For a time I believed in all things cookie cutter and pre-conceived;

Making plans and staying on the straight and narrow,

I absorbed their ideology, was molded by the church,

Became the man that fought with the grain rather than against it,

I loved a nation that was forever tinted by nostalgia and a King James mentality,

But eventually I grew up, as some people choose to do,

A poor decision for anyone looking for the happiest route to the pyre,

I developed a kindness that my family would be ashamed of,

I fell in with society’s vagrants and was quick to call them family,

I learned fast to love hard and take no apologies,

I found that regrets were wasted time in a story that needs no transcription,

I gambled a bit, lost a lot, and never stopped to thank my liver,

I stood up for what I knew was right and fought even harder for what I thought to be right.

I barely broke even, and for a while I just survived.

Now I may not pray for suburbia these days,

Hell, I may not pray at all,

But I still chase morality and value the few that became closer than blood,

I still ache for a destination I’ve never known, even while doubting the idea that we’re ever meant to settle,

Truth be told, I find the journey far more poetic than any pre-packaged American dream,

And the madness along the way is by far the one thing I believe in most,

I may never have meant to be this person, but sculpting a life out of regurgitated theology and good intentions was someone else’s dream to begin with,

A bullet I’m glad to have dodged.

If a Chinese Party Official declares the Communist Party was correct in cracking down on protestors in Tiananmen Square in 1989, does this mean he finally admits the Communist Party cracked down on (murdered) protestors in Tiananmen Square in 1989?

The transformation of charity into a legal entitlement has produced donors without love and recipients without gratitude - Justice Anthony Scalia

When Bernie Sanders complains that it used to take less than 400 hours of minimum wage labor to pay for a college degree, but now it takes over 4000 hours of minimum wage labor for the same outcome, it is almost as if the federal government began heavily subsidizing student loans and grants at that same time. Coincidence. I think not.

If Joe Biden begins sniffing Christine Blasey Ford's hair, is it because her hair actually smells that good, or because she can keep a secret for 30 years?

Light traveling faster than sound explains why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

To apprehend a criminal suspect who despises the United States, police have begun playing the National Anthem and not a siren when in close proximity. When the American hating suspect takes a knee, it eliminates the need for a foot chase.

Liberals: A successful economy is one that works for everyone.

Conservative: A successful economy is one that everyone works.

Did Jeffrey Epstein's mother write his suicide note? Mr. Kotter wants to know.

If you win an election with a campaign slogan of, "We're going to impeach this mother f***ker", should you act the whiny crybaby when the same person says you are free to leave the country you hate and smirks when another country you hate (Israel) will not let you enter? Linguine has a stronger spine, even when wet.

Q: If, on a first date, you are asked "What is your sign?" should you reply,

1) Whatever you believe will make her happy

2) The truth, because honesty is the best policy

3) "Twinkies" for when she replies that is not real, you can counter with, "none of them are" and save legal fees from an avoided future divorce.

If your name is Tu Youyou, are you the most difficult person in the world to wish happy birthday to while singing?

Does anyone remember paying increased property taxes to fund schools, before the internet, because the consensus of bureaucrats in the Department of Education believed stupidity among school age children originated from lack of easy access to information?

Do alien abductions always occur at night because alien children inform their alien parents, just before their bedtime, that they need a few humans for a project at school in the morning?

Q: Which worries the parents of you children more?

1) The sudden sound of absolute silence when once there was noise.

2) The clear and distinct cry of "Fix Bayonets" and then silence.

If a dog owner throws a stick an incredible distance of two miles and his dog retrieves the stick (even more incredible), was the entire story a bit far-fetched?

Why didn't anyone ask for reparations during the Obama administration?

If a heart doctor will pronounce you dead when your heart stops, why won't an abortion doctor pronounce you alive when your heart starts?

Q: How many deaths have to occur before you, as a firearms owner give up you guns?

A: How many rapes have to occur before you, as a man, undergo a castration?

