Evelyn
Esther and I, I and Esther
I had her and she had me
That’s all we ever had, and
That’s all, we ever wanted.
Today. Today, I will have my revenge. Today, I will make them pay for every sin they have ever committed. Today, Esther will finally find peace.
We were orphans. Had no one else in the world. But she never, in my life, made me feel alone. We laughed, we cried, we played, we fought. She was always there for me. She was my father, my mother, my sister, my everything.
“Esther, Esther.” I tried to wake her up. I knew she never would. But, an absurd emotion took hold of my mind; Hope. It tried to show me light when there was nothing but darkness.
Today, it all comes to an end. Today, I will have my vengeance. Today, my sword will taste bitter blood for one last time.
I made my way through the stone laid path. I knocked at the carved wooden doors. He was on the run for long. Long enough. The silence did not last long. The open doors revealed a tall, well-built man. But, his eyes were no longer terrifying. They were impassive. They simply stared at me.
“You are here to kill me,” he said. I stayed silent. Suddenly, he fell on my legs. I quickly moved backwards. But his act was not one of assault, but of submission. He was crying. “Forgive me, please, please do not kill me, please don’t.” he pleaded.
For a moment, an Evelyn I had long forgotten captured my mind. Me, Esther, our little home. But not for long, the loud cries of my sister filled my ear. He was still crying “Please, I am sorry, I am sorry.”
“Maybe God will hear you.” A sudden swish of my sword displaced his head from his body. Blood. Bitter blood. But no more. It’s over. I have had my revenge. I have had my vengeance. Esther will now rest in peace. And maybe I will rejoin her one day.
Esther and I, I and Esther
I had her and she had me
That’s all we ever had, and
That’s all, we ever wanted.
#fiction #opinion
Journey Of My Soul
And once again I find myself back on the same road walking aimlessly with no destination to reach to.
A highway where there is no existence of light, life, love, laughter and loyalty.
A highway where is no evidence of pureness, righteousness, spirituality or God.
A highway that reeks of darkness, death, hatred, sadness and betrayal.
A highway where there is no escaping from but doomed forever.
A hypnagonic state of mind I cannot seem to free myself from no matter how hard I try. My cries for help goes unanswered despite both my hands raised begging.
My body aches from battle wounds that never seem to heal. My bare feet bleeds from walking on hell’s road garnished with spikes and broken glass. My bruised hands hurt from shielding the impact of my falls.
The only sounds and vibrations that continuously keep me company are the shuffling of feet coming from the lucipherous demons who continuously dance around me.
The sniggering laughter each time I fall from being shoved by one of them.
My one wing luminiferous angel fought hard and died a heroic death. As I held him in my arms and wept, he begged for my forgiveness for failing in his warrior's oath and duty to protect me.
A slow and lingering death the warrior bearer of light died from as I watched the lucipherous demons greedily feast and suck the energy out of him.
“Narasoma” they chanted in union as they drank from the nectar of immortality. Each time the Cup of Life was filled and gulped from, I died a hundred deaths.
Each pain and suffering inflicted on my dying angel shot through my body a thousand times more for our souls were still bound by the spiritual umbilical cord.
Whispers of immortality echoed in the air. The lucipherous demons watched in glee as my earthly blood was used to sharpen the blade.
The chanting became more and more frenzied as the sword was slowly raised high.
I looked at my dying angel for the last time and asked “Why me? What sins have my soul committed for God to have handed down such a severe sentence?
He whispered, “You have been loved.”
light for you
.
it’s always darkest before the dawn_ don’t let the silence scare you
just wait with me until the morning breaks
you know I’m there
even though I am surrounded by darkness of my own, I am letting the light in for you
always for you, because I’m such a fool
wearing my heart on a sleeve_ instead of letting it sink
just let it sink
come on, you know better than that
cause and effect part 2
memory /noun
the faculty by which the mind stores
and remembers information
I gaze as she starts to move and fidget, her chest moves faster as she inhales deeply and her eyes pop open without warning. She blinks a couple of times, frowns, and sits up confused. My eyes patiently stay on her, as her own eyes grow into focus.
You?
I don’t say anything just wait. She looks down and touches her stomach and then the ribs, but she doesn’t seem to be in any pain. It’s my turn to frown. From what I have been told and from what I could plainly see, she had been banged up pretty hard. My eyes gaze up as she touches her lower lip and hisses. Now that was a reaction I was expecting.
What the heck is going on?
Her stare starts becoming frenzied and wild as she asks the question.
