you make me wish 

i weren't this sad, 

this empty. 

you make me feel 

like i could have loved, 

i could have laughed, 

i could have smiled 

like you in the sunshine.

you make me wish 

i weren't made 

of pastel browns 

and muted blues. 

so i could 

fit into your 

technicolor life 

with you. 

you make me believe 

i can step into your world 

when you take my hand. 

you make me 

forget my chains. 

but i'm tied up anyway.

I

can't

give

without having it all taken away.

I can't bare my soul

without it being taken from me.

I can't show my body

without it being ravaged by wolves.

I can't speak my thoughts

without being ostracized for them.

It's like the only real way to survive

is not to live at all.

Many nights I would gaze

Upwards to the heavens

Tears pooling on

My window sill

Asking what galactic

Brightness is she

Will I find my love

In my inner depths

The soul was confident

I would find you

But past scars

Cast it's doubt

Then one starry

March a burst

of light appeared

Radiating into my heart

It asked what

Can this be ?

My soul whispered

That is she

Full of light

So warm and deep

And two souls

That are meant to be

See these two stars

Are now one

They will never

Be dark

For its real love

I yell and scream his name,

but Death runs the other way.

He is too busy stealing the breaths

of people who are loved,

to cause tragedy and ruin

upon an innocent family

who will be pained, forever.

Feeling the absence of

their missing angel,

which maybe explains why

I am still breathing.

I once knew a girl,

who truly believed:

she wasn't worth being loved.

She pushed everyone away,

until they couldn't bear the pain

of picking up her own glass shards

as she cleaned her bloody knuckles raw,

secretly in love with the pain

and the scars that were left behind.

She killed herself today.

Sometimes, I feel so alone,

like I could disappear

as I walked into a crowded room

and no one would notice.

Maybe, I should just jump

off this bridge and into the water

with a loud bang as my bones crush,

the impact stealing my breath.

It took me years decide

What I wanted to be in life

But something I developed in an hour

Was more meaningful than all of that

Combined

See I never believed in truth

Because truth is just a word we use

When part of what we say might be right

But most of time it isn't

So I began to say to myself

That there is only one truth

And this truth is painful

For it's the ones closest to us

Who lie to us the most

But that isn't the truth you see

That's only because they talk to us the most

See the truth is

It doesn't matter what you say

The only truth in this world

Is that everything else is a lie.

How soon

The rains did throw you to the ground

How soon

You lay prostrate,

Found a crack within the ground to bury your face

How soon,

The walls don’t hear voice

Then suddenly voices from the chambers appear like a dream

These walls have broken down to give way,

To the crowd

You did lose your innocence

But it was nothing compared to how the moon judged you differently previously,

After that first kiss

The numbers were few who told you to continue

Then you did

Now you have succeeded in throwing fire into the crowd

They will cry for themselves

They will throw their tears unto you

They will shout every moan to the heavens

They will mention your name like a curse

And the heavens will descend onto earth,

On a horse with scrolls

And the scrolls will be spread even among those who weren’t part of the crowd.

Even ghosts will feel your fire

And be spread, your sorrows

These fires will burn your sorrows into ashes

The ashes will be stored in vessels

And the vessels shall be shared,

Like a cattle sacrificed on the seventh moon.

Time passes, but the clouds don’t reckon your changing colours

The clouds will turn dark

And change into grey quickly

Then switch to faint

Just to camouflage your changing faces

People always ask me:

What do you want to be

when you grow up?

I reply:

A boss.

People already say,

I'm bossy as hell

and maybe that's why,

I get called a bitch,

but I wear that crown:

like a fucking queen.

I painted myself

Across the sky

Blending in musical

Tones and hues

Then melted,

And flowed

Like honey

Over the edge

Of distant horizons