Cage of Guilt
Every word pulling, draining
my soul has a funnel that pours all my emotion into her
I am left empty, a one-way arrangement where she takes all
every word twisted, sickly sweet
a honey coated trap in which I am caught
she says she cares for me and has me in her heart
and loneliness is colder than the way she treats me in the dark
Finite Fields
Finally finished following false Facebook “friends’” flimsily fabricated faultless façades;
Facets falsely flash florid, fleeting frissons: farcically foolish fads, flippantly funny frivolities, flattery-fraught flirtations, flagrantly facetious fulminations, frightfully fretful forebodings, famous female fetishization; frankly, far from fascinating.
Facebook's formidable framework features formulaic facilities for furtively filtering followers’ feeds, force-feeding fatuous followers fetidly faulty fodder, falsehoods framed favourably; forgeries fester; flagrant flim-flam flourishes; factual fidelity falters, forfeited for facile fairy-tale fantasies.
Facebook's fractally fallacious, fetid, festering forum forcibly furthers filthy, flagrantly fictitious frequencies; fractiously facilitating false "facts", fertilizing fodder for formidable fearmongers (frequently fiendishly fraudulent, faithless fascist fundamentalist figureheads feigning faithfulness), fervently, furiously fingering fault-free foreigners, frightening fearfully faithful followers; fomenting frustratingly foolish, fruitless, futile fights;
Foolhardy fringe factions flourish, festering, fertilizing false fatalism; fanatical foes' fiery feuds follow, faces foaming: fisticuffs, fractured femurs, fusillades; fearsome firepower found, fatal firefights follow.
Freedoms foregone, forfeited, forced furtively from fine friendly fellows' fists; federal fascists, fumbling, faltering, feverishly forestalling forthcoming failure, follow former Führer's footsteps, forbidding freedom; Facebook faithfully facilitates, foiling freedom fighters, fingerprinting firebrands, feeding false "facts", foreshadowing frighteningly formidable fascist forces' forthcoming.
Fuck Facebook.
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Fortunately, found fresh, fantastically fancy, formal forum for fostering fruitful fellowship;
Finding formidably fluent friends from foreign fields feels fabulously fun!
Finally, freedom from fruitless frivolity!
Finding functionality, forming friendships, fostering freedom.
Fellow freedom fighters (fiesty feminists, flamboyant fellows, fierce firebrands...), forthright, feel freely, fervently, fiercely, forcefully;
Facing forever forward; floating fearlessly, flying;
Forging fresh fates from flickering flames.
Faculties, fecund, *finally* flourishing!
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(Forewarning: following facilitates face fluids' flow; fortify first.)
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Fondness for flora fading fast; flowers forgotten, forests' foliage falling.
"Foresters" frequently fell fertile forests, forming feedstock for fuelling factories' foul, filthy furnaces, foundries;
Freighters from faraway factories forge forward frictionlessly, fossil-fueled, ferrying flimsy fare: forest frontiers fall forever faster for forcefully foisted fad-following furniture, futons, flooring, functional fixtures, fairy-tale fences, fanciful figurines, filigreed finials; fabricated first, foremost, for farcically fattened, frighteningly feebleminded folk.
Finding financial frugality far from fantastic, frequent fliers fling funds freely, finding fresh fields for fornicating. Forsooth! Frequent flying flings fossil fueled fires' foul fumes frighteningly fast. Furthermore, frequent flying facilitates fatal flus' far-flung flourishing. Forthwith, forego fanciful flights, friends.
Fossil fuel financiers' fiendishly foisted "fossil-fuel footprint" farce fosters false feelings from fine, friendly folk. Forget "fossil-fuel footprint" - first, foremost, finger fossil fuel factories, fossil fuel financiers, fossil fuel foisters.
Fossil fueled, fossil fluid-filled freighters forge forever forward, feeding fractionating factories; fractionating factories forge fossil fuels from fossil fluids, forever feeding fossil-fueled fires, flinging foul, fetid fumes forever farther. Fossil fluid ferriers frequently fail, fractured fuselages foundering, fast-flowing fossil fluid flurries forever fouling fresh fisheries, forests, fields...
