She thought she could give without receiving, but there's only so much you can give until there's nothing but an empty carcass.
Betrayal is a dish best served to the unexpected.
"Hello, how are you doing today? Did you find everything okay-ish?"
Life is nothing but a handprint on a dirty window.
Sing a song of melancholy; it makes the time go by.
There IS a light at the end of the tunnel... some tunnels are just really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, REally, reaLLy, R e a l l y long.
survival of the fittest
If the amount of years
and drops of tears
give you fears,
you still shouldn't give
your will to live;
and to yourself?
Hatred is a plague
that starts off vague
and will slowly begin to drag
all your joy
in it's awful ploy
your sense of worth
and your purpose on earth.
But with your rebirth
a new time has come
where the earth will drum
to your soul's new hum
and you will fight
with all your might
within your plight
all they have contrived.
to stay alive
Everyone who said that seeing the love of my life for the first time was going to be "one of the most romantic moments of my life" was wrong.
I was walking down the hall, hair in my mouth as I stared at my textbook cramming for the upcoming calc test when I completely slammed into a locker. Down I fell, book falling and scattering my notes all over the floor, textbooks in my backpack slamming into my lower back since I refused to use a locker, and my hair being slammed into the back of my throat, making me gag. The gasps I heard all around me followed by a mysterious figure hoisting me up so they could attempt to give me the Heimlich as I choked on my hair was - what I thought would be - the most embarrassing moment of my life. My vision was black as I continued to choke, unable to pull the hair out of my mouth since the figure's arms were in front of my arms instead of under.
Suddenly, I found myself in the nurse's office. To my left was Nurse Feldman - someone I knew a little too well with my accidents - in his infamous rolley chair. On the right, however, was a new face I hadn't seen yet. This brown-eyed blond hair beauty was staring straight at me... a little too focused as he wrote on his notepad.
"Armon, stop staring at the patient. You make them feel uncomfortable that way," Nurse Feldman called as he kept his focus on the computer in front of him.
"NURSE Feldman, lad. Nurse. Feldman. Otherwise, I feel too old." Armon tried to hide his smile after being chastised by the head nurse, but he couldn't hide it from me. Nurse Feldman turned from his computer, looked at me, and shook his head in disappointment. "Dannie... What are we going to do with you? You keep getting worse and worse." I tried to give him an innocent smile, but he shook his head at me once more. After showing him some semblance of disappointment in myself, he cracked a smile.
"I'm sorry, Mr... Nurse Feldman.. sir, is this a frequent patient?" Nurse Feldman broke his gaze from me and looked at Armon.
"Yes, this is Dannie. She's one of our regulars. Be it bullying, accidents, or strokes of luck, she makes it in here at least once a week." Armon stuck his hand out to me. I slowly extended mine, which he gripped a little too tightly to shake.
"I'm Armon! I'm an intern!"
"Armon, you're a little too excited. You're in a high school nurse's office, you have to be stern." Armon sheepishly pulled his hand from mine, making me realize that the butterflies he made from touching my skin weren't disappearing. He continued to smile.
"Nice to meet you, Armon... I'm Dannie. I'll probably be seeing you often..."
"I hope so! It seems I'll learn a lot from you!"
"Armon! No flirting with the patients!" I could feel my cheeks getting red, but it looked like his were too. We stared at each other, knowing this was going to be a very interesting semester.
I was always told
to keep my head above the water,
but succumbing to the pain
feels so much better.
I was always told
to submit to my husband,
but that told me
i always come second.
so i will keep my head low,
yet bow down to no-one
until someone comes along
and unlocks the heart
i hid away
A Rough Night
Once again I found myself back at the old diner, watching the misfits like myself walk in.
Denise knew me by name, order, booth, and schedule. I always came into the diner at 12:39 am and darted to the booth in the left corner of the L-shaped diner ~ it was the best place to people-watch ~ and ordered a mocha with some chocolate chip pancakes. Every once in a while Denise would come sit with me in silence and watch as I wrote in my journals, but she would mostly be catering to the others.
There was Jason: the homeless dude who was always granted a warm cup of coffee and a leftover muffin; Connie: the owner's daughter who would sit near the door on her phone until her friends arrived to pick her up, then take her away until 5 when she got back and pretended she never left; Beverly: the underpaid teacher who always sat in the booth next to mine and graded papers while humming offkey to the radio; and last, but certainly not least, we had Gizmo: the cook with the inappropriate humor and whole-bellied laugh.
Tonight, though, brought something I would never expect.
The door rang at 2:15, indicating a new customer. Looking up at the fourth intruder of the night, it turned out to be someone from my school... his name was... Damien? Devon? Deevaugn? Something like that.
Hands in his pockets and long black hair covering one side of his face, he surveyed the cafe until he saw my table, then began to walk towards me.
This isn't part of the night. This is wrong. My blood began to feel hot, my routine ruined for the night and therefore bringing my body a sense of danger.
"Excuse me, sir. You need to wait for me to seat you," Denise demanded as she stepped between my table and this boy. He looked her up and down, then looked over her shoulder at me.
"Looks like my party is already here, though," he retorted.
"Boy, I suggest you wait," she demanded again as she stepped forward, trying to force him to back down.
"Denise, let him through," I called out. Everyone looked up at me, shocked at hearing my voice. The boy took this chance to slide past Denise and fly over to my table before she could stop him. I slowly closed my journals and stacked them on the corner of the table closest to me up against the windowsill. He took off his black trenchcoat and folded it, setting it down so he could have a layer between his black jeans and the booth's seat.
"You're a hard lady to track down," he jested as he grabbed the menu from in front of me.
"Why are you here?"
