Candy sweet kisses

Linger on your lips

Floating on cloud 9

With hearts in your eyes

Ignoring the impending storm

Tumbling towards the earth again

Plummeted into darkness

upon impact

treat me like your favorite book

highlight and underline

all of my flaws and beauties

that you adore

dog-ear every body part that

you want to trace over and over

hold me close and

take me every where you go

My mom was raised hardcore Christian, which I can respect,

But if God doesn't love me, I don't want to have to love him.

She constantly tells me she feels bad she never took me to church,

But it'd be embarrassing when I fall asleep in the pews.

She asks me "you do believe in God, right? Because I want you to go to heaven with me."

"Well, yeah. Duh."

Mom... You're not going to heaven, if there is one.

She asked me yesterday,

"You don't like girls, do you? Please tell me you don't. I want you in heaven with me."

"No, mom. That's stupid."

I mentally apologize to my girlfriend.

"B-bisexuality.... Sounds like a liberal fad. Idiots."

"Yeah, mom. I know, right?"

I push my identity deeper down inside me.

"Look at this guy! Dressed all... Faggot-y."

"He... Does wear some ugly shirts, mom."

I cringe at the horrible word.

"Please don't tell me you're gay when you're older. I'd still love you, but... It'd be hard."

"Of course not. I'll have a husband by then."

It's hard now, mom. It's really, really hard.

"I love you," my beautiful girlfriend says.

"I love you too."

And suddenly it's all just so easy.

I steel glimpses

Like a petty burglar

Quickly shifting my gaze

Hoping no one notices

And those times

When your eyes

Happen to catch mine

My face blushes

And you smile

I want to hope it's mutual

But my self confidence knows better

So I settle

For staring across the room

the deceiving sun

grazes clouds,

cool air

drapes along my shoulders,

a gust of wind

fluttering, dancing

throughout my hair

shivers down my spine

when will the sun stop lying?

white knuckles mistake this merry go round for a race track

silk ribbons wave in the wind but they're faded and melancholy

your fingertips trace my cheek as I breathe in and raise my chin

melodies I sing caress the air the way my father touched me

your hands match his and though it's been ages I smell his breath

as you kiss my neck and warmth

isn't a comfort it's a cruelty

let me show you everything I know

I'm not like them

you're pushing me away from you

when you leave me

I wanna be outrageous

what's been happening in your world?

look at me, what have I become?

can't you see I'm trying?

I will never bother you

I'm sorry

It's so crazy right now!

Don't panic

Close your eyes and take my hand.

This is not my home

Got love if that's what you need

Hold on to me as we go.

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale.

Maybe I'm broken

I'm still trying to figure out how to tell you I was wrong

The city streets are empty now the lights don't shine no more.

I don't know how things got so bad. At first, Mom and Dad were still together, and happy. But then they started having fights... Bad fights. Dad started drinking too much, and smoking, and got fired from his job. Mom locked herself in her room. Dad slapped her when he got mad. Mom got depressed, and was fired from her job, also. And then, one day... They were gone.

I woke up to a gray morning. All was quiet. At this time, six A.M., Mom and Dad were usually up, yelling at each other. Only the patter of the rain on my windows could be heard.

I slipped out of bed, in my blue nightgown, and tiptoed downstairs. It was still silent. The air was tense; something was not right:

I walked over to my parent's room. I slowly opened the door, and was shocked to see that their bed was empty. I was expecting this. It had been so bad that this could have happened, and I knew it. But still, horror shot through me. What would I do?

Their phones were gone. I could not call anyone. Our neighbor were not trustworthy. There was only one thing to do, other than get the police, but they would take my parents away. I would have to find them.

I knew where they had went. They always talked of their paradise, before they started fighting. They would go to Milan, Italy.

Doubt pierced through my mind. How would I get there? I would surely have to go on a plane, but did I have the money? Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Mom's credit card... It would at least have enough to fly to Italy, right? Or maybe take two flights? That would mean four flights in all... If I found my parents. And even though the card felt wrong in my hands, I kept it.

I packed a bag full of clothes, books, and other essential objects. I did not pack food--I figured I could buy some when I got really hungry.

I stepped out of the front door, locked it behind me, put up my umbrella, and stared into the distance, where the city was shrouded in mist. The airport was in the distance--it would be a long walk, a day or two. But I was determined to find my parents, and not the shells of themselves that they had become, but my gentle, loving parents. Those were the people I was going to bring home with me.