Dandelions, clovers, daisies

Some coin them weeds, but I think maybe

The deer and bees, in the shade of trees

Want them there, I really don't know

But I don't really care where they grow

I like them just fine

So please, if you'd mind

I'd rather you leave them alone

my brain is a cage,

too small for my thoughts.

I think-

I have ideas and inklings,

but they feel like nothing more than suspicions.

they rake the neurons of my brain,

and rip through the gyri and flood the sulci with acid.

I cannot escape this prison,

yet I am outgrowing it

and bursting out the seams.

I do not know what will become of me,

for I can already feel myself becoming unstable

They say the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.  That's only half right.  The other half was convincing people they'd know me if they saw me.

Movies helped.  So did art.  You took some pagan goat demons, painted them bright red, and thought that was me, because if you could see me then I was less scary.  The red was a nice touch.  It's like your stop signs- a bright warning that you couldn't possibly miss.  That way you think you know what to look for and don't realize I'm already whispering in your ear.

Jesus was different, of course.  He knew I was there, so there was no sense in trying to hide.  I flattered Him, tempted Him to use his power for a greater good, feeding the hungry and conquering the nations to rule with wisdom and mercy.  I knew that if He became a ruler, He'd then become a tyrant, and love would no longer be an option once He wielded power every day.  The boy didn't fall for it, of course.  I'm still not sure whether I'm angry or proud.

You're not like that, are you?  Ruling the world isn't an option you have to consider.  But there's something that tempts you.  Maybe you lift a few dollars from the cash register at work; you deserve a raise anyway.  Maybe you don't give the money you have to people who need it because they'll just throw it away.  Could be when you shut out the immigrant or the Samaritan, since you have to think of your own family first.  For the person typing this, it's a mixture of pride and anger which leads him to try to humiliate those who don't live up to his moral standards.  Whatever it is, I know it, and I'm the one who tells you it's okay.  You call me the King of Lies, but I don't lie to you.  I just help you lie to yourself.

There's a good chance you're reminding yourself that this is all fiction, that I'm not real.  As if that makes the slightest difference.  Maybe there is no intelligent active being called the devil, but I'm a part of your life whether you like it or not.  What if you were to have a conversation with the devil?  You do it every day.

I have found that for my hearts sake

It is best for me to stay stone cold

Than to allow another to touch my

Soul.

I've paid too high a price,

I've grown weary of loves games

I'll never be free from this cage

I'm in, no love here.. within.

So

My heart is stone, cold to touch

I'm still kind, I care about others

But I've turned off my own switch

There is no one for me who would

Love all of me as I am, Demon and all.

I looked, hell I even married, and they

Could not handle me.

I live a half life.

Stone cold.

I never thought I'd see the day

When you took all my sanity away

My crazy was unmatched until you

I never wanted to obey

The thoughts that I'd be locked away

There's nothing that I wouldn't do

Knock knock

Knock knock

Banning on the damaged walls

My knuckles bleed beneath it all

You took me as I am 

You crazy fool 

My mind is fractured by the thrall

But you hold me steady proud and tall

You poor and crazy fool

You saved me from myself

beware the ones

who say,

“i can’t be this

because i have these friends.”

they will claim

to love you

then spit fire

behind your back,

use your identity

as ammo

against another, and say

“it’s okay,”

because their gun

isn’t pointed at you.

beware the ones

who say,

“i can’t be this

because i have these friends.”

they will fight

to free you

then keep you

as a prize,

use your skin

as ammo

against another, and say

“it’s okay,”

because their gun

isn’t pointed at you.

beware the ones

who say,

“i can’t be this

because i have these friends.”

they will claim

to love you

when it’s convenient

only for them,

use your existence

as cover

against the backlash, and say

“it’s okay,”

because their gun

wasn’t pointed at you.

The battle of wrong vs. right is not colored in the tones of black and white.

It is not a matter of fact or fiction. 

An action through one intent may be viewed as right, while that same action may be viewed as wrong because of a difference in intent.

An action is not right because you say it is so.

An action is not wrong because you say it is so.

An action must be judged-not based on what is happening, but why it is happening.

Tell me I am wrong if you must.

They say that actions speak louder than words.

But I say that intent speaks even louder.

So before telling me I'm wrong, and even before telling me I'm right

Judge my intent.

Today marks one day since it began. The apocalypse. The end of the world. So I guess that it's technically the second day.

So what ended the world? Nuclear war? Donald Trump? Aliens? The anti-Christ? In the words of Donald Trump, "WRONG!"

In the end, it was the zombies. Who would've guessed? Now, zombies is a pretty broad category. You have the fast and strong World War Z zombies that take a tactical nuke to take down, the slow-ass Walking Dead zombies that still somehow sneak up on the survivors, and everything in  between. Lucky for us, it's the slow ones.

It was pretty weird. All of a sudden, about 1/4 of the population dropped dead, according to the news(which, as we know, hasn't always been a good source of information). After several minutes of confusion, they rose again. Turns out, it wasn't the best #andyscomingchallenge ever performed.

No one really thought much of it. For like 30 seconds. Then a bunch of people got their body chomped apart. Really, it was pretty scary.

As for me, I was in a pretty advantageous situation. I used to watch zombie movies all the time, so I knew the stuff. What's this? A zombie apocalypse protagonist that knows how to survive? Unheard of.

There I was in the middle of class. Mrs. Teacher was talking about differential equations or something. I was never one to pay attention in class. I mean, why would I if I had a 5.0 GPA without having paid attention to a single word she said all year?

Anyways, a bunch of kids in my class dropped dead on the floor. I was pretty upset since I thought I was missing out on some organized flash mob. But when they started to get up and walk all zombie-like, I knew something was up. I wasn't going to be that stupid guy that walks toward apparent danger. I ran outta that class faster than Usain Bolt.

All around me were familiar faces, worn out places, worn out faces. They were also all either dead or dying.

Outside, I hopped on the first bike I saw. Ripped it right off its weak chain. Its owner was probably dead anyway. If they weren't and they came looking for the bike, I'm really sorry. Early bird gets the worm. I'll keep it clean for you.

Anyway, I made it home, which happened to be in a gated community. Boy, this is gonna be the real-life Alexandria. Just wait. Imma put up some walls, lots of walls. Those zombies won't even get in. This is gonna be great. The world is ending, but I get to live out like a zombie movie hero. Can't wait. This is gonna be fun.

All those zombies are slow as hell. If I die, I'm sure as hell not gonna get done in by a zombie. I'll go out in the best way possible. Maybe I won't even die. Who knows?

All I know is that this is gonna be so cool.

I'm running out of time. Life only gave me twenty years and I'm only ten days away from my death date. I have to finish my story before it gets here or there's no telling what Life will do to me. No one's ever died before without finishing their final chapter. Even Millie was able to complete a story about defiant trees a full month before her death. Why am I struggling so much with it?

 To be honest though, I just don't want to write. I mean, I have ten days left. Can't I experience life instead of just sitting around imagining someone else's? But if I don't...

Surely Life won't actually torture me for eternity if I don't finish it, right? Life can't be that cruel. But is it worth the chance? Of course, if it is true, I'd still be remembered forever as the Defyer of Life. That'd be kind of cool. Maybe someone will write their story about me one day. 

You know what? I'll take it. My story just isn't ever going to....

Song: "Bird with a Broken Wing" by Owl City

i may be an optimist,

but the truth never escapes me

the soldiers in my chest have long

abandoned their posts

with the foreknowledge that

some wars

will never be won