Sit up straight, stand up tall, and learn to breathe.

In and out. In and out.

Feel that?

This is who you are behind the noise and the fear.

Why so serious? Life is not the situation room.

You're from Matawan, NJ.

Laugh. A lot. Especially at you. I'm laughing at you now.

And know that holding back your smile is stealing your joy.

Bank on you because you've got a lot to offer, but stay curious and be a student of life.

You'll do the latter anyway. You can't help it. But make the former a practice.

Listen.

Raise your voice in more ways than one. You need to be heard.

Screwing up is not failure. Its an opportunity to grow.

Find the lesson and learn from it.

Don't worry, you look fine.

Oh yeah,

Breathe.

Sincerely,

You in 10 years

Holding her trampled ego,

She walks out tall,

A potent love potion,

Her eyes say it all.

She will not prove herself,

To those responsible for her fall,

She will mend her tattered grace,

For her own soulful call.

Her heart is for her keeping,

Not a toy for all.

They can destroy her body to shreds,

But her soul will break through the wall.

To be rude to the man who cut in line

Who stands two feet in front of me

With an arrogant smile

Quite satisfied that he will get there

One minute before me

To be angry at the ignorance

Of the masses who don't know better

Who are willing to nominate a tyrant

Because they are being targeted

By those promising everything

But secretly know nothing

To be devastated by the violence

That is on our tv's

And is created by our dollars

At the movies and the taxes

That we pay

I choose not to be

Not to be the one 

Perpetrating such ugliness

To fan the flames of retribution

And pour gasoline on those 

So rotten from hate

For being rotten on the inside 

Is its own punishment

Even if they won't 

Consciously admit it 

Wrath decays your heart

And late at night

They have to listen

To the voice that whispers

That their selfish motives

Will be the downfall of mankind

So, I choose not to be 

Not to be anything like them

Otherwise I can't

Look my child in the eyes and know

The world I am creating for him

He was thinking

That lies came to his lips

Faster than they used to

And he wondered

At what moment

He became this way

He was thinking

That he used to listen

For birds out the window

Try to identify them

By their chirp

Now he only hears 

The heater turning on

When he is staring at the wall

He was thinking

That it was all his thinking

That changed him

And he wondered

At what moment

He locked himself away

His smile never seemed

To touch his eyes

And so he went outside 

And shut his eyes

And waited

For the next bird

To fly by

“I was the boy who cried wolf when I said that I loved you” 

When I met him I took his breath away. His heart beat faster whenever he held me. For so long he didn't think I did anything wrong. Once we reached our comfort he wanted to spend time with me all the time. I was confused. Who is this man who loved me so; what do I do with this? But he kept at it. Kept loving and swooning.  So when we separated I was really confused. How do I let go of this gem? This man who took his time loving me? 

It felt like I ripped my heart out and left it behind. I kept looking back searching for it. Eventually though, I worked through most of the heartbreak but I couldn’t imagine something like this happening again. It seemed like a rare phenomena. Then I ran into a song from a long time back. I had a summer romance with this very nice guy. For some reason while we were talking he told me he still had feelings for his ex. So I x-ed the situation. A couple of months later he wrote a song. When I listened to it then it was of no consequence. But to this day the line that got me was the hook, “I was the boy who cried wolf when I said that I loved you.” Love? What does he know of me to love me? Because he said those words I dismissed it, a hyperbole to make the song, truly. Love is more complicated, love takes time to flourish. No? 

But today 5 years later I listened to it. I listened to it and for the first time I heard him. I had this before too, but I was so insecure I could never see that possibility as reality. How can someone fall in love with me? I haven’t jumped through any hurdles. Aren’t there extra steps  that should happen, isn’t love complex? How can someone have such pure sweet thoughts?  After all I was not the pretty girl. So I walked away from him without looking back. Not because I didn’t want him. I just didn’t believe him. So his words were right on the nose, to me any man who tells me he loves me is the boy who cried wolf. 

Today I see it. I see my insecurities.