It is what it is. Obsessing over what you don't have is the key to unhappiness. This world is cruel, so I think everyone goes through rough times. Rather than constantly thinking of yourself as a "victim" though, you should eventually move onto being a "survivor." You may also have things that make up for it. For example, I don't think I deserved being bullied for a good chunk of my life, but on the other hand, I don't deserve my parents catering to me so much either. Thus, while I was a "victim" of bullying, I have good parents to help me get through hard times and continue to assist me in ways I may not deserve.

Regardless though, rather than worrying about what has happened to you or what you don't have, you should look towards the future and move towards what you want and need. Hard work eventually pays off. Use your experiences to create a better future for you, others, and the world.

If anyone wanted a wish granted, they were directed here. It was a small shop in the Red-Light District, with a garden around the shop. The garden was full of mysterious, peculiar plants that no one had ever seen before, plants of all colors, shapes, and sizes. They all looked very well-kept, and most of the plants gleamed with life. However, one set aside had a dark aura, and within a half meter radius around this plant, there was dead vegetation. Even the soil looked ill and rotten.

Perhaps this one-of-a-kind garden is what truly attracted the shop’s customers nowadays.

Whatever the reason, the place was booming with business. It’d come so far from the little stall that it used to be. It even intrigued the outcasts that worked here today, and with these workers available, it’s open 24/7, with one half of the workers working from 5 in the morning to 5 in the afternoon, and the other half of the workers working the rest of the time.

They were all odd balls, not exactly human although they appeared to be. There was the red-headed dragonborn, Kasai, who was most skilled in fire magic and weaponry, and the purple-haired dragon slayer of the shop, Yami, was also skilled in weaponry but excelled in dark magic instead of flames. Despite what one might think or what destiny should ensure, the two of them got along quite well, and they were always keeping each other on top of their game with their sudden sparring. Their intense gazes at each other, fiery eyes facing eyes as black as a black hole, was a sight to behold for any, and they sure lived up to their names of flames and darkness.

Regardless, the water mages with their blue hair and eyes - Mizu and Mizuo, whose names both have the kanji character of water - as well as the blonde leader and manager of the group, Jacob, don’t appreciate the sudden sparring, of course. Jacob demands they take it outside when they try to spar in the shop. It makes for an amusing show for anyone walking by and attracts even more attention to the small shop.

Two of the other workers were Tenshi, or angel, the Pure Mage, and Daichi, or Earth, the Mage of the Earth, who had a little sister who helped in the store. Her name was Kusaki, or plant, and she was the main tender of most of the garden outside, considering she was a Plant Mage. Unlike her brother with his typical brown hair and green eyes, one could identify Kusaki in a second with her green hair and bright, green eyes. However, the tender to the mysterious dark plant was of course Seirei, or soul or spirit, a purple-eyed dark mage who specialized in souls and the like. Her hair was long and silky black, giving her aura a mysterious air. Her glimmering, purple eyes held an even stranger aura, captivating to any who stared too long.

During the day, Tenshi, Kusaki, Daichi, Mizu, and Mizuo tended to the shop. All of them worked well together, so none of them could really be considered as a “leader” of the day shift. They also got the easier customers, the innocent ones who wanted a simple romantic reading or whatnot; they rarely ever had to deal with a difficult, or evil, customer. The day shift went smoothly, day after day.

The night was a different story, especially with Kasai, Yami, Seirei, and Jacob working. Those with ill intentions would come out at night, requesting for this or that for their evil plan. These four were much more equipped to handle these sorts of people, possessing more violent, oppressive, and dark magic. Of course, Jacob, being the boss of the shop and the very person who created the initial stall long ago, took on the leadership role of the night shift.

Occasionally though, some of them worked outside of their shift. Seirei only got a few hours of sleep, and she spent most of her free time making potions, dolls, and other magical items. Daichi spent a few hours of his afternoon appreciating nature and strengthening himself, as well as helping out in the shop. Kusaki spent her free time tending to the garden outside and doing whatever else she could do to assist.

Sometimes, Tenshi would have trouble sleeping, so he would go around on those nights, helping those who needed help. This often eased him from nightmares for at least a night or two. He’d stand out most in the night, with his blonde hair and blue eyes. It didn’t seem like he belonged in the night, with his radiance and angelic personality. Being the gentlest out of the workers at the shop, his coworkers worried about him walking out alone at night. He was also the only one who seemed troubled spiritually, which gave a far deeper reason for concern. However, Seirei had looked at Tenshi, but she couldn’t see anything abnormal in his soul. Being an expert on souls, Seirei’s diagnosis was sure to be accurate.