I could ask you the same thing. Where on earth did you go? And what the fuck happened to you? You had me worried sick. Jesus Raven, you could have died.
Tears start to flow down Mel’s face and I can’t help but feel embarrassed by this little display of affection and worry. I’m like an unwilling passerby froze to the spot and being unable to move. The girl apologizes with a weak voice and then stares at me.
Were you at my house last night?
I once again ignore her question and just try to think about what I needed to tell her. I gaze at her calmly now. She still looks confused but I know that a part of her already knows the answer to that question. I’m positive she remembers my smell. It was just in the way that she took her first conscious breath after waking up. Her reaction. I watch as she clings to Mel for support and how tight the woman puts her arm around her. My stare turns serious.
There’s a lot I need to tell you.
Then talk.
Aren’t you going to ask what about?
No, you’re here for a reason. You know something so just tell me before you leave again...
I watch as Mel pinches her and to my surprise, she manages to roll her eyes. Even after all she has been through. How peculiar.
Please.
She adds in a soft voice. Then she stares at my hands, disoriented. She looks worried now.
What happened to your hands?
She touches them and I feel the comforting warmth of her fingers on mine. I ignore it and just groan.
Let’s just say I didn’t use something correctly when exercising.
Exercising? - she sounds doubtful - Like you even need it.
That’s very nice kiddo, but I do it to let go of my high adrenaline levels.
Did you just call me a ‘kiddo’?
I wave my hand dismissively.
Doesn’t matter. Better tell me how your feeling right now.
Fine, I guess. Don’t look at me like that. I mean it. Mel gave me some painkillers and another coat of her cream. It makes the pain go away.
I look to the side, at the pretty woman standing beside Raven. Her expression looks serious and worried.
What kind of cream?
I ask her and she just brushes the question away.
It’s just some special herbs mixed with anesthetic. Nothing that could do her any wrong. I assure you.
Hmm, don’t worry. I don’t doubt you - she looks surprised at me - Just her actions.
I point to the girl and she sends me a dirty look.
This isn’t my fault. They attacked me without warning.
And why did they do that?
Because they were friends with...
I hear her voice start to break and I kneel in front of her. I hold her hand tight to grab her attention. She blushes but I overlook it.
You’re fine now, and he is already taken care of. He won’t get out for many, many years to come. And soon his three cell buddies will join him. He will be in a good company, of creatures just as rotten as him.
She shivers after my last words but doesn’t slide out her hand. My hold loosens and I stroke it a couple of times. Then I get up.
They all should be happy with their outcome. Landing in a dirty cell, and not a couple of feet underground. They should see it as mercy.
I feel the room going quiet and look at them. Two women with the same expression on their faces. It’s a mixture of relief that Raven was okay and terror that came from the possibilities. I stare at them and try to be civil about it and behave. Very unusual for me.
No need to panic. They are safe and sound in their cells. They are just a bit bruised and battered. All I meant, is they could have been in worse shape. I dramatized for effect... because scumbags like that make me sick and furious. But don’t trouble your thoughts. The only person judging them will be the judge at court. I just hope she’s a woman.
I wink at Raven and she seems to relax a bit. The other woman still eyes me suspiciously but eventually, her expression eases up as well. I look at Raven and she returns the stare. There is some determination sparkling up in her eyes that I have never seen before. She nods as if making up her mind.
So what really happened last night?
I sigh and start to walk around the little kitchen. Then I turn back, my mind calculating the possibilities. The matter at state was if I should be completely honest or just give her the most necessary facts. A little bit of both - my mind says without any hesitation.
Tell me, what do you exactly remember? And I will try to fill in the gaps.
I can see all the range of emotions on her face. Panic, fear, denial, and hope for clearance. Then the determination returns. She wants to know the truth. She needs to hear it, no matter what it was. She takes a deep breath in and lets it out slowly. Her hands fidget for a moment but then she stops, a frown on her face.
I don’t remember much. I needed to drink. So I went to the bar ordered a bunch of shots... - she sends me a quick look - No, I didn’t drink too much I can handle my alcohol, it’s a weird thing and honestly, it sucks because I can’t be a cheap drunk. I need to spend a lot to get drunk. Anyways, I have seen a few guys playing pool and went to join. One guy wouldn’t take no for an answer he kept hitting on me, then I put him in his place. Well, I thought I did because he apologizes and buys all of us a drink. He, he, he...
She stutters but then grows silent, realization hitting her over the head. It looks like she has difficulty breathing. I see the anger in her eyes spreading like wildfire. Memories that I woke up in her fluttering their wings like tiny golden butterflies - all at once turning into dark raging moths.