Why doesn't a single restaurant have a menu for normally price entrees and entrees you can order at 50% a larger price for when your girlfriend says she is not hungry, but you know she will eat most of the food off of your plate menu?

When you suffer from ED (Excessive Dishonesty), try LIAGRA before testifying about illegal servers, Benghazi, a spouse's infidelity, $100 million dollars of missing Haitian relief money, and 56 closest friends who have died from suicide. Experts agree!

Isn't it funny that when Democrats investigate a Republican for two years, none of the Republican's accusers died of an unexpected suicide tomorrow?

Dear Tlaib and Omar,

Why are the two of you so upset? No one took you seriously. It wasn't a ban. It was somebody in Israel (a country you said did not even exist) suddenly did something.

Sincerely,

Karma

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work - Thomas Edison

President Trump tweeted, without using names, and four morons rose to complain. This means the shoe does fit.

Q: Why proper English important?

A: If you ask the hotel manager that you want the porn in your room disabled, do not be surprised if he calls you sick because all of the porn in the hotel is regular.

Q: Why proper English is important (Part II)?

Hillary Clinton: Believe me, voting for Donald Trump in 2020 would be a huge mistake!

Me: I don't think I could do that.

Hillary Clinton: Voting for Donald Trump?

Me: No, believing you.

Q: Why is the United States of America the greatest country in the world?

A: Even the people, who hate it, refuse to leave.

Obamacare - It only works if you don't.

Q: What should you do if you cannot afford healthcare?

A: Go to the airport. Homeland Security will give you a free X-ray and breast exam. If they think you are a terrorist, your colonoscopy will also be free.

When you are drunk driving, make sure you listen to Def Leppard. This way you can mimic the drum solos and still keep one hand on the steering wheel.

If Hillary Clinton wants the firearms industry to be held responsible for shooting deaths, should the computer industry be held accountable when someone has an illegal private server with classified documents, hacked by America's enemies, and lies to Congress and the FBI about her involvement?

Isn't it funny that Elizabeth Warren often complains about the cost of attending college, but forgets that she was once paid $400000 for teaching one class?

They always think they're right.

Always.

Even when they hear your side of the story, they're already thinking of ways to prove you wrong.

It's unfair, really.

How do you march to them, head held high, chin up, when you're too afraid?

Afraid they'll come down on you.

Afraid they won't listen.

Afraid you'll run back to the safety of your room.

Again.

Afraid you'll cry.

Afraid your emotions will spiral out of control and they'll call you dramatic.

Again.

They always think they're right.

By definition, the individual is the smallest minority. Thus, those that claim to champion minority rights should champion the rights of the individual. No collectivization is required, desired, or necessary.

I will not hold my breath for such a utopia.

As an individual, I am accountable only to myself. If anyone breaks a law, I cannot be held responsible for the actions of others. I may look similar to the criminal, I may speak the criminal's language, we may worship at the same place or vote in the same way or find the same politicians repugnant and express similar opinions, but I am an individual, not part of a conveniently defined group.

I do not require your vocabulary to "identify" as an individual for I am an individual. It does not take a village for me to act responsibly. When I say I built that, I mean I built that. If I have children to raise, I will do so without forced assistance from others who want my cooperation in their flavor-of-the-month plan, program, or study.

I do not need to be watched or tracked. Metadata analysis is useless for a group of one. I have too little income, too little wealth, and too little time for you to want to know what I will purchase, the frequency of my actions, or the source of my motivations.

I read books or not, watch television or not, and may even lie to you if you become nosier than a cat is curious. It is in my nature to do so.

Or not.

So continue what you do and look even more stupefied when others do not subscribe to your point of view. Float ideas of shared responsibility and listen closely for the snickers of disgust and disdain when you lose elections. Keep your circle of yes men close and wonder if they lie to you as often as you lie to them.

I have a sense of humor. I also have scant patience for stupidity.

Too bad that last group always increases in size, but never outnumbering those who will not be numbered.