One day, Kusaki walked up to Tenshi, who was tending the counter with Mizu. “Tenshi-san,” she called, handing him a plant with a bright smile, “Would you try this for me?”

With curiosity, he took the plant and rubbed the stem between his thumb and forefinger. It had five big leaves outlined in red, filled in with a pale blue. It looked almost like a windmill. He sniffed it. It had a refreshing smell, made him feel a little at ease. (Perhaps a little too at ease. He kind of feels tired after sniffing it....) “What is it?” he questioned, his eyes a little dazed.

“I’ve been tending to it for a few months, and it finished maturing just this morning. It’s supposed to make nightmares go away. It’ll be best if you consume it today since its effectiveness will fade with time.”

“Oh, I see!” Tenshi smiled at her, “Thank you, Kusaki! So, I just eat it then?”

“Yep,” Kusaki nodded, “It should taste pretty nice, and it should be easy to eat and digest. That is, if there aren’t unnatural-” she added, but Tenshi was already chewing it with a perplexed look on his face. It tasted nice, but... something... felt... wrong.... Kusaki got a little worried, “What is it, Tenshi-san?”

“I don’t know...” he said after swallowing, “Something about it is-” Tenshi suddenly jerked forward, gripping his throat.

“Te-Tenshi-san?!” Kusaki’s eyes widened, panic and shock bubbling up in her system.

“Tenshi!” Mizu shrieked, panic immediately coursing through her veins. “Kusaki, what did you give him?!”

“It-It was just a Nightmare Blower!” Kusaki panicked, “I swear, it shouldn’t be dangerous! I grew it properly and everything! The only reason that it could possibly hurt anyone would be-” she was cut off by Tenshi’s choking violently increasing in sound. Kusaki yelped, holding her cheeks and running out to get her brother. Mizuo was out on a job today, which meant they were down a person.

“Is something going on?!” Kasai hurried in with Yami and Seirei, his head adorned in a bedhead. Thank God that Kasai was a light sleeper, and that Yami and Seirei were already up.

“What is wrong with Tenshi-kun?” Seirei asked with wide eyes, astonished at the scene unfolding before her. It almost looked like... Tenshi’s soul was being sucked out of his body...!

“Mizu, do you know what’s wrong?” Yami inquired, looking over his fellow coworker, pushing his panic down to effectively solve the situation.

Mizu shook her head in sorrow, and a shiver went up each of their spines. Mizu was the best at medicine in the whole group, even in comparison to her twin and Kusaki. Mizu could detect and heal problems directly, which was extremely useful for almost any illness. If Mizu had no idea what was wrong, the problem couldn’t be physical.

“Is it something spiritually wrong?” Yami and Seirei hurried closer to Tenshi as Mizu backed off to let them examine him.

Kusaki ran in, sobbing hysterically to her big brother behind her, “Nothing should be going wrong! Tenshi-kun is such a pure soul; why is this happening?! He isn’t corrupted!”

“Calm down, Kusaki!” Daichi worriedly rubbed her back, putting his sister’s panic ahead of his own, “Whatever’s going on, we’ll figure it out! Don’t worry.”

Jacob came strolling in with a serious look on his face, “What is going on? What is all this commotion about?”

“Tenshi-kun’s dying!” Kusaki shrilled in despair, and they all flinched at that, except Jacob, whose eyes were covered by his hair.

“Kusaki!” Daichi scolded, “Don’t say that!” Kusaki sobbed onto her brother, apologizing over and over again for giving Tenshi the plant.

Mizu was the one to calmly but worriedly explain the situation to Jacob, “Kusaki gave him a plant, a Nightmare Blower, and he ate it.... She keeps saying that there is only one situation where it could hurt someone...?”

“It’s a very rare plant,” Daichi provided solemnly, his green eyes dark with despair, “On any normal occasion, nightmares are natural productions of the mind. If they happen often, it’s typically due to some sort of trauma. There are those situations, though... where nightmares are not... naturally produced.... In that situation..., Nightmare Blowers..., they hurt the person who eats them to heal a supernatural nightmare issue.... Sometimes...” Daichi spoke quietly, his eyes shadowed by his hair, “Sometimes, the person even... dies,” his voice broke at the end. The others stared at him in horror.

“Are you... Are you saying...” Mizu’s voice cracked, her blue eyes tearing up, “That Tenshi’s nightmares are supernaturally produced, and that he’s going to...” she gulped. She turned away, not able to say the final word. None of them could accept the fact that Tenshi’s life was being taken right before their very eyes. Sobbing, Mizu hurried off to her room with her long hair following behind her.