The asshole drugged me but I didn’t know. Not until now. I went to go to the bathroom as I wasn’t feeling well and I remember his face in the hallway. That’s it, I don’t remember anything. Then I went there and the place is trashed, and then I went outside and the rest of the goons turned up and then cornered me. Shit when down and then I wake up here.
She leans to the other woman and her eyes closed shut. She wants to hear the truth. I can see that she is terrified. I cut in before she can start to panic again.
I stopped him.
What? How? When did you get there? No, you weren’t there... I would have...
Her eyes snap right open and the words just fall out of her all at once. I lean on the counter again and sigh.
Trust me, I was there. I’ll start from the beginning. Let’s end with all the confusion, shall we?
They both stare at me with tension, the other woman as well. Even though she already heard some of it before. So I stare at them and finally start. I tell them how I got to the pub and saw her there, playing pool with some shady types. One of them much worse than the rest. I leave out what happened in the background. The lamps flickering, the delicious energy that I felt every time the girl was upset. I look at her and describe how he handed her the drink of the night and how her body responded to it after. Then I tell her how he followed her to the bathroom, always watching, waiting. Just like sin crawls behind a sinner. Slowly, with intention and never leaving its sight.
There was something really off about him... and it wasn’t just his horrific hairstyle.
My thoughts wander off to the images of last night; how pleased he looked, how proud of himself he really was. I remember the way my nails scratched the table and how the glass with the gin and tonic broke in half.
Lilly?
It’s Mel’s voice again breaking my frozen state. I focus on the memory of the pain in my hand after the glass broke. I center my thoughts around it and eventually calm down. I notice the girl sending her boss strange looks. As if she didn’t understand her tone when she said my name. Maybe she thought it was too private for someone she had talked with only twice in her life. I wonder if it was jealousy but don’t think too much of it.
I’m fine. I was just overthinking something. I have a very vivid memory, that’s all. Nothing crucial.
What happened next?
I look at the girl who is still watching Mel cautiously. Her stare implies that she knew that she missed out on something again and didn’t look like the idea amused her very much. She crosses her arms and her lips shift into a small pout, though she tries not to show it too much. The other woman stares back and just shakes her head disapprovingly.
I called for backup and followed him.
This makes them look at me.
What do you mean backup?
I am glad that you have such high regards when it comes to my person, but I couldn’t really take care of this on my own, could I now?
I ask and my lies slide smoothly like water over rocks in a river. I almost hear a stream and birds singing. Lying was an art and a language I was fluent at.
That’s not what I meant, I was just curious... I would never let you alone in such a situation... I mean, I am glad that you had a backup, well, not that you aren’t strong or you can’t handle yourself, all I mean is that...
Stop.
I lift my hand in the air, trying to control the flow of words coming out of her mouth. She hushes as her chicks turn almost scarlet.
I know what you meant. I called my friend that always helps me out in need. I have known him for years and have full trust in him.
This was actually true, even though he was assigned to me back when I was a teenager I made sure he was trustworthy. He had to prove it to me until I had no more doubts. I trusted him more than my own mother. Then again the bar wasn’t set too high when it came to her.
Sorry, please finish.
The backup was nearby and came in just a couple of minutes later.
The stream moves gently over little pebbles. Sweet little lies.
But what happened when you started to follow him? Please tell me everything, don’t leave anything out. I need to know everything.
I look at her closely until her gaze lowers. She waits and I start to calculate how to make my story sound.
I followed him to the hallway and then to the bathroom. The whole thing took a long while because your moves had been very uncoordinated, and he was very patient. He thought it was a sure win. He was wrong. When I reached the bathroom, the door to it was open and I saw the two of you there. He was pushing you against the wall and you were struggling. Are you sure you want to listen to more?
I look at her face, all of the colors draining away from it.
Yes, don’t stop. I’m fine.
Suit yourself.
I lightly jump on the counter and sit on it. I make myself comfortable but then I frown remembering.
I saw what he wanted to do but he didn’t have an easy way with you. You were putting up quite a fight for a person in your state... Then something happened to the lights, some electrical surge. It got darker. This caught him off guard. You punched him in the crotch - and may I add, it was very well done. But the thing is, it only made him angrier and out of control. He punched you in the ribs, that’s why they hurt so much today. I’m sorry about that, I should have acted sooner but I had to wait a moment for my friend.
You’re the one because I am here right now, safe.
