Some scream evolution but I say hypocrisy. 

My grandmother told me stories of equality, of protests in the streets and even riots. Of parades that celebrated us, of laws legalizing love. 

"Equality" they said but they didn't stop there. 

Her stories which were filled with vibrant colors and affection when told to me as a child... changed. Like fairy tales we are told until we grow up to see the darkness those new ideals were conceived of.

The tales changed to lessons as my grandmother begged me not to come out as straight, for it would surly mean my death now. 

Be a good girl, be a good surrogate and find a nice lady to settle down with. 

My grandmother and her mother before her fought for those rights that took us over, that destroyed people like me.

Maybe my generation is the one supposed to fight back.

Because one day I want to tell my grandchildren beautiful and colorful stories of love. Of parades that brought people together. Stories that won't become fantasy.

But that's just a dream.

It's a little off beat, rant like and repetitive... but it's for a reason. 

In all honestly; he ruined her.

He didn't ruin her life, though he did come close.

But he ruined her down to the very core of who she was.

He took a fifteen year old girl and lied about it being his first time.

He took no, no, no as just push a little harder and she'll cave; she's going to say yes.

She did.

In all her innocence she was weak willed and he knew it.

Men like him always knew it.

Verbal abuse breeds sorrow and apologies.

But it's a vicious cycle you see; she didn't see though.

Day by day, event to event, and as one year turned to two; he stole her identity.

Congratulations! You took a strong willed young lady and drove her to suicide.

You broke her in ways a teenager such as herself shouldn't have been broken.

You took a section of her soul that can never be regained.

You helped start the process to bring a child into this world and laughed when that piece of you died too.

"You would be a terrible mother anyways" Echos five years later.

But in those five years without you, she grew up.

Gone was the seventeen year old girl you threatened.

She was gone, you stole her and she was never coming back.

Because of you, she changed everything about herself.

To be clear; i hate you.

To be honest... hate isn't a strong enough word

Not to describe what you did to me when you rejoiced in a miscarriage after threatening to rip my child from my arms when born.

But because of you i know what pain is.

I know what it's like to be in love with someone who didn't care about me at all.

You shook me, you stole my innocence but i guess it had to go sometimes.

To be clear; i will never not hate you.

But i had to appreciate what you did for my life.

You showed me what it was like to lose a baby.

You cried to manipulate me and then boasted about how you were the victim.

You showed me what it was like to have nothing.

To be isolated form my friends and family.

You showed me what rock bottom was and from that... I learned to survive.

I mourn my child every January and I think little of you.

Because of what you did to me i know what it's like to have you... and i know the difference between manipulation and love.

At seventeen years old i learned valuable lessons about myself which most people wouldn't learn until a few years later.

Because of you i grounded myself and grew up.

I didn't dwell on the petty immaturity because i didn't have effort for it.

I didn't have to go into the world and have my world shaken as a right of passage into adulthood.

To be clear; you are the worst person in the world to me.

But because you broke me, I learned to put myself back together without patchwork from other men.

Because you ruined me i had to rebuild myself.

And after nearing six years i have become the person i never knew i wanted to be.

Without you i don't know where i would be in life. Maybe I would have gone to college and chosen a separate career path. Maybe not.

To be clear, i hate you but i valued the torment you put me through.

I had to build myself back up after you. It took years but i did it and i was shown my strength. Because of you i have a lower tolerance for bullshit.

Because of you i am who i am.

Because of what you did i found myself in the broken pieces and am proud of where i am.

Your opinion of me means nothing to me, i feel nothing positive in my life for you. But i am grateful.

You were an experience and i learned early that not all of them would be positive.

Because of those two and a half years, i have these wonderful things in my life.

After years of effort i set myself free from you. You can hurt me anymore, i know who i am and it's all because you ruined me.

But that's okay.

I can look myself in the mirror and know that while i may have been a little unstable, i never broke you as retaliation.

And that is the greatest accomplishment that i look back on.

You ruined me, but you didn't ruin my life.

To be clear; i hate you.

But i don't care enough about you to let you ruin me now.

I've grown and that is the greatest feeling and best revenge.

So have your petty little drug addicted life and know that you may have awful lies to say about me, but i'm the one that dodged a bullet.

Thank you for breaking me.

Because after repairing myself i'm just who i want to be. 

In the beginning there was light, heaven and earth. The trees came to be, the animals ensured you would never be lonely. 

In a perfect world there would be harmony, balance.... peace

But not in mine.

On day one there was darkness to banish the light. The sky created a veil to blanket an empty world. 

Planets were next to show who was superior, for who other world could host the living i would bestow. 

The sea, this deep dark abyss needed creatures to fill the mortals nightmares. 

The birds fought for my amusement until they could no longer satisfy me.

At last I created humans to hate and judge. Blood for blood, fight for life. Every generation a source of my amusment as I watch for them to destroy the worthless beings and animals that were put on this plant to prove my superiority.

No matter the outcome, I win. For I am god; the best lie the heathens ever believed.

Outside I cry but inside I die.

A little more everytime I lie.

You never cared, you never tried,

Every day I lose a part of my mind.

Crazy, unstable, unsteady, insane.

To be normal, I try in vain. 

Words felt knife deep,

Afraid to function, afraid to sleep.

Blood spilled every night,

Instead of love, you chose fight.

Compassion is easy... or at least I thought,

But you know what to say to hit the spot.

Your word murder me,

Your actions are the key. 

Six feet deep,

People weep.

How dare you spy,

It's because of you they cry. 

Casket buried, oh God it's mine, 

All because you believed every "I'm fine." 

It was untrue,

and every one of you knew.

Buried beneath trees, 

I no longer beg you please, 

You never listened anyway, 

And for that I pay.

Up the trees climb the vines,

I really was never fine.