“Jacob! Isn’t there anything you can do?!” Kasai fretted. Jacob stared seriously at Tenshi, who was turning colors. His pupils were unfocused and flickering rapidly.

“Kusaki, why did you give him that...?” Jacob looked dangerously at the young teenager. His face was shadowed with darkness, insinuating that he was furious.

Daichi protectively clutched his sister closer into his embrace, “C’mon, man, she didn’t know.... How was she supposed to know the nightmares were unnatural...?”

“He has them often, yet he’s never been in such a serious trauma. The nightmares have nothing to do with what has officially happened in his life; they’re vague and abstract,” Jacob insisted in the same low voice, his teeth bared slightly.

“She’s just a kid!” Daichi refuted desperately, “She doesn’t know stuff like that!”

Jacob wasn’t about to let her get off of what she just did on the account of ignorance, “Then she should look into it or ask one of us before giving something so dangerous.”

“She didn’t think it was so dangerous! Tenshi’s a good person; who would think he could possibly be corrupted?!” Daichi continued to defend his sister. Something wasn’t right. Kusaki already felt guilty enough having endangered Tenshi’s life, and instead of trying to help Tenshi, Jacob is scolding Kusaki...? That makes no sense!

“Jacob, please help!” Seirei insisted, fully feeling the panic induced by Tenshi’s time limit as she stared at Tenshi’s bared soul, “We can take care of precautions or whatever later! But Tenshi-kun is...!”

“He’ll be fine,” Jacob shot her down darkly, “Hand him over. I’ll take care of him in my room.” Seirei clutched Tenshi in her arms, wary. Jacob wasn’t acting normal.... None of them had ever seen this side of Jacob.... Was it really okay...? “Well?” he pried impatiently.

“...” Seirei hesitantly handed the limp boy over to Jacob. Tenshi had stopped choking during their argument, but his heart was still beating. There was no telling when it would stop though, especially considering she couldn’t hear Tenshi breathing.... She was worried. This wasn’t the time to be fighting. Tenshi’s clock was ticking.

Jacob was their last hope. No one else knew what to do.

Jacob had always been the smartest and strongest in the group.

Jacob could fix this. They were sure of it.

It’s just... he wasn’t acting normal right now....

Jacob walked into his room, demanding everyone get back to work. As he passed Mizu’s door, he heard her sobbing, probably into her phone considering it sounded like she was talking to her brother. He ignored it, glancing at the boy in his arms.

“That was close...” he muttered, examining the unconscious. Tenshi’s breathing was starting to kick up again, but he was long unconscious, and that wasn’t about to change soon.

Jacob’d have plenty of time to reclaim the boy, to make sure Tenshi was corrupted once more.

None of them knew it, but Jacob was actually the Magician of Deception, and he was planning to take the whole world under his control. He’d already gotten all of the Guarding Magicians under his control: the Water Twins, the Soul Magician, the Dark Magician, the Earth Magician, the Fire Magician, and most importantly, Tenshi, the Magician of Purity, and that meant that nothing could or would stop him from destroying the entire Earth.

Of course, he didn’t have any of them under his full control. That wouldn’t be any fun, if they all were just drones. He lets them keep their personalities.

Everything else, however, is all his, and soon enough, that control would expand to the whole Earth. Nothing will do anything without his will, and everyone shall bow down before him.

Perhaps he ought to hypnotize Kusaki as well.... Yes, that will be his next step in world domination. How troublesome she’s been today. It just proves how you can’t have an enemy living in your house; you need to control them all. She’s lucky it was the Pure Mage she almost killed, or he’d really be dead.

The reason the Nightmare Blower kills those with supernaturally-caused nightmares isn’t because that’s a side effect, nor does the Nightmare Blower have a lack of effect on supernaturally-caused nightmares. It’s because supernaturally-caused nightmares are ingrained in the soul, and most people can’t take the tearing that it takes to cleanse the soul of those nightmares.

Tenshi, however, is the only case where that is not so, at least on Earth.

As the Pure Mage, his soul is naturally white, and nothing could damage that naturally. It took a lot of work to conjure enough magic to control Tenshi. The side effect of that control, or even the tiniest tint of black, however, were nightmares. The darker Tenshi’s soul was, the worse his nightmares. Tenshi’s soul wasn’t meant to be pitch black, or black at all, after all; it wasn’t supposed to be tarnished. His soul is so pure, in fact, that it can cleanse corrupted souls, which is exactly why Jacob took control of him first. He couldn’t risk Tenshi cleansing those he’d already corrupted, after all. With Tenshi under Jacob’s control, Tenshi wouldn’t lay a hand on his coworkers.