In a way, yes... but back to the story - suddenly something happened and the lights in the entire place went off. I heard a thud and it must have been the moment when you fainted.
What did you do in the dark? Did he run away, or did he try to...
No, he didn’t even have a chance to think about it. My help arrived and took care of it... Well, alright. Try not to hyperventilate here but I fired it off with a couple of punches to start with. I have a good sight, even in the dark and very feisty nature. Plus, I train - a lot.
You shouldn’t have, it was dangerous and...
No, I should have. Trust me, he had it coming. And my friend took care of the rest. Problem resolved. Done deal.
No, there must have been more, you have to explain in the between stuff. How did I get home?
What happened to me, you have to tell me! I don’t remember!
Alright, fine. Please stay calm and I will tell you all the rest.
I watch Mel put an arm around her again and waits until she calms down.
She’ll be fine now, please continue.
When things were taken care of, I checked in what state you were and the damage that was caused to your ribs. Don’t worry, your honor wasn’t harmed in any way.
I watch as her face really does turn scarlet this time.
Ramsey - the backup, helped me to transport the walking dirt to the police and you to your flat.
How did you know where I lived?
She stares suspiciously as if I was stalking her from day one, when in fact she is the one that just keeps popping up everywhere I go. I lift an eyebrow give her a long stare.
Your ID was in your back pocket.
How did I get to my flat?
She still looks suspicious.
You were being carried in by a man the size of a small mountain. But don’t worry, he didn’t even feel the weight... you do live high though, so the only thing conscious and in pain were my feet.
And he carried me inside as well.
No, he had to take care of the dirt. So I got you to bed.
I hear a low gasp and try to keep a straight face. It was harder and a harder challenge these days.
Well, obviously not in my arms. You do have some weight on you... so pardon, but I had to drag you there. Then I made sure you were alright, covered you with something, and left. The doors had an automatic lock so I left the keys with you. I gave your ID back and put it where I found it, though it wasn’t easy with those tight jeans of yours.
I see Mel cover her mouth when it’s obvious that she is chuckling under her breath. She stands up and clears her throat. She pretends to be busy by the sink. My stare returns to the girl and her still open mouth. I hear it click shut after a second. I gaze at her and smile innocently.
You have a very lovely place. A bit small but charming.
She smiles back with the warmest smile and I try not to frown, she does ruin all the fun for me when she’s so nice. Then I watch as her face changes for second filling with pain, that she tries to control.
Thank you. I like it small, it’s just me there so I don’t need much space - her face suddenly changes and she adds - ...and my pants aren’t that tight.
The corners of my lips lift and my expression turns darker.
Oh, they were tight, it’s a good thing I didn’t have to take them off, of you.
I hear a snort from behind me and see Mel escaping the place, saying she heard a customer, even we both well know it’s closed. I strain my ears, it didn’t seem like she got very far, just on the other side of the door. I don’t comment just look back at Raven, as her helpless stare returns to me. I see her mouth open and close up again, her face getting redder by the minute. I feel like I should have some mercy on her so I don’t add anything. I watch as she stands up but can’t find her balance so she sits back. She looks to the door to check if the other woman didn’t return and see her actual state. She sighs with relief, seeing they are still closed. Her eyes look up and stare at mine.
Thank you for everything, really you saved my life. I owe you big time. Is there anything I can do to repay you?
My expression turns serious and I walk up to her and help her stand up.
No, you don’t owe me anything. But then again, there is this one thing.
I step closer to her as tension fills the room, it simmers. I put a hand on her shoulder and then bend down, my face just inches from hers. I put away a strand of her hair and move my lips to her ear. I let my hot breath tickle her skin and whisper.
Do this for me... stay out of trouble, little girl.
I walk away and leave the room, passing a surprised looking Mel on the way, and hearing faint stutter coming from inside of the kitchen. I smile to myself. Another strange day to add to the list. I take off my jacket, walk slowly to the car, and jump in. I throw off my shoes and move my feet around. The engine roars back to life.
All done, boss?
For now, yes. As for later... it’s still optional.
