It takes me 20 minutes

to wash my face every night

1. Benzoyl Peroxide

2. Tretinoin

3. Clindamycin

4. Moisturizer

5. Lip balm

Am I a real girl now?

I spent 2 hours

learning provocative dances

because boys like that shit

and a boyfriend is

step 1 to fitting in

Am I a real girl now?

I went skiing

and on the lift

I complained about the cold

and my skin

and how fat my jacket made me look

Am I a real girl now?

I choked down

half a teaspoon of vinegar

to speed up my metabolism

because that's what models do

Am I a real girl now?

I look at my phone

and pretend someone's texting me

(when I'm really just playing word games)

Am I a real girl now?

I giggle

and used the words 'like' and

'hot' as much as possible

Am I a real girl now?

I heard you trash talk our friend

to a stranger

and I turned away

and kept on smiling

knowing I've been that friend before

Am I a real girl now?

Now my waist is the size of a toothpick?

And my sentences all start with 'sorry'?

Am I a real girl now?

I am in two of the high risk groups for this pandemic depending on which news source you are following. There are many older people that go the my church. I have asked after their health. Stopped having one drive me to the market. I pray we are all going to survive. Protecting others and ourselves.

The feeling of freedom was in the air

What seemed like 10 lifetimes of mandatory school was ending

The future was wide open

The ambition to be a fashion designer

To continue my life as an artist

Mom and me against the world

Onto the journey of a new town

Starting college

Even before self quarantine I didn’t go out much

Now my highlight is doing essential errands

Spending days wrapped up in the happiness at favorite band’s live podcasts and radio

The dogs are my comfort and support

I stayed with my musical taste from the past but I am now expanding

I worry for the many senior citizens from church

I wonder at people who believe this could all be a hoax

I fear the riots happening

I sleep more

I call my friends more often

Learning about 1918 influenza epidemic and it’s similarities to our current situation

I pray more

I am using Zoom to talk to Missionaries once a week for lessons

When this is over I hope rather than believe we will learn something from this time in our history

she is there for you, no matter what

doesn’t judge you

doesn’t put you down or deliberately hurt your feelings

she is kind and respectful to you

she is someone whose company you enjoy

she is loyal

she is trustworthy and willing to tell you the truth, even when it’s hard for you to hear

to laughs with you

she sticks around when things get tough

to makes you smile

she is there to listen

she there to comfort you when you cry.​

my friend ?****?

“sorry can’t say her name online :(”