However, Jacob isn’t exactly sure if his control over Tenshi is just a coating or if it was ingrained in his soul like the rest of the Magicians, but either way, Tenshi can survive the nightmares being ripped away from his soul. It certainly is hard on the boy, that much is true; he’ll probably be out for a week or so. Nevertheless though, he’ll live. That Nightmare Blower just rid Tenshi of the cause of his nightmares, Jacob’s control, which Jacob can fix easily.

Jacob set Tenshi down on his bed and smirked, his red eyes alight with devious desires.

Personally, Tenshi was certainly his favorite of the mages. He was so interesting, and despite his innocent nature, he was the strongest. It took a lot of work to become stronger than him, but Jacob accomplished it. They’re counterparts, destined rivals, so it was easier for Jacob than it would be for anyone else.

Luckily, controlling him should be easier this time around, but he should hurry. The longer the boy lacks his control, the harder it’ll get to make him his again.

Jacob fondly slid his fingers down the side of Tenshi’s face, his eyes tender for once.

It didn’t matter how many times the day Magicians insisted they had no leader, that they worked equally. Tenshi was the day leader, and it was meant to be that way.

Jacob brushed the back of his fingers along Tenshi’s cheek. His complexion was getting better. It wasn’t as pale white as Jacob’s anymore. Jacob’d have to fix that.

“We’re like brothers, don’t you think, Tenshi...?” Jacob leaned down and put his hand against Tenshi’s chest, his face only centimeters away from Tenshi’s and his blonde hair mixing with Tenshi’s. One could hardly tell which strands were whose. Jacob pressed his lips up against Tenshi’s, breathing his dark control straight into the unsuspecting boy. Once the transfer was complete, Jacob leaned back a little, his eyes dark, “And that’ll always be,” he growled lowly.

Indeed, it was far easier to take control of the other magicians. Jacob didn’t even need physical contact with them.

Now to take care of that troublesome plant girl.... He’ll request her assistance, in private, in order to take control of her. If Daichi resists, well, Jacob might have to take hold of his soul for a little while, ripping his personality away.

My name is Faith Zuber, and I am a 21-year-old Christian otaku (fan of anime, manga, etc.) that loves to learn, write, read, and draw. I have been writing since before I can remember (having my mother write for me when I was not yet able to write myself), but I've gotten a lot better in the past few years through writing on Wattpad under an alias, where I currently have 475 followers.

My favorite subjects are languages and biology, especially humans. Thus, I've always had an interest in similarities and differences across humanity, and I will soon be graduating with a Bachelor's degree in Japanese with a Studio Art minor and Creative Writing Certificate at UMSL (University of Missouri-St. Louis). I support DGO (Diverse Genders and Orientations) and thus have various types of relationships in my works.

I am energetic at my core, with a few mental disorders such as autism and ADHD. I prefer optimism, so in stories, I need some humor in between hard times and a positive ending. Thus, I normally implement those into my own stories. However, my writing can take a range, from very serious to quite childish. As an otaku, I also take more of a manga-type storytelling - thus using conventions such as hair covering/shadowing eyes.

My project is called The Deceiver of Souls. The piece I chose for this was a short story that I absolutely love, where a group of magicians run a store. Their products and services include magical items and spells. However, one of these individuals is actually a villain who has taken partial control over the others. Who is it, and what is that individual seeking to accomplish?

The genre is fantasy - probably dark fantasy, and the short story is almost 3000 words.

I'm terrible about age ranges, but the target audience is probably young adults, maybe 17-30. With my plan for the sequel, it'd probably be better to have DGO-supportive readers, but since I've made it so that the two novels don't actually need the reader to read the other novel, being DGO-supportive is not necessary to read the original Deceiver of Souls.

I've been told that there are too many characters to keep track of for how short this story is. That's why I decided to start making it into a novel, where I slowly introduce each character so that the reader can take their time to become accustomed to them. I think adding some pictures on certain pages, like in manga's novels, would also help with that.

Another important thing to know is that the novel has a different ending from the short story; Tenshi actually decides to spread out the magicians and separate the memories and soul of the deceiver, so that the magicians can defeat the deceiver in the future through descendants.

My project is a good fit because I've seen that you publish some fantasy stories and even graphic novels, as well as stories related to different cultures, genders, and orientations. I also saw that one of your literary agents posted that dark fantasy is a "hot" genre right now.