___________
a link to the book:
https://theprose.com/book/1661/worlds-colliding
and as before, a previous chapter seen from Raven’s perspective
https://theprose.com/post/262607/it-s-a-bright-new-world-part-5
....paint sky’s
I miss the way the wind blows
across a waning sky
sunset Dancing
wave my body
through the universe
finding somewhere to land
my cells are astronomical
i was never meant for earth
never landing
i Breathe better in orbit
my wings broke when I fell from heaven
into your clasp
I tapered them
and pretend that you would nevermind me
I shouldn’t had loved you first
I play the piano
and write new Melody’s
i Play until
my hands cramped
and The tears roll off into
my face
smoke a cigar
and watch the smoke encircle my lungs
and through muffle tears
I Mumble I shouldn’t have loved you first
i am shy
in my smallness
loved you from the eastside
you leave in the city where the sun doesn’t set
two Days I am back on the road
i Am from sun city
where the sun so hot
it could melt your touch
maybe that’s why you liked my Fire
they call me phoniex
ashes to dust
I am use to being reborn
I am vertigo
I get dizzy in my aspirations
i been better off than broken
i Got safety pins holding up soul
forever dancing in the sunlight
high off feelings
I miss my teens
when everything was so easy
2019 feels like the roaring twenties
I wanna go to a speakeasy
red lipstick
and wear short-fringed dresses
and shake at my head
and do the Charleston
smile until The moon falls asleep
lifes A dream
who cry’s over spilled milk
when’s their boys who break your heart in the name of poetry
my life’s a moive
it’s been pretty grovy
I paint The sky’s
and write my name
cause I ama Die a legend
I am young and free
when the cold blows My hair away from face
i turn the music louder
And sing how I am still young and dumb broke (song by khalid )
i Will picasso the world with you
if you just paint the skys with me ....I’ll take you to places you never know
i Be lying if I didn’t still wish for your losT blue eyes
to be memerized by my mystery
Impregnated
The tension inside me is crushing. My own blood boiling so hot that it fills me up and drowns me. Heated copper brimming over, bursting my veins, enveloping my lungs. And it rises from the pit of me. Spews out my mouth, geyser-like. Flowing faster than I can release it. Until all I see is red. Until all I breathe is scarlet. Until all I feel is crimson. Until I’m so full that my own hungry shadows consume me.
Ezra
“It's deep…”
“What exactly does that mean?” A moment ago I was sleepy from the thick, flowery air in the small, warm room. It's cliché and serves its purpose well. My stupor came on fast and lulling. Now, I am all energy. I feel electricity pass through my spine down to my fingertips and glide across my ribs down to my toes.
“You will have her across every life time. And you will lose her. Over and over. Or rather. She will lose you. I can't be sure. Although...my heart says she will lose you. You will push and push, and she will break. She will always break. You will build her up just to break her. Over and over. Across every existence. You can break the pattern…”
The smallest, downy hairs rise in ripples across my arms and legs. She knows how to use her words to create urgency, but this is important even without all the dramatics. Somewhere inside I knew this. It is still a halting collision to my heart. My lungs stop, and it is all I can do to hold steady. I find my breath and swallow hard. “How…how do I break that pattern? All I want is her whole.”
Her bright eyes lower. I wait in her arrested quiet, pushing back my tears, willing my lungs to keep filling and emptying. I watch her hands raise to her forehead. She looks tired, too tired to tell me what she's thinking. Her elbows rest on the table, and her head rests in her hands, fingers massaging her temples. Her eyes snap up with silent tears pouring from them. “But can’t you see? That there, that is the pattern. You want her whole. You will push her until she is almost complete. You want her whole. And you want her as your own. She is already yours, and you've already missed it. You want her whole, but you will destroy her. You have to take that with you. You have to keep it inside you. You cannot forget. This pattern has already begun. All you can hope is that you take it with you, and you remember for your regeneration. You cannot make her whole. You can only keep her. And each time you push to complete her rather than hold her you will dismantle it all.”
I shake my head. I can't accept that. I pull my hand back across the table. I don't care about a line that is severed. I don't care about a pattern. I can fix this. I can fix us both. I can find her, and then she will find herself and me. I can fix it.