Fossil fuels' filthy fumes fatefully force frighteningly fast feedbacks, forever forcing Fahrenheit figures further forward, fatally frying forests, flora, farm fields, fisheries, fellow fauna. Furthermore, frequent fluctuations (formed foremost from fossil-fueled fires' foul, far-flung fumes) famish formerly fertile forests, facilitating forests' fall 'fore fearsome, formidable flames fanned ferociously from fallen foliage; fauna flee frantically from furious fires. Filthy fossil fuels' felony failures forever fouled finite fields; future's frightfully foggy, fragile, finished. Foreground's faltering. Fuck fossil fuels' filthy financiers.
Furthermore, faulty fission furnaces fail ferociously, flinging filthy fallout faraway, forever fouling farm fields; fully fertile fouled fields, formerly fruitful, fecund, fall forever fallow, forsaken.
Fuck.
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Feral fauna faltering:
Far fewer fluffy, furry friends (ferrets, fossas, fennec foxes, fruitbats, flying foxes...); Famous feral felines' future fading; foolishly fast-flying fossil-fluid fueled Ferraris, flatbeds, Fords, frequently flatten feeble, frightened fawns.
Flippered, finned friends fed fish for forced flipping, flapping, frolicking, flailing; freedom forgotten forever, freewheeling friends faraway.
Furred friends factory-farmed; frightened, frenzied, frantic; force-fed feeble fodder, fattened, flesh finally fried for fatty fast food (Fast Food: fizzy, falsely flavoured fructose-filled fluids flowing freely from fountains, french fries, fried flesh...).
Furriers flay fine fur from furry friends' flesh for fetidly fancy fashions. Forego furriers; faux fur's fine.
Festering factory fowl farms facilitate flus' fatal flourishing; furthermore, free-flowing feces flushed from factory farms frequently fouls freshwater fisheries.
Fluttering, flitting friends (fireflies, fleas, fruit flies, fishflies, fritillaries, formicidae...) free-falling: flattened from factory farmers' foolhardy fossil-fueled flyby fumigating.
Farmers' fetid fossil-fluid fertilizers force fresh fruit from fragile fields, forever fraying fields' fertility; furthermore, fluvial fluids ferry free-flowing fertilizers far from factory fruit farms, feeding far-flung, festering fungal flora; far-off fisheries founder, failing, fully finished; far fewer fish found; feedstocks faltering, fecundity failing, fertilization flatlining.
Fish filtered frenziedly, forever faster, from forever farther-flung fisheries, for food; fine finned friends filleted for fancy fare; feeble finned friends' flesh flushed, fetid food fated for factory-farmed fish.
Flying, flitting, flapping feathered friends (flamingos, finches, fantails, falcons, flatbills, flycatchers, forktails, flickers, frigatebirds, fulmars, fish-owls, figbirds...) forlorn, flagging, frequently famished (fewer fish, flies, fruits, food...), fall face-first, fatally, from fatigue.
Face fluids flowing freely.
Feeling fairly funereal.
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Founding Fathers fortuitously foresaw financiers' filthy, fiddling fingers; fortified federal financial facilities.
Forebears' fiscal folly fomented former financial free-fall; forthcoming financial free-fall feared far faster; fatally ferocious.
Fast-forwarding, financiers' fiscal fuckery fomented far-reaching foreclosures, finally finishing fine, friendly families far from financial freedom. False fronts feigned fiduciarity; far-fetched fiscal figures, fixed, falsified financial fortitude; fiat finances fully forgotten, fungibility favoured, Fed forged forever forward, fiscal flaws fatal.
Fast-forwarding further, federal facilities falter; Fed frequently fielding funds from foreign financiers. Found flat-footed, federal facilities fragment frighteningly fast; financing failing, frozen, facilities falter, fracturing forever faster.
Feds further fortified finances, forestalling fiscal free-fall; funds flowed (fractionally) faster. Freedom from faltering finances felt, for furloughed fellows, fairly fantastic (fleetingly).
Forsooth! Forget false fanfare; financial forbearance finally finished; far-reaching foreclosures forthcoming, fast.
Fed's feckless, frail, fraudulently fictitious, feloniously fabricated financial façade finally fracturing, faltering, failing. Forthcoming financial free-fall foreshadows federation's final folding; fatalities feared.
Federal finances fubar, far from fixable.
Future finds frivolously fattened fossil fools flailing feebly, fearful; Freeloading financiers' far-flung feelers forever found faculties for forcing fine friendly folks' funds from fine friendly folks' fists; formidable fortunes, furtively ferretted, funnelled for fossil fuel funding, finally falling, fracturing, folding, failing; fracking's finished, far from financially feasible.