"Straight to the point. I like it." He set the menu down and locked eyes with me. "You've done nothing on our project. I know you're still going to school digitally, but I'm not getting an F because of your negligence."
"I've done tons of work on it, I just haven't transferred it over yet."
"Let me see it." My blood went from boiling to ice cold in an instant.
"Let me see your work. It's due in two days, I'm not letting you do all your work tomorrow night if you haven't done it yet." I felt my anxiety rising, my breathing getting irregular, and my body shaking. Before I knew what was happening, he set his hand on top of mine on the table and everything went numb. I felt nothing. No paranoia, no fear, no anxiety... nothing... I looked back up at him, realizing he hadn't stopped looking at me.
"How... how did you do that?"
"Do what?" I shook his hand off mine and all my feelings came back. Looking up at him once more, he put his hand on top of mine again and even the voices stopped. Everything was silent.
"How do you make everything stop?" He looked down at my hand and turned it over, beginning to massage my palm with his thumb
"That's for you to find out," he said gingerly with an endearing smirk. And before I knew it, he was walking out the door, trench coat flowing being him.
... I need him.
Terror in the streets
"I don't understand!" I cried. "Why are you doing this?!"
"Because you will never understand, Janie," Chase retorted with a snarl. "You've always played it safe... and now? You'll pay." With that, he swung the cell door shut with a loud BANG and stormed out of the basement.
I looked around, trying to see if I could find a out. Pitch surrounded me in this dank, foul-smelling place. I tried to remember how and why I was thrown into this place, but my mind kept drawing blanks. Yanking on the chains around my wrists, I found they were loose enough for me to slide my wrists out. Slowly, I made it to the door that was slammed so hard it was slightly open. I teased the door open, ensuring the metal didn't creak during my escape.
With my wrists in balls, I climbed to what would hopefully be my freedom.
Definitely a start
"Don't you think it's enough?"
"I'm not sure what you expect from me... But I can assure you I'm far from finished."
"Jeez, Chel. Just look. Look out there. What do you see?"
"I see a civilization being built. I see progress coming to fruition after years of anarchy."
"Well. I see the hungry going hungrier and the poor growing poorer. I see the endless ruin that will only get worse if this keeps up. You're making an entire class of people your enemy."
"Phase 2 of my plan comes soon, Devon. You can either join me, or you can stay on the sidelines like you always do."
"That's not fair."
"What's not fair is that I'm making a difference. I'm finally getting out there and helping people! And what do you do? Sit in your pretty bedroom all day! Thinking that the old system still works. Well, it doesn't, Your majesty. It doesn't."
"Chelsea, you know that this is insane... And you know I can't let you get away with this."
Switched at Death
She couldn't be touched.
No matter how close Haley got to people, how much she screamed and cried, no one could see or hear her.
It had been like this since she died thirteen years prior; car accidents are no joke. However, Haley was now forced to watch her sister become older than her. The 21st birthday was the worst, though. Watching her younger sister take her first drink, not a tear in her eyes surrounded by friends as Haley was the only one to feel the blow of being the same age as her younger sister.
Now, her sister was turning thirty. Surrounded once again by her friends, but also her loving husband and two kids with a third on the way.
This was supposed to be my life, Sarah, Haley muttered as she sat on the steps, watching the merriment below her. Why did I let you drive?
You think you can manipulate fate?
I couldn't see where I was going, only that I needed to get away. I could hear their voices in the distance screaming my name, begging for my return...
they don't deserve me. They don't need me.
The ground beneath me suddenly gave way, and I could feel myself succumbing to gravity's pull.
Down, down, down, d o w n
Then? Complete darkness. I could feel my body being dragged, but couldn't feel my bones that should have been broken at this point.
A low, deep hum filled my hears, slowly filtering through my body until a warmth enveloped me. I slowly felt as each limb, every bone and muscle waking up all until finally my eyes could flutter open.
Red and purple flames flashed around a dark figure crouching next to a fire. I tried to call out to it, but my voice caught.
"You're only playing with destiny," the creature muttered as the flames rose higher, almost as if the fire itself was speaking to me. "Are you sure this is what you desire?" I pondered what he asked, unsure of what they thought I wanted."For your friends to be forever unhappy. Are you sure this is what you desire?"
"They're not my friends," my voice croaked. "Why should they be happy when they betrayed me?"
"Hmmmm. Very well." The creature was suddenly next to me with flames encompassing both of us, so much so that it clouded my entire vision. Heat soared through my organs until I felt I was going to explode! Until....
Until I found myself at my own funeral.
My friends sat in the front row holding hands.
The nerve. How dare they show their love for each other at my funeral!
Their hands immediately parted. A smile rose on my lips. I walked to the front of my funeral to look at the attendance. But, the only two people I could see were my current enemies. Every other person was blurred in my vision. I looked over at the preacher who was speaking; they were also blurred out.
"You can only see your friends," the creatures voice whispered in my ear. "You may be able to influence their futures, but they are all you can see."
"Wait, that's not fair! Can I at least zoom it?" The creature laughed at a horrendously low timbre, rattling my insides.
"You think you can manipulate fate? I asked you if this was what you wanted. I gave you a chance to leave this realm."
"So... I can't leave until they die?"
"As long as they die unhappy, like you wanted, you may leave. Until then?
that one part of that one song
"I get overwhelmed so easily, my anxiety creeps inside of me, makes it hard to breathe, what's come over me? Feels like I'm somebody else."
"I get overwhelmed so easily, my anxiety creeps inside of me"
"I get overwhelmed so easily, my anxiety"
"my anxiety, m y a n x I e t y, MY ANXIETYMY ANXIETY MYANXIETY"