Like a skydiver whose

parachute failed to open

or an astronaut whose

rocket never made

it into space,

my dreams had been

painfully broken

and a tragic ending

was mine to embrace.

At that moment not one

single word was spoken

nor did any tears of despair

stream down my face.

I took with me only

rejection as a token

and for days stared

disconsolately at the

rose she refused to take.

You are mine, I will 

     not share

I will take you 

     everywhere

I will keep you 

     locked away

Now and then come out 

     to play

You are there for me 

     to know

There's no one I need 

     to show

If I let you in the

     the light

You just might give them 

     a fright

Once they knew then you 

     would die

Turning truth into 

      a lie

So instead I'll keep 

      you safe

I will always hide 

      your face

This way you will be 

      just mine

My secret til the end 

      of time.

Now

Slowly

Take a breath

And bow your heart

Before the altar

Of Peace and Love Divine

Where unsightly sins perish

At the Holy Touch of Most High

Throne of Grace and Mercy eternal

Bidding sons of men come to Joy untold. 

Im sorry I didn't help you enough

I'm sorry for when I couldn't be tough

I'm sorry for things I haven't spoken

I'm sorry for any promises broken

I'm sorry I couldn't stop what hurt you

I'm sorry I didn't have a bit more virtue

I'm sorry that I chose the wrong guy

I'm sorry all he could do was lie

I'm sorry I couldn't be there at school

I'm sorry I couldn't find the right tool

I'm sorry you had a fucked up father

I'm sorry for you he couldn't bother

I'm sorry our life has been such a mess

I'm sorry if I didn't confess

I'm sorry for the places we've lived

I'm sorry for anything I couldn't give

I'm sorry you didn't have any more

I'm sorry we were always so poor

I'm sorry for the times we were walking

I'm sorry I didn't hear you talking

I'm sorry I couldn't give you your dream

I'm sorry my son, sorry for everything.

Doubt

Self doubt

Hurts so much

Never helps us

We need to fight it

We have to bannish it

We need to overcome it

If we overcome it we're free

If we overcome it's victory

Self doubt is an enemy we can fight

We have to approach the enemy right

We have weapons at our disposal

There are weapons that overcome

If doubt hits you just don't run

Stay there and face the fight

Fight until you win

You have the strength

Banish doubt

Win

Like a moth to a flame she was drawn

    It swirled and mesmerized

    Whispering sweetest lies

It gave her new life til the dawn

It was a dragon she needed to chase

    It beckoned calling her name

    Promising glory and fame

A puff, a pill, sorrow erased

The dragon would fly out of reach

    Her body would break

    Her soul would quake

She needed a bite of it's rotted peach

It chased the laugh from her eyes

    She couldn't smile

    Not for a while

The dragon just ignored her cries

Desperation drove her to chase

    She wanted that nectar

    Tho it meant disaster

Her family she couldn't face

A boy thin as willow, head on her pillow

    Blue eyes that stared

    She wasn't scared

He tossed up the sheet, made it billow

The dragon ruled over their love

    Often evasive

    Changing it's faces

Even then, her boy fit like a glove

He held her as that dragon stalked

    She trembled and shook

    Poison flowed like a brook

With the dragon she walked

Knock on door brought what she's looking for

    With swirling smoke

    And one more toke

Fever broke but her body was sore

The dragon ruled all that she was

    Her boy grew weary

    Her life dreary

He tired of chasing her buzz

Boy with blue eyes held her and cried

    Implored her fight

    Make things right

But the dragon kept her hands tied

Boy left her alone, outside the sun shone

    She dropped to her knees

    Begged someone please

But no one would pick up the phone.

I would rather you remember me as

What I was to you.

In that way,

I'll live on as a man of many things.

Was I a good person?

Well, only if I was good to you.

Was I cool and composed?

Well, only if I never let myself break down in front of you.

Was I brave and courageous?

Well, only if I never ran when you were there.

I don't want to be remembered as

What I think I was

But rather as

What I really was.

Corseted 

by fate

and circumstance

misunderstanding

may further muddle

one's prospects.

In the end

Love

makes equal

fools of us all.

Purity resembling the color white,

Clean and unblemished like virginal snow.

Where innocence and decency unite,

Captivating with a hypnotic glow.

Blissfully flawless and unpolluted,

Radiating blinding saturation.

Wholesomely honest and undiluted,

Surviving free from adulteration.

Exquisitely and impeccably chaste,

Bestowing subliminal affection.

Immune from animosity displaced,

Occupying transcendent perfection.

Sovereign safety from myriad woes,

Undamaged by hate from they who oppose.

We worshiped salt and sand, 

stars and smoke. 

We ran down dirty streets

and stumbled into daydreams. 

We found, for the night, 

purpose for our once aimless hope.