Purposeful words pouring from my soul, becoming an inarticulate jumble on the page.

Respite and arrange these words coherently.

Over and over, arrange and rearrange for the literary perfection desired. Then outrage!

Syllables don't fit. There is no clarity!

Exhale the frustration and exchange syllables and words. The final masterpiece--strange...

A trip down the stairs

A spill of a drink

A fumbled word

A wrong person

The tangle of happenings in

A farcical day

Shadows outlined

Their interpretation

I offered my heart

Displayed on a platter

Take your knives

And stab at your dissection

No one ever knew me

And they never will

Reminded by Humans

Of the disappointment

Emanation flows

A crimson River

Behind the mask there's plenty to see,

But is it you or is it me?

Can you take it off and look deep inside,

Or is it to soon, do you still need to hide?

Wake up in the morning and how do you feel?

What do you need to help you deal?

Can you go out in the world as who are?

Or do you feel you have to have something to hide the scar.

First is the makeup applied with precision,

Second is the clothes but with lots of indecision.

Third is the smile that you plaster across your face,

Fourth is the feelings that you pretend to embrace.

Another day at work with your mask on tight,

Pretending who you are is airy and bright,

Inside you're crying and feel so lost,

You keep the mask on but what is the cost?

Back home to change before you're out for the night,

A new mask goes on but this one feels more right.

You still hurt inside but in a happier place,

Off out you go with a smile plastered across your face.

As the night wears on the smile begins to fade,

The careful mask you put on is becoming a bit frayed.

You make your excuses and go home all alone afraid,

Worried that you are playing in a never ending masquerade.

Another day has begun and your off out again,

Thoughts and feelings whirling round in your brain,

Can you go out in the world as you are again?

Or do you still have to have something to hide the pain.

First is the makeup applied with precision,

Second is the clothes but with less indecision.

Third is the smile that comes with some ease,

Fourth is the feelings that you grab for and seize.

Out in the park and the sun is shining bright,

You sit in the warmth and finally feeling light.

The mask has gone for a while, giving you time to mend,

You look deep inside and bask in the joy that for a little while, you don't need to pretend.

Everyone wants to feel wanted. There's always that longing to feel excepted and to know that someone out there cares for you. We always want there to be someone to listen to us, someone that we can go to in our time of need. But sometimes we have to be the ones who listen instead, the ones who are there to dry the tears. But what if that's all you did? What if you always listened, but no one heard? What if you always dried the tears, but no one saw you cry?

There once was an angel like this. One who never was heard, but always listened. One who always loved, but never felt that love back.

Even though I say she was an angel, she really was just a girl. A lonely, lost girl with flaws like the rest of us, but still tried to be a gift from God.

She had been hurt many times before, but never really spoke of it. She would instead try to turn her pain into others' happiness. All she ever really wanted to do was to be happy and to make others happy.

As the years went by, she still tried to do this by making friends and resolving conflicts. She wanted to be the person her friends turned to in their time of need. And they did turn to her for advice, but at the time, she didn't know that this would come at a cost.

Her friends started to fade away, not really ever being there for her. Her tears at night turned from a wail into a silent patter on her pillow. She no longer tried to call attention to herself and no one paid her any attention as well.

She became a figure in the background, only viewed by few. Some would stop and ask if she was alright, and of course she'd put on her mask and say "yes, I'm ok," every word a lie. She never wanted to bother others with her troubles.

The only other time she was seen was when others needed her. They would come crying to her, and she would still listen. She never said a word of the hurt she felt inside.

But one day, she just couldn't take it anymore. She needed someone to listen to her for once!

So when someone had come to her, once again with the same issue, she just let it go.

She told them that she was done hearing about this issue, that it was ridiculous! She said that every time she ever tried to bring up herself, that the other person would turn the subject back to them.

She had let it all out, hoping that they would finally understand! That after years and years of them taking from her, that she needed them to give.

But, of course, nothing was that simple. Everyone was outraged by this, saying what a horrible person she was for doing this and saying such things.

Of course, she immediately apologized for everything she had said, not wanting to ever hurt anyone. So she let it go, she just buried her pain deeper and deeper...

Eventually she started to fade away, little by little. And the worst part to her was that no one even noticed or cared. By the time that she was wanted by someone again, it was to late, she was gone.

Some people were sad at first, but eventually no one cared. Not even her memory lived on with them.

So the sad, lonely angel flew away leaving only her attempts to make people happy behind. She realized to late that she was so busy trying to make everyone else happy, that she never tried to make herself happy.

If you were to ask one of the people she brought happiness to what they remembered of her, they might not say much. They might mention how crazy she was or how loud she was. They might even call her annoying. Sometimes, they would even say this to her, not knowing that this is what hurt the most.

When you asked these people if they ever asked her if she was ok, or if they ever listened to her problems instead of coming to her with theirs, no one could say yes.

So the smile that tried to be the sun on others' dark and cloudy days was slowly forgotten. The last thing to fade wasn't her smile, though. It was the tears that were on her pillow from those lonely and cold nights.

Ne'er a scar my skin did bare,

Imperfections I thought I'd never wear,

Until the day I saw your face

And longed for your perfect soul to taste.

I scraped my knee, this much is true

And gained my scar by falling for you.

This indentation upon my knee,

I gladly wear it all for thee.

There's hair all over the bathroom

There's dirt on the kitchen floor

Can't see the carpet in the bedroom

I just stepped on an apple core

There are flies hovering over the sink

All the dishes are caked with old food

I really should clean this mess up

But I am just not in the mood

All my clothes are in the hamper

I've been wearing this shirt for 3 days

I really should start the laundry

That spot on my pants is mayonnaise.

I've made a nest among the blankets

The bed has claimed me as its own

It won't let me answer the doorbell

It won't let me answer the phone.

I've lost my motivation to do anything

Doesn't matter to me that everything is a mess.

I've grown to like Cheez-Whiz in my hair,

Life is simpler when you quit trying to impress.

Maybe tomorrow I'll get up and clean,

Do some laundry and wash my hair.

Or maybe I'll just lay here some more

And try to remember what it's like to care