Feudalism, futurized: frigid financiers’ faceless, formless, "fiscally fiduciary" funds force faraway farmers' famished, fettered families (farthest from financiers' futuristically fancy flagship fortresses) from fertile farm fields, frequently fatally; far from fair.
Families fragmented, frenzied, frantically fleeing from freakishly ferocious fires, famines, furious flash floods, federal fascists, faraway financiers.
Fractionally functioning, faulty families fray, filaments flimsy; fenestrated fabric finally fails from frequent friction.
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Foremost fixation? Find fissures. Find fulcrums. Force fossil-fueled factories, ferreted funds, futuristic fortresses from fraudster financiers' filthy, frigid, frozen fingers. Find fresh formats for functioning. Former format far from foolproof; failing fantastically.
Fortune favours fearless fighters.
Find forefront. Foray.
Fight for freedom;
Fight for friends;
Fight for family;
Fight for future.
A Momentary BLISS!
What’s good in baked beans
and dressing poured on greens?
What do you reach for
when coughs are at your door?
What adds that sweet touch
to baklava and such?
What’s never icky?
As good as it is sticky?
Poured o’er your pancake,
ache for its own sake!
What sweetens your tea,
came to being by a bee?
Found in King Tut’s pot,
never gives way to rot.
Our money’s on this
momentary Honey BLISS!
I Got A Million Of’em
No, seriously, I do. So I hope you don’t mind too much
if I share a few really bad lines that are funny.
My wife said I was immature. So I told her to get out of my fort.
I didn’t want to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a traffic cop, but when I got home, all the signs were there.
I spent a lot of time, money, and effort childproofing my house but the kids still get in.
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, identity theft is a crime.
A guy goes to his doctor because he can see into the future. The doctor asks him, “How long have you suffered from that condition?” The guy tells him, “Since next Monday.”
and finally ...
I wish Covid-19 had started in Las Vegas. Because what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
I now have 999, 994 left.
That Tumbleweed Moment
How does an elephant get up a tree?
Sits on an acorn and waits for it to grow.
How does an elephant get down from a tree?
Sits on a leaf and waits for autumn.
Why is it dangerous to walk through the woods in autumn?
Because of all the elephants coming down from the trees.
Why is a crocodile flat?
It walked through the woods in autumn.
on the topic of sex and self-loathing
The entanglement of my income, sexuality, and personhood is weighing heavily on me tonight. I feel like I’m constantly betraying myself, abusing myself, mistreating myself. Every time I go to bed with a man I know shouldn’t, it’s a betrayal. I give far too much of myself to men who can’t or won’t truly care for me. I want sex to be simple, mechanical, just two people enjoying the pleasures granted to us by our bodies but it isn’t. The reason it isn’t is because I don’t have sex for the pleasure of it alone, I have sex to try to soothe the ever-present hunger in my soul. I give my body to men in the hopes that they’ll be able to make me feel valuable, desirable but too often I just feel like a piece of meat, either while I’m still in their arms or when I’m leaving their apartment alone. I use sex, in the same way, I used drugs, in a desperate attempt to alleviate the hurt, sometimes it works for a bit, sometimes it doesn’t but every time I eventually come out worse for wear. Maybe I give my body to men that I know will hurt me because I think I deserve it, maybe I do it because I think things will be different this time around. All of my attachments are unhealthy by design because at least that way the pain doesn’t come as a surprise.
Headaches and Pain Killers
All I can feel as I sit in class is the throbbing of my head
It starts off small, just a small buh-duh-duh bum-diddly-duh buh-duh-duh
I smack the side of my head lightly, trying to make it go away
but that only makes it worse as the gentle pounding turns into hard rock drumming
The drummer not caring that my head is killing me and that I’m trying to concentrate
I can hear the drumming pounding within my heart even as my head keeps throbbing
It feels as if my head is on fire, thousands of hot needles stabbing into my forehead
Help, please, help, my head screams for mercy
Not able to take it anymore, I raise my hand to go to the nurse
The drumming continued as I walked down the hall
banging on my skull like it was a war drum and we were approaching the final battle
Hopefully this was one that I would actually win for once
After being given some ibuprofen, I swallowed the pills down like they were ambrosia
hoping that the godly nectar would soothe the pounding that would not stop ringing
Gradually the drumming stopped, the pounding eased
the pain in my forehead dulled to just a dull thud every five minutes
It was bliss in comparison to the drums
Too bad it was only a day before the war drums started up once more
#SleepySong