Time To Heed What We Feel
You look at me
I look away
This couldn’t be
But I want to stay
This feels so wrong
But I have to ask
Is this where I belong?
Should I lower my mask?
I’m in love with you
And you with me
Until now, had no clue,
But some things are meant to be
You reach out and take my hand
My breathing hitches, I want to run
But now is my time to make a stand
To prove I’m not just staying for fun
I now have to prove what I feel
Not in word, but in deed
All these emotions inside of us are real
It is time for us to listen and heed
Fresh Start
I must start anew.
My craft was ruined by a large being, torn apart, ripped to shreds.
My creation, my hard work, my daily life now wraps this figure and is pulled to the dirt.
A vantage point saved me from the same end,
but, exasperation feels worse.
I crawl to where once lied an amazing, entangled maze of pure beauty,
and sigh.
Alas, I must start anew.
My End
I always grew up,
in the church, in my home, at school,
I always grew up being told
"you live to make others happy"
so i did
I held my head high.
I said the nice things I could
I held the people who needed it
I listened to the unheard
i was told that made God happy
but what about my happiness?
I lived in a neighborhood house
I was told to be grateful
In a house full of too many dogs
Going to school smelling like dog shit everyday
i was told that made God feel loved
but where was my love?
i hate the way i look and talk
i was told i was selfish for thinking about myself
for caring about others, for taking care of others
for ignoring myself
i was selfish
i was told that someone taking their life was the most selfish thing anyone can do
that god hates and punishes those who do it
so i decided, what the hell
i'll be "selfish"
my depression and anxiety didn't matter to anyone
my love and care didn't matter to anyone
my pain and sadness everyday didn't matter to anyone
i didnt matter to god
i didnt matter to anyone
so i decided, what the hell
i'll be "selfish"
no more "what about me"
no more "where do i fit in"
no more "where is god?"
no more "what about me"
i'm going to take care of myself, for once
haunting sirens & forgotten alarms
hold me, as I melt in your arms,
like tears made of iridescent wings.
haunting sirens, forgotten alarms,
just to wear your paper rings.
tell me, that the world isn't cruel,
as you sip on ruby blood.
and you pick me out, jewel after jewel,
till it flows furiously, as a flood.
my fire never burnt you,
as you were always made of ice.
darkened by horrors untrue,
and so you rolled the dice.
to haunt me until I fell for,
your game and tilted stage.
you whispered to me and swore,
that we were on the same page.
I'm just like you, both the same
thick as blood and light like water,
the difference is the way we play the game,
in the eyes of those I slaughter.
you were fine as you walked away,
armored with the fire from my eyes,
and left only the cold and gray,
then promised me your striking lies.
the walls came crumbling down,
and in the rubble fell the key,
and even though you got the crown,
darling, what about me?