I'm not sure what you mean by platform? Is this asking for social media? The closest thing I have to an active social media account is actually Wattpad, which is a writing website.

No one speaks out against it.

They fear being punished for doing so,

That their hard work will go to waste,

Their words and work falling on deaf, stubborn minds.

They learn the hard way,

How not to try,

Just so they can balance it all.

They learn to work through it.

And since they learn, they forget.

They forget how it felt

To drown under pressure;

They forget the pain.

And they don't care either.

They're done with it;

They've passed.

What's the point of working to change it?

They don't worry about those who come next;

Changing a system so old isn't worth it

When they won't reap the benefits.

Those to come will learn just like they did.

But I urge you to fight.

Argue like you're supposed to.

Not for yourself, but for the future.

For your kids that you may not yet have.

It's too much.

We all know it,

Yet we're too scared to admit it

to the people who need to hear it.

I've done the math:

It's not feasible.

People have done the research:

It's not healthy.

The stress of us is far greater

than that of most jobs,

So why aren't we changing

the amount of coursework in higher education?

@LilyCamille @ddullahan @eMan @dominospice @DellaMetcalf @QQ

Thank you so much for entering my challenge, y'all!!! Although they were all amazing pieces that made me contemplate things in a way I hadn't yet, each entry had its own charm! You made it very difficult to choose a winner!!!!! >////< I realized through reading your entries that I hadn't been clear enough with what I was looking for(; I should've defined foresight for y'all), and I'll definitely make sure I do that next time.

For my thought process for choosing the winner, I really was looking for a specific idea held throughout the piece. Some of you held this despite my unclear challenge while others wrote pieces that didn't quite hit what I was looking for. Again, that's my fault, but the winner (and the person I chose to share in class) was chosen according to what I was looking for, not necessarily my favorite. (I'm terrible at choosing favorites, haha. ^~^' I decided to share that extra extry because I really felt compelled to do so, and I thought my class would appreciate it.) For those of you who are curious, I was looking for taking the past and applying it to the present to plan for the future, basically. A lot of you focused on just the future and what it could be like, which, again, falls on me. (This was my first challenge, so I knew I'd mess some things up, but whoopsies, that was a little bad!)

So, I'm so sorry that I was so unclear, >~>''' but I really did enjoy your works, so thank you again for entering my challenge!!!!! (It was also quite manageable to read them despite my college stress!)

I had considered being trans. I was even a closet trans for a while technically, a weird defensive mechanism against being gay, but I conquered my discomfort with being female, my dysphoria, along with my discomfort for all things LGBTQ+. I still considered being trans though, and ultimately, I decided that I wasn't about to decide now. I'd wait until I was at least twenty-five, maybe get a husband, and then I'd truly consider it. But that was not God's plan....

It was on a Tuesday, the third week of college. I thought it would be a normal day for me. I fell asleep like I always would, and I wake up to my loud alarms as usual. I felt off, towards my nether regions, and my chest, too, but I didn't think much of it, grabbing my glasses and putting them on. The off feeling I had merely made me uneasy at first, and I grabbed my phone, checking the time. I frowned, noticing it was already past five. I probably wouldn't have the time to go to the bathroom today....

That's when I noticed, though. I put my phone out of view, looking at my chest with eyes just a little wider than normal. I blinked, having to process.

My chest... was normally bigger than this, right?

I set my phone down and pulled my shirt away from my chest, peaking in.

Holy crud, I had no cleavage!! A flat chest!! I have a flat chest!! (Bless the Lord; I'll be sleeping well tonight with my boobs out of the way!!)

Bewildered, I stared for longer.

Ehhhm... I wasn't about to be able to hide this change, now, was I...?

(Unless maybe no one remembers me having cleava--oh!! I could wear something baggy!!)

I hopped off of my bed and grabbed a pair of shorts, taking it off the hanger and putting it on. I also grabbed a bra out of instinct, blinking when I did.

Ehmm... If I have a flat chest, even though I'm a girl... would I still wear a bra???

I decided against wearing a bra since it was the first time in a long time that I didn't have to, and I pulled my night shirt over my head and looking amongst the shirts I had in my room. Let's see... Let's wear Hideneki today!!

I retrieved my Hideneki shirt, taking it off the hanger and pulling it on, heading over to my door. I opened the door slightly and peaked out.

Good, looks and sounds like Dad's in the shower, and Mom and my brother are still in bed.

I headed out of my room and retrieved my Shingeki no Kyojin cloak from the banister, my lips curling upwards.

