I can't always make my words sound nice

Because pretty things can look like lies

But I want to express the truth in rhyme

And if it requires more effort, I'll take the time

Sometimes my world feels like a maelstrom

Where all the bad things come from

And my hands and legs are knotted behind me

My tongue is tied to muffle my desperate plea

As I'm tossed thoughtlessly in the ocean

And circling around is a shark fin

I'm gasping for any breath

Because I'm not ready for death

And in my struggling haze I see

Someone who might be like me

And I'm drowning and that shark is still there

But you have a knife and some time to spare

You can't reach your own bondages

But you saw at mine with the knife's edges

But as much as I don't want to die

Maybe I think my existence is a lie

And illusions don't deserve to survive

When there are more deserving souls to revive

So i grab the knife and I ignore the red

That seeps from the gash, the first blood shed

And I flip the knife to reach the hilt

Starting to work on your ropes ridden with guilt

Because here we are in a deadly sea

With a shark circling us, just you and me

And I know I can never be enough

What's ever enough for an opponent this tough?

But I'll try until I can't try any more

I'll try until I've washed up on shore

Because that's the only way this ends

With my lifeless body on a beach covered in sand so it blends.

And a note pinned to my forehead with two words:

Not Enough.

Writers,  

     Seattle Refined did a remarkable spot on us. From a bar in West Seattle to the downtown offices of Prose., this three-minute piece came out nice and clean. Link is below.

     We hope your sentences are hitting the page lean and mean, and to see more of your work across this spectrum words. Thanks for being here. 

Go to minute 14:00. 

https://youtube.com/watch?v=fm-uquSrxSI&

She is beautiful,

But it's an eerie beauty,

Haunting in a romantic type of way.

She lurks in the shadows,

Calling to me softly like doves on an Autumn morning.

Her skin is as smooth and pale as fine china,

Glistening gently under the iridescent silver moonlight.

Long, coal black strands fall loosely around her chiseled features.

She glances at me through ice blue eyes,

Taunting me from across the room.

She preys upon me, knowing that I am weak.

I want to leave with her so badly.

I long to press my tired lips on her plush, inviting ones.

I ache for the comfort of her company.

She is desirable like no other.

She knows just how badly I angst for her touch.

Oh, how easily I could slip into her grasp,

Yet still she keeps her distance.

She understands that, once I am ready,

I will come running to her cold embrace.

I am consumed by pain.

I cannot wait a moment longer.

My heart throbs for the black haired beauty.

Through toilsome breaths,

I beckon her,

And with light steps,

She silently saunters towards me.

No words need to be exchanged.

We both know what is coming.

We both know what we want.

Her firm grip is asserted upon my shoulder.

With a swift movement, her lips suddenly rest on mine.

Slowly, I feel my body become numb.

My soul is no longer devoured by anguish.

Towering black wings burst from her back, exposing her true form.

She encases me in her warm plumage.

I feel a snap.

Death releases our lip lock,

My fading corpse no longer embraced by rich feathery darkness.

I did it.

At last, I have crossed over to the other side.   

I loved you.

I loved you with an all consuming fire.

You were the warmth that melted my frozen heart.

You made it beat again.

For the first time in so many years, my heart was beating.

All thanks to you.

See, I've had this hate hate relationship with myself.

I've been judged, criticised & abandoned my whole life.

That leaves scars, man.

Deep, rotting, festering scars that ooze with anger, self-loathing, anxiety, depression & myriad other sad emotions.

I thought I would never be good enough.

But you changed all that.

You treated me like a queen.

Everything was perfect...

Until you hit me.

At first I thought I must have deserved it because, how could someone who claimed they loved me do something so cruel unless I had made some heinous mistake?

So I dismissed it & loved you still.

Then it happened again.

I questioned why, begging you to tell me what I did wrong.

"You're just useless. Pathetic."

That was all you said.

For months I tried so hard to make you happy.

I loved you.

I wanted to be with you.

Yet, I failed. Time & time again, I failed.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

I'd ask myself this every single day, hoping to come up with the answer.

& then I knew.

I knew exactly what I had to do.

I wasn't right for you &, as you had pointed out, wasn't right for anyone else either.

So what was the point?

I loved you.

Oh how much I loved you.

I loved you as I held the gun to my head.

I loved you right up till I pulled the trigger.

I always loved you.

But it's over now.

Everything has stopped.

Thanks to you, I ended it.

I broke up with myself.

I broke up with life...

©CJ

I feel a pain running through my veins

It used to feel good where love stood

Where has it all gone

Emptiness between walls

Lonely steps on the floors

A reflection of my former self

A subtle cry for help

I bask in the darkness that becomes me

A shield from people that hurt me

Wrap me in arms of cold

Finally something to hold

This sadness feels good it's constant

It's the only thing that never changes

I trust it more than I trust myself

I love it more than love itself

Love left me it hurt me

Who needs love it always runs out

The last time I saw him

in the mist of his oblivion

his footprints whispered goodbye

harsh rain soaked into my soul

I clung to him with tears of no return

the heavy weight of water pulled him

away from me into his vague future

I wish I could swallow more time

keep it safely tucked into my belly

before he floated away from me

stagnant air festers in my head

as my haunting words linger in air

pleading for one more chance

but I only hear the echo of my voice

reverberating in the empty night

“Please stay, oh please stay with me.”

I am left with little piles of memories

encapsulated deep within my heart

as he vanishes forever from my view.

I stared into the mirror, toothbrush dangling from my hand.

"What do you want from me?" I asked.

My reflection smirked, leaned against the wall, folded her arms.

"Come on, you know. Let's make it messy, yeah?"

I frowned as I rinsed the toothbrush. "You say that everyday."

She rolled her eyes. "And you never do anything. I'm tired of this familiar dialogue. You're tired of it. Day after day we argue, and we fight, and even when I know you see sense, you come back the next day, as stubbornly rigid as ever."

"So leave me alone. Go away."

She threw her arms up in exasperation. "Look, I want to be gone as much as you want me gone! So just kill someone already! And be done with it."

"And you'll move on?" I dried my hands on the towel nearby, her hooded eyes watching them like a hawk.

She grinned toothily. "Something like that."