You question the pain i bleed onto pages (baby, these poems not always for you)

it’s environmental

it’s the cold hospital rooms

it’s doctors their bad news

it’s the appointments that make the universe bleed & cry

it’s this world's sharp edges

breaking all its promises

but you, the hand I hold

my anchor to Earth

if not for you always there

I’d be lost in gravity’s pull

as this fragile heart

expands & collapses on repeat

so don’t worry about the things you read if love isn’t the theme

I’ll love you until the end

and even then my love

will echo in the spaces

between the stars

my happy ending

you

And then you sense a change

July 10, 2024

I woke up.

I shouldn’t have.

Claire wasn’t home. After the fight last night, I didn’t expect her to return soon.

However, Stanley, my German Shepherd, wasn't home either.

Claire’s note was.

Hey asshole. If you ever want to see Stanley again, leave the Beamer in the parking lot and the keys on my receptionist’s desk. Stanley will meet you in the parking lot.

I did what she asked.

She did what she said.

I was drinking a cup of coffee when Stanley appeared. I gave him a treat and walked him home.

That night, the police arrived to give me the grim news about the car crash killing my wife. She didn’t slow down enough to make the turn. The impact caused the fiery crash in which she died.

Stanley and I attended the funeral. I collected the insurance money later that month.

I bought a new water bowl for Stanley.

We keep it in the condo on Lake Geneva.

Stanley seems to like the new situation.

So does Dagmar, my new bride.

Iceberg eyes shoot towards me like spears piercing through my soul, exposing me.

Knocked on my metaphorical ass

I feel naked, aware, terrified

Alive in their presence

Immediately I question

Am I a fraud in my own life?

My hand says “taken” but my eyes say “take me away from here.”

If only we met before I went down this very straight and narrow path.

Still, if you asked.. would I ruin it all for you?

I try my best not to stare in awe when you speak- so passionately about the topics you feel so strongly.

Words tangle in your tongue and the exuded passion makes me weak.

Years have passed since we last saw each other, yet I’m undone once again by your intoxicating presence

Utterly and completely

Untethered

Early morning after the 4th, and there's a

Stillness to the air...

The void howls out beyond the stillness...

In the far distance there are tears;

Nicks in the cities' consciousness...

At long last tiny plots break through...

A car alarm from somewhere cries...

A siren trails off in the gloom...

The roar of commerce has subsided mostly...

On the periphery: a background sound

Like one would find inside a conch shell;

Night air assailants sleeping sound...

...Tomorrow they'll regain their footing,

Stumble groggily to work...

So few will think about the night before,

And how unconsciously they tried

To rend a hole in the monotony...

To send their message through the sky...

Of course it's gift wrapped in patriotic pablum...

So many things we do are veiled...

Early morning after July 4th's madness...

There is a sense of relief

Among the frail

Foothills of imaginings...

We are descending back to our roots...

Basking in hollowness of the empty gun shells...

...Somewhere the Anarchists salute

Their pilings of documentation of

Long past flirtings with the law...

Now they revel in their golden years

Mouthing a toothless

Proud guffaw...

Who's really won?...

Who's really lost?...

It seems so senseless

By halflight...

The birds outside begin their chirpings

As sleep's returning without a fight...

Bunny Villaire

7/5/23

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