I always felt so cool in this, but I haven't worn it in a while since I normally need a jacket. (I get cold too easily.)

I clipped it around my neck and headed into the bathroom, looking at myself in the mirror.

Hrmmn... I'll have to be careful. My cloak can cover my breasts--err, lack of, but only if it's completely shut.... I can't just be holding the two sides together all day....

I headed back into my room, closing the door on my way to my closet, and I opened the left side of it, where I had the shirts and cardigans that weren't anime-related.

Let's see; fall's starting, but it'll still be pretty hot, and I'll be walking all around campus.... I shouldn't wear something too hot, but...

Hmmn, I wonder if my Kaneki jacket would suffice.... I could simply wear a tank top und--no, wait, that would be too hot....

I frowned, staring amongst the few clothes that I considered more fancy.

I could wear my male shirt with drago--no, that's not what I'm looking for; I'm looking for something baggy!!

I grimaced.

Can something baggy even BE something not hot?!!

Ah!!

My eyes opened wide instantly when I came up with an idea. I rushed over to my dresser (this is absolutely the worst time for this to happen...!! I already woke up late!!) and opened the drawer that held my cosplay, scarves, and the like. I grabbed the scarf that came with my favorite tank top, throwing it on. I looked down at my chest and shifted the scarf slightly. Perfect!! It covers my chest!! I might as well still have breasts!!

I headed to the bathroom just to make sure before going through my daily routine.

It's weird though. My nether regions feel off as well....

Glancing around again as I put my toothbrush to my teeth, I pulled my shorts and underwear away from myself with my left hand.

Understandably, I spit and almost choked.

I slammed my toothbrush down, closed the door as much as it would close, and pulled my pants and underwear down.

Silence followed.

My lips slowly curled upwards at the sight, and I tried not to shriek.

OH, I WISH I DIDN'T HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL TODAY!!! I COULD JUST GO BACK TO MY BED AND DO ALL SORTS OF THINGS TO FINALLY QUENCH MY CURIOSITY---

A little chuckle left my throat.

My smile vanished, and I blinked.

I coughed.

I let out a deep, opera-like noise, and I squealed for a second in delight, laughing afterwards and cracking up at my own new laughing. It sounded even deeper than normal!!

But ahh, I shouldn't be laughing so loudly since my voice sounds so different---!!!

I snickered through my nose, trying to calm down.

(I wonder how long I'll be like this.... Hopefully a day, at least!! What a waste it would be for it to go away too soon....)

I cleared my throat and picked my toothbrush back up, brushing my teeth and not bothering to pick my shorts and underwear back up.

Ahh, what a delight...

(It should've definitely happened to someone else, though.... Someone who would really appreciate it, like Ken or his brother....

That said, though... how long will it last?? If it only lasts a day... wouldn't it actually hurt a trans person, because it'd merely be lost within just a day...?? They'd be longing for the same thing to happen for the rest of their lives....)

But, I guess I shouldn't dwell on that.... It only happened to me (unless this sudden reversal was worldwide...). No use dwelling on what could've been. I should merely try to use this sudden change for the best.

(Should I cut my hair? What about my new reproductive system? What should I do about that?? Is it visible??)

I glanced down as I finished brushing my teeth. With the shorts I was wearing, which were quite baggy, it didn't seem very visible....

I turned the faucet back on and rinsed my toothbrush, spitting into the sink.

I should probably stay home, actually.... There's no way I can keep a facade up all day....

With that reminding me as I put my toothbrush back, I tried to speak with a high voice.

It sounded more like my normal voice.

I yawned, pulled my pants back up, and headed out of the bathroom, walking towards my parents' bedroom.

Me with a "shrilly" voice all day definitely won't hold up. Speaking with a high voice hurts my throat. That hasn't changed, despite that my "high" voice is now more closer to my normal voice.

(And anyway, with me being home, I'll be able to quench my curiosity to my heart's content...!!!)

With taking the day off as my intention, I walked straight but slowly to my father, who had just gotten out of the shower not too long ago.

"Hey, dad...?" I spoke, trying to sound under the weather while still keeping up a "shrill" voice, "I'm not feeling good at all today...."

(That is such a lie....)

"I think I better stay home..." I gulped, holding my stomach.

(I'll just stay in the bathroom until mom and dad leave.... Unlike my brother, having puked so many times in my life, I'm an expert at it, so I should be able to make it believable....)

"Really? What's wrong?"

"I don't know..." I sighed, "As soon as I woke up, I just felt terrible.... I feel well enough to walk around a little bit, but I don't think I should do it too much..." I supported a reasoning for me being in here.