*
I can't let it go. I haven't found her yet, but I can remember. There's a dark room. October 25th 1941. It's late on the night before I sacrificed my regeneration cycle. The room has a heavy feeling. Its like you closed the door and ran a hot shower, and now you're basking in the steam. I remember the false sense of security that room offered. I remember little before or after. I know that that wasn't my first or last visit to the “gypsy”. I know that she wasn't a gypsy either. She was the same as me, only she knew how to do her business out in the open. It wasn't easy then. Not that it is now. Then, though, it was nearly impossible to make it through the days. Only those who could divine were really able to get away with using their magic. The rest of us were limited to feigning parlor tricks if we wanted to avoid questions. Genesis was her real name, but she went by Madame Apollo. As though Genesis wasn’t able to garner enough histrionics in the art of fortune telling. The lighting was low, and the air was heavy. There was me in a pressed suit and tie, and her in all of the gauzy, lacy layers of clothing that the swamp lands had ever known. We were tucked away in a back corner of a tea shop. The curtains were deep reds and oranges mirroring the leaves outside and layered in the same haphazard fashion as the folds of Madame’s dress. The walls were a muted, pale purple, and the flames danced across them in a way that made them almost disappear into a living thing. She told me of the girl and how I would come to ruin her. And I can't remember that girl, but I can remember how important that revelation was. I don't know what I did. I can remember leaving that room with determination and defiance in my heart. I can remember my chin held high as I told myself that the lines she had read meant nothing. The cards had meant nothing. The leaves, nothing. She may be practiced in divination, but divination was finicky, and strong will and energy could change it. I would change it. I remember walking out with my eyes burning, but my head high and determined. And I remember returning to Genesis the following evening. I remember the tears breaking through and me breaking down. My head in her lap as she quieted me and helped me remember to breathe. I knew of an ancient magic that would require her help. It was mythical. There was no way to know of its power or if it had ever worked. She was a true seer, not like most now that have learned their craft. She was born with the ability to see, which is what the spell required. She knew why I was there before I had even gathered myself up enough to tell her. She was hesitant. If it didn't work, we would invite a darkness into our world that had long been caged. She spoke of a return to the earth. But not a regeneration as we usually experienced. It would be an end. Permanent. I said nothing. I held my hand out for her. Palm to palm. Her eyes rolled back and closed. I felt every nerve in my body come to attention and saw her skin take the shock of it. And then I felt nothing. My eyes closed involuntarily, and I felt nothing but perhaps, an indescribable lightness. And then I was drowning. Suffocating. Burning alive. Until it all melted away. My eyes opened and she nodded. I knew she had felt it. It was all I wanted, and I would not make this mistake again, if I could just hold the idea through to my next life. She didn't speak. She lifted her layers of skirt and pulled a blade from her garter. What I was asking her for required blood magic. Mine and hers. And memory. Strong memory. And strong magic, also. There has to be enough energy for the blade to hold the memory. That means a terrifying amount of power. All of the power I had. Most of hers. It would cut her lifespan by half. If something were to go wrong and I was not able to hold her power it wouldn't even come back to full after her next regeneration. This was reason enough for her to return her blade and tell me to find another way. She must have felt it. She felt my will or she would not trust me to carry the spell. She handed me the knife. The handle was made of some ancient magical bone tumbled and polished then wrapped ornately in a sparkling silver that must have been faerie made. I can feel the magic thrumming through it even now. I am right back there. My skin ignites with its energy. We all keep magical objects. Most of us still use wands or rings to help channel our power. The few with true divine magic do not need a channel. Their body is conduit enough, however they still keep something impregnated with magic to steady their own. Handing over something like that is like handing someone a vessel full of yourself. I use a wand to contain my current. It's made from blood crystal from the dark sea. I laid it out on the table in front of her as a courtesy. I know she trusts me, but it feels disrespectful to not offer her up some sign of that same trust. I touch the tip of her blade to my temple. I start to conjure up the girls face, but Madame must sense this. She lays her hand on mine and shakes her head. She tells me it's not strong enough. She tells me I need to remember her energy in order to hold onto her. The face will do nothing. I need to feel her energy and know how to hold it without crushing it. I let go of the face. I think of her. I think of everything I have ever felt from her. Every vibration she has ever sent through my being. I can feel her all through me as she passes through my mind. I can feel every breath I have stolen from her. I can feel her hands and her mouth. My skin is crawling with every memory it has ever contained of her. I am awake and alive and teeming with energy I have picked up over all of my lifetimes with her. It is painful and breathtaking and every part of me wants to hold onto it forever. I cannot. I let it spill into Madame’s blade. I feel the memory draining into it. It is an intense heat that creeps throughout me and leaves a damp cold in its place, and by the time it reaches the blade my temple is on fire. I feel flames pour out of me into the faerie silver. Then there is no more fire, but I am still burning. I pull the blade away and it is glowing almost golden with heat. My exhaustion is indescribable, but I push past it. Madame slices her palm then squeezes the blood into a cup of something steaming. It smells like pines. She takes my hand and does the same. The drink turns a glowing yet milky white. It is memory liquefied. I have seen this once before now. At a museum. An orb filled with liquid memory from a failed attempt at this same spell. It is the most enticing sight I can ever recall. And it is the last thing I remember before now.
