me.

It took so long to see the truth-
That it was never my fault, it was always you.
You may have tortured and dismantled me,
But you have never and will never take away the good in me.