"Okay, go ahead and stay home.-"

Yes, success!!

"-I hope you feel better."

I gave a weak smile, "Yeah, thanks..."

Like a hermit, I slowly walked back to the bathroom and closed the door, both proud that I'd been able to do that but also guilty that I lied so badly.

(But, I do need to stay home....)

I propped the toilet lid and--whatever the part was called that you sat on--up and sat down.

(I forgot my phone in my room....)

I sat there for a while, until both of my parents left. I wasn't sure what to do about my brother though.... Hopefully, he works today....

(I should still eat and take my medicine though, that's for sure....)

I got up off of the floor, lowered both of the toilet lids, and descended downstairs to eat and take my medicine. I personally wasn't in the mood to eat right now though....

Regardless, I emptied my water bottle, put a new one in the fridge, and took a cold one out, settling it in my water bottle holder. I took my medicine and walked back towards the kitchen, looking around. Let's see... yeah, I'm not in the mood to eat anything right now, um....

Eh, it'll be fine....

I headed into the bathroom downstairs, propped the lids up, and closed and locked the door. I then turned the fan on.

I can stay in here until my brother wakes up. In the meantime... let's drink some knowledge....

And that I did. I quenched my thirst of curiosity, and I went through the day just fine. I was able to fake still being a girl for the day, and I went to sleep in peace (although a male reproductive system is definitely more unfortable than a female's.... I guess that's why girls have boobs: to even out the discomfort).

It was the next day that I actually panicked.

I was still a man.

I smiled weirdly at myself for a little while after waking up.

(I don't think I'm gonna be changing genders any time soon.... I better fess up. I can't just manage faking my new gender until it goes away, if it ever does....)

(I definitely don't wanna see my dad's reaction that I'm a guy now....)

But my dad's in the shower.

So I can just tell my mom.

I headed over to my parents' room with only my night shirt, socks, and underwear, and I woke my mom up.

"Hey, mom? Mom?!" I spoke in my "normal" voice, which was now deeper than my original voice, "Mom!!"

Finally, she woke up, "Hmmn, what is it...?"

"It's me, mom." I then spoke my name unsurely. She blinked her eyes and looked at me.

"Why are you speaking with a deep voice...?"

"Umm... you know I felt sick yesterday...? Well, uh... this might be why..." I gestured to my nether regions. She looked down at my nether regions and looked back up at my face.

"You're on your period...?"

"... No, mom... I, uh... I'm a... I'm a guy now..." I averted my eyes awkwardly with a slight shrug.

"... What?"

"It just happened over night.... I woke up, and I was like this...."

"What are you talking about?? You're trans??"

"UMMM..." I didn't know how to answer that. Technically, I'd been a closet trans for a while, but that was a few years ago, before I even knew what trans was. I'd been plenty comfortable with my own gender for a few years now.

But now I'd changed genders.

"Maybe???" I replied, "I mean, I'm a guy now, so... but it wasn't my choice!! It just happened overnight...."

Maybe this is God's way of saying that I can be a man.... That he loves trans people just as much as anyone else.... (I'm glad for that. That's the main reason I don't want to be trans....)

"What are you talking about?!!!" she sat up.

"I'm a guy," I stated plainly, not understanding why she wasn't understanding. Maybe she was in denial, like when I told her those dangerous kinks of mine....

Or maybe she needs evidence.... This ain't a phase....

I pulled my underwear down to show her. She stared in horror for a second or two before her eyes lifted back to my face. She shrieked.

"What did you do?!! When did you do this?!!!"

"Huh? I just told you, I didn't do it!!" I tried to reason with her as I put my underwear back, where it was covering my nether regions.

(Looks like she may be accepting of others being trans, but not her own daughter.... Nice to know how she would've reacted if I'd gone through with being trans....)

My mood soured, a frown deepening on my lips.

I'm a man now, so I guess I'm really gay now. And my mom wouldn't accept any of this....

Assumably, my father reacted even worse. It didn't matter how many times I tried to tell them that day, that it wasn't my choice, that it had happened overnight, that I was just a guy now, they wouldn't appear to listen. My brother was confused but far more accepting. Dinner was still tense though. Like a division of the parents from the kids, I felt.

It never really changed. Although my parents still loved me, I could tell that my new gender made them uneasy.

With this as the final jar of fuel, it wasn't long before I traveled to Berlin, to stay. My parents called regularly, but my gender was forevermore a barrier between us.

