If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off by now. If the earth was flat, middle aged drunks would have accidentally wandered off the edge. If the earth was flat, an abundance of Americans would have jumped off when they found out Donald Trump was our president.

A faded glass it's contents none

Covered with fingerprints and sharp cracks

The object tainted as it's heart is done

The pure water it sure lacks

Now he walks in with a jug

From the back of the cupboard he pulls out the glass

Ignoring all of the polished cups and mugs

Why he decides to pour it in there instead one may ask

He pours in the water slow

But it leaks out from the cracks

Until the jug also empties one may know

That no supply lasts forever in a world of black

Maybe the glass just can't be filled

The pourer will pick another glass

But it wants that sweet water still

Before it breaks as the time shall pass

Will the glass that's been through every endeavor

Be empty for always and forever?

Okay, I get that we all go a little bit crazy when bad shit happens to us. Believe me, I get it. But when it starts affecting your business and your customers, you better shape up.

I don't CARE if Beachman divorced you. I mean, I guess I'm sorry or whatever that he hooked up with Palmtreeman, but that ain't my problem.

Ever since you went batshit, Sandy, you decided to give everyone NIGHTMARES. Thanks to YOU, my little Timmy can't get images of David Bowie's crotch bulge chasing him all because he dreams about it EVERY NIGHT.

Not to mention how I keep having dreams about spiders, clowns, my ex-wife, ghosts, the inevitable heat death of the universe, monsters, penguins, my drunk uncle Kevin, haunted houses, dolls, Donald Trump, psycho killers, and airplane peanuts.

It's been a LITERAL NIGHTMARE!!!

Sorry Sandy, I will now go to Dreamy McDreamface Incorporated for my services.

PS: I don't blame Beachman for dumping you. Who'd wanna keep you around with THAT haircut?

PSS: Enter Sandman by Metallica is no longer my favorite song.

First things first, and most important. Without this, these tricky words are as meaningless as the red orbs outside every Target store.

You have to mean it. You can't just say "I love you" to get in someone's pants. You can't say "I love you" just to hurt them intentionally later. And, the most tricky, you can't just say "I love you" just to gain their infatuation that you can't return.

People misuse these three words so often that they are becoming less and less valid. Trust gets lost in these trusted words everyday by lies, cheating, and leaving supposed "loved ones" in the dust.

If you feel you truly love them, and not out of jealousy, toxic attachment, or lust, then your words shall come from the heart. So stand up straight, look them in their beautiful eyes, and say the words. Go get em, Tiger.

I bet you didn't like poetry

Because the teachers made you pull each poem apart

Instead of enjoying them

The rhythm and the cadence

The humor and the tragedy

The rhymes and the repetition

All overshadowed by the need to pull

These pieces of art apart until they are torn

I bet you didn't like poetry because you saw

Too much of the meaning

Instead of creating your own

Find a poem.

As you read it,

Simply feel the words flow through you

Like an endless breath of air

Let the pattern of words surround you

Let the rhythm sway you away like your favorite song

Don't tear yourself apart coming up with a meaning for it

The best things in life don't have one concise meaning

Just enjoy it

And perhaps your mind will change

It was a tiny fib

That's all it was

It paid me off well

So I tested the risky waters

Once again to stretch the truth

It started off as exaggerations

That turned into full blown lies

They all piled up like rotting garbage

That just sat and grew

With no truth to pick up the pieces

The person you see is not really me

The person you see is made up of all of lies

As the piles couldn't hold themselves up anymore

The truth became distant

It hurt too much to face

So I let the garbage of these lies bury me

Until I can't breathe anymore

Dick Tickler

Hugh Janus

Lil Weenur

m3th k1ng

Jack Ca$$

Dum' E

Big Igo

Phil Mahooters

$tati0n w4g0n

Boo T

Hoped that helped :)