The pain is unbearable. They know it's there, but they just say it's not that bad. Fight through it. But they don't know, what it is like. When you smile, it only fills half your soul. You disappoint all the people who want something from you, but they don't understand! You just can't! The pain is swallowing you whole.

She was like lightning,

Sudden,

Bright,

Breathtaking.

She struck wherever she wanted,

Having no mercy

On her victims.

When she struck me,

My

Heart

Stopped.

She surprised me with her beauty.

Soon, I became her thunder.

Wherever she went,

I followed.

Others feared us,

And loved us,

Both at once.

I was astonished by how gentle

Lightning could be.

Your words caressed me more then your arms ever did.

Declarations of undying love that never made it past words,

empty words.

Your kisses remained distant, like

you were an ocean away.

I should have known your heart

was never mine.

You claimed to be in love,

you claimed that I'm the one,

but we never made it farther than words

I love you.

But love is such a weak word. People say

I love you to their

middle school crushes.

Love is meaningless.

Just like your words,

Empty words.

Yet I believed,

and you left for another.

My heart is bullet proof, but

it's not missile proof.

You shot me through and now

my heart is ashes.

Goodbye love,

I'll never forget you.

But I know you will me,

because I was never anything to you.

When you whispered

Candy sweet compliments to me

In the dead of night,

I did not

Could not know

That you spoke with stolen praise.

The phrase

You whispered was borrowed from another,

You never believed it or lived it

But I did

And you led me down the path that shouldn’t be followed

So here I am,

A remnant of your

Stolen praise.

You picked me up off cold ground,

Only to throw me down a cliff

I still haven’t hit the ground yet,

I’m still falling.

Getting deeper and deeper with the rusty razor

The blood is the waterfall called gravity pulling me down.

If only I knew how to fly,

Then I could be a vulture and eat you alive.

Give you a taste of the hell on earth you put me through

The razor blade the cuts my wrists

Is made of the words you spoke

The stolen praise

That was never meant for me

The blood it takes out

Some of the demons in me

Left by your words

Of stolen praise.

The lines crisscross like stitches,

Drawn in sharpie,

Each stick is a tally

Of the false words you said to me,

The stolen praise.

The last gift you’ve given me

The curse of heavy weights dragging me down

Each one represents a time I “failed you”

When really it was your failures.

I am weighed down by your failures that you

Chained to me

With your words of stolen praise

The next time you fail, I won’t take your weight. I’ll let responsibility crush you

I’ll watch you suffer in a tiny morsel of the

Delicious pain you put me through.

And then

I’ll be the one giving out stolen praises,

Stolen from you,

And you’ll be the one twisting and writhing like a worm on a hook.

I was once upon years ago

an innocent one

a youngling

a ball of energy

a soccer player

a runner

an avid reader

a head full of blonde curls

I am currently

a high schooler

a music enthusiast

a writer

a goalkeeper

a dancer

an artist of sorts

a person who is beginning to like coffee

I will be one day

a college student-athlete

a person who goes to concerts

a not shy person

a lover of coffee

a person who likes to work out

a friendly, not resting-bitch face person

a calm one not plagued by anxiety

I came into the world

I am seeing the world

I will conquer the world

Not veni vedi vici

but instead,

Veni

Cum sim

Et vinces

I came

I am seeing

I will conquer

To whom am I bound,

On this winding road,

As I dream of better things,

But with chains that bind me and pull me back,

Two steps for a single one,

The world at my fingertips and yet so far away,

Dirt on my weathered boots,

I sing a lonesome tune.

#poetry #lonely #depression

There she is, my beckoning dream,

where the endless sky meets the earth.

My spirit is soaring so high—

to catch her beauty at sunrise,

and bask in her firestorm breath.

Midnightink 1-1-19

The staircase that leads down from heaven to hell is long, narrow, and steep.

The light that shines down in cascade from above fades to black in the mouth of the deep.

Ascensions to light pass through degrees of heaven; descent into hell goes by shades.

In my fist took I hold of a deep shade of hell, and in light, watched it evaporate.

Two distinct souls as one

Lost in heated desire

Caressing each other, bare naked, skin to skin,

Lips, tracing every avenues of their bodies,

In hunger, melting between volcanic fire

Wild hearts, roaming and beating together

No limits, consumed in sensuality

under any weather

No apprehensions,

yet skydiving in free-fall

Each is in more needs

To satisfy, the hungers of their inner call

At last, pleasure is at its rising peak

She and I, conjuring, without words to speak

Yet, we’re solely unique souls

but joined as one

But we’ve forgotten our existences

While getting consumed

In the pleasing crouching sun

MidnightInk (8/9/2018)