I was a new person in Berlin, although I kept my long hair that now reached my butt. I found that Berlin was quite accepting to me, just as it had felt that week in the summer, before my first semester at college, and I was also accepting of myself. I felt very comfortable as a man in Berlin, and I found someone who was willing to love me despite all of my faults. I wasn't able to have children, but perhaps that was for the best. Ultimately... I don't think I'd have it any other way.... I truly found myself as a man.

Figurative language will often fill our world with colorful ways of communicating something, but at the same time, it can be very misleading. If you don’t know it’s figurative language, and what it actually means in the context, you’re bound to be confused.

But you know what’s even worse?

When you’re meaning something literally.

“No, mom, my nose is running!!” I screamed into my phone, desperately gripping the spot where my nose used to be. It had just plopped off while I was talking to my mother, and now it’s running off on the tiniest of legs at a speed that shouldn’t be possible!! My mouth is fully conscious of the blood that’s dripping down from that spot, and the metallic taste that registers in my brain only makes this more real.... What a nightmare!!

I guess I really shouldn’t have answered the phone at the shrine.... This must be my punishment...! My nose had been runny all day because of my allergies, but this is far worse!! I’ll never complain about my allergies ever again...!!!

I’ve nearly tumbled down these numerous steps quite a few times already, and I still am not even halfway down!! Maybe I ought to just lunge for my nose and allow myself to roll down all these steps....

Distracted with my mind desperately grasping at straws in order to catch up with my nose, I wasn’t able to catch myself from tripping all.

The way.

Down.

I swear, my shrieking could be heard from hundreds of kilometers away.

But by some miracle, I was able to grab my nose despite tumbling down the countless steps like a hamster in its wheel. In all honesty, I think my nose froze in fear, but I must be going crazy.... I guess I have a story to tell my kids now though, when figurative language became all too literal!!

Obsession takes many forms, but ultimately, if it takes over your life, it's most likely an obsession.

With that, I suppose I have an obsession.

I have given him my entire life, and I have always put him ahead of myself, even from the very first time I offered myself to him so long ago, that time I reached out for him, offering my hand in his dark world.

We're much older now, having far more difficult problems than just friends or even how we're being treated. Our problems are far more complex.

Well, I say "our," but really, I've adopted his problems as my own.

I worry about him day and night. What is he doing right now, as I stare up at my ceiling? Is he alone? Does he feel like the only person in the world?

Even when I talk to others, he's the only person I can think of. How is he feeling? Are others treating him right? Is he sick, or injured?

I can't stop.

Even now, with him by my side, available at any moment, I worry. Does he hate me? Does he love me? Does he want me to let him go?

I know that this is wrong. It's unhealthy, for the both of us. It's vile.

But I am far too worried... to let him go.

I can't let go.

Someone is bound to hurt another in their lifetime.

It's inevitable.

What's wrong is when one intends to hurt another.

You can kill;

You can destroy without meaning to.

But when you've done something with the intention of causing pain,

That's when you've crossed the line.

One should keep their pain-inducing imaginations to his or her self.

I have fought so hard.

Now I can't see right.

I see my humane best friend.

-From the other's perspective-

He's in so much danger:

He isn't in his right mind;

He has fought too much tonight,

And just beyond lays the biggest wall.

He is so broken;

He's been through too much.

I've been here watching,

But now, I need to intervene.

I warn him of the dangers,

And I express myself and my opinions.

Just because he doesn't care enough about himself

Doesn't mean that no one cares about him.

I've always been here with him,

Even though I have given him space

For the past two years.

And I won't leave him here today either.

He's hungry, I know it.

And I don't mind.

I would do anything for him;

I love him.

I move in

And kiss him,

Despite that he can't stop himself

From doing what he's tried so hard to prevent.

For you, I will risk everything.

Use my smile, my love,

Take it and run with it.

Save yourself.

I offered my life to him.

I gave everything to him.

It'd be a "stylish" death,

But I'm still alive, and watching over him.

I don't like this teacher.

I want the old teacher back,

The one she replaced,

So I will refute her when I can.

None of them understand me,

How hard it is for me.

I'm almost completely blind,

Yet one of them talks about how she has retinal damage.

I don't belong here,

Nor do I want to be here.

I see no wrong in my actions,

So I will continue to argue.

I want everyone to like me,

So I'll try to be as witty as I can.

I'll make puns,

And mock what others often mock.

When another even mentions Fort Nite,

When others talk of anime,

I should make a comment,

As if they've mentioned the worst thing in the world.

They'll like me then, right?

They understand it's a joke.

There's no problem with my actions,

So I will continue to act this way.