
My longing
corpse shall bless thy earth
Love shall stay in your heart forever
for which presence will be remembered by small things
like peanut butter cups or a butterfly
time has come
Friend death awaits for me
Soul travels far back to where it finds home
My,my,my,my,my I can't wait to meet again.
Books
I want to think of religion as fantasy books. Because with particular series of books, the fans of the books will push others to read their own favorite series sometimes without considering whether or not that person would enjoy it. Do I like it when the believers of a book bend its spine to appease their own judgment onto others? Absolutely not. But, will I say someone's belief isn't true? No, our minds are so powerful that each individual has control over whether or not that character exists to them.
What’s age?
I'd say I'm mid 20's, maybe 25. With my prespective of the world and personality, still childlike but with very grown up opinions on very stern topics.
Kickball
The bubbly giggles.
Herself as sweet as candy
A golden heart
Forever dazed in dreams of the future that it may hold
The rosery cheeks flustering as she smiles bigger
Engaging in playing kickball
Dashing down the bases to celebrating at home base
The ring of the bell says "Time to come inside"
She loved kickball.
New year
I'm letting go of uneeded grudges. The grudges that fall to no use over time. And I'm bringing a higher self love for myself. Growing to my fullest self. I'm gradutaing this year so the stress of picking the right future road is high. Every year I get a new inutition vibe and it feels like I have the answer inside I just have to go look for it. Something that I learned today is jewish folklore of Adam's first wife Lilith. And how she was made the same way adam was but Adam thought he was better than her. Lilith just wanted equality between them. I feel like she'd be a great feminist icon just with that itself. She didn't take a man bullshit and I respect that.
My journey
I may have money but I don't need it nor want it. Today you're going to tag along to my daily life. I wake up in my bus, it has all that I need to survive even during the winter, I have a very nice heater, and a generator on the outside of my bus. Today I'm going to check up on the town that I live by. I walk into the town and head into the library and see there is an author that's selling his new book about finacial advice. I go in line and pick up 20 of his books and I give him my card. He thanks me and I leave. I walk around the town handing out the books to some people living on the sidewalks. What they don't know is there is a surprise inside the book that shall bless them for the rest of their lives. Today the town has a meeting about the banning of books and what we should about our books. They argue how reading certain books will change completly change their kids for the worse. But, I don't think that's how stories work. I don't see every kid named noah trying to make an Arc for the future flood coming. I don't see girls killing innocent kids and saying that their in the hunger games. Or a boy thinking he's the son of zeus and is a demigod. Stories give the kids a way to learn lessons, and understand that they to have important lives because even the side characters save the hero. And you don't need money to make stories. You don't need money to tell them how to life their lives. You don't need money to...
Well this is gonna be awkard
"Hey Soph."
"Oh! hiiii, you have reeeaaalllly short hair!!"
"Yes, yes I do." I chuckle, then my younger self gasps.
"Did we ever get glasses like how we planned to get some?"
"Yes yes, I actually have contacts as well"
"ooooooooooo, Do you have a boyfriend???"
"I actually do, you'd absolutly adore him, we've been together for a year now actually"
"A year!! that's a loooong time, are you taller than him"
"Heck yeah I am"
"Yes!!! muahaha bow down coward!"
"I have something to tell you"
"What is it? Are you going to buy childlike things to help heal me? so you can feel like you've fufilled your childhood?"
"No no, not that...yet"
"hmmmmm is it the weird daydreams of making out with girls and guys?"
"Kinda, I actually have an explanation for that"
"You do! what does it mean? Am I ok? Are we ok?!"
"We're totally fine, it just means that I'm or we're Bi"
"Bi? Like Bicycle?"
"No, we like girls and boys and that's the term people like us use to tell other our sexual or romatic preferences"
"Oooh!! That's so cool!"
"It comes with a flag" I slowly bring the flag up infront of her.
"It's my favorite colors!!! Holy cow!! it's so pretty" My younger self comes and hugs me tight. "I grew up so well"
Now I try not to ball my eyes out.
Only if I
Only if I had saved her I would've been a better hero
Only if a criminal goes down on his knees I'll give mercy
Only if the government wasn't thirsty for power, my family would be happier
Only if I had to team up with my villain to take it down for the greater good
Only if I had some good damn breakfast and not some gas station breakfast sandwich
Only if I had more strength to get to everyone that's at risk fast enough
If only I was able to save everyone...
The paper in my letters
Our minds are like a mother board filled with digitalized files over filled with letters written by human tongue. There are some we'd burn so our sorrow can be lifted upon our chest. Letters that we'd bury within us like dirt so it can't hurt us any longer. And the playing cards we hold as we walk throughtout our days, the golden one. "I have a boyfriend"because men would rather respect a strange men that a woman. If only I remembered to take my cards with me that one day, when I came back home I had a heavy black letter. 7 year old me didn't understand so I dug it deep inside, then another letter and another and another and another. I felt as if I was swallowed, in a pit of blackness filling myself with embarrassment and sadness. I couldn't breath but I couldn't let anyone else know, they'd see me with disgust, they wouldn't be proud of me. I blamed myself. I felt like paper, thin with emotion, brittle with happiness, blandness covering my soul making me numb. My skin turning white as if I was drawn. Could you draw a smile on my face for me? But that was yesturday's letters, I've burned the black letters and now I will use my tongue to speak for my sisters and our mother and grandmothers and all the women past that. I know it's not all men but it's enough that I hold my breath every time a man walks by me. It's enough that I hold my phone tight whereever I go. It's enough that I hold my tongue. It's enough that my shoulders will decide whether I end up in an alleyway or a police car. It's enough that he can be a 10 and he's so nice so he couldn't have done it. This is my letter, made with tears, blood and sweat, I written it with my tongue of purity or you wouldn't listen. I written this letter without hurting you, but you'll still blame me for it all. So I have a question to lather on that newspaper, men, why do you want to be oppressed so much that you kill your own kind?
I’ll tell you what
Mythology/ mostly greek and Norse. A whole religion based on stories that people believed back then. Meaning if you sold people a believable story or fact they believe it's true so it becomes true in their minds.
Roald Dahl is the author that wrote my favorite childhood book BFG.
Veronica Roth the author of Divergent, helped me find books that I love which is the mostly dystopian world.
Alexandra Bracken wrote Lore my absolute favorite Greek mythology book.
Karen M. Mcmanus the author of One of Us is Lying gave me the classic breakfast club with murder, it's like the unknown cookie recipe that you never knew was an actual recipe. These authors helped me realize that if I had a story to tell, that I could tell it however I wanted it to be. Other stories give me ideas while the music flows in my ears giving me the motivation to continue the story.