The days are light in my arms

free of worry, full of charm

friends aplenty, my family’s love is warm

even my cubicle is close to my home

not a strand of my hair out of place

no need to stand and then pace

seems like things are going my way

my mind a Rubix cube one solid color

not mixed up and jumbled

put the dryer on low tumble

wrinkle-free clothes

clouds out my view can’t hear any thunder

I know right now life’s full of wonder

good reason to sleep and not slumber

I give thanks for these days when the sunlight shines my way.

The nights are long the days bleed together, in search of constant distraction to alleviate the emotional turmoil that is within my mind. But the body can only stay awake for so long before my eyes give into the sandpaper feeling of sleepiness, and the nightmares begin to wreak havoc on any possible restful sleep that I may have hoped for. So going to sleep super late and tossing and turning till way too early in the morning never getting enough sleep, I grow agitated and irritable with a short fuse and no tolerance. The isolating thoughts of who would even want to be near me? Cause God knows if I could escape me I would. So I hide myself away in the safety of my room playing on my computer talking to my friends online, where when I feel tired of pretending to be okay or the distractions aren't working anymore I can just hang up the call and take a nap with hopes of not dreaming, or turn on a movie so I can have some time to just not think. This is the side of me I try desperately to hide from everyone cause who when not even me wants to near me.

this is just some rambling at 1:14am I am medicated for mood disorders and am aware that things are not okay I do have an appointment on Tuesday and so I am getting help just feeling and expressing if you have nothing supportive to say please just don't say anything at all. Thank you to whoever reads this and is supportive and thanks to anyone who realized they had nothing nice to say and said nothing at all I hope you the best.

P.S. I'm not suicidal just .... Tired.

The rain that falls into a dry well quenches the thirst of a dying man.

The food fed with love sates the hunger of a beggar's child.

A shelter provided with compassion shines a light in the darkness of a battered wife.

A random act of kindness bestows a rare gift by the Universe.

A life experience encounter gives birth to a new chapter.

A new door wide open sprouts hope for the future.

A shameless uninvited guest who rarely visits but when it does; shower it with the utmost respect.

The visit is often short and sweet. 

Many would describe it "as a blink of an eye."

But when it stands in front of your humble abode, knocking ever so gently, it never turns up empty-handed.

The uninvited guest seeks nothing in return but humbly request a place for the night, to rest its tired bare feet from a long travelled journey.

The parting and farewell are always before dawn for it has to reach its next destination by sunrise.

As the hour welcomes dawn, pray the uninvited guest has departed safely for its new destination.

As each sunrise day welcomed, pray the guest has unannounced its uninvited appearance.

As the tears of gratitude and happiness it leaves behind, are permanent memories deeply embedded in the souls of humankind.

Image: No fear flare photography by funky64 (www.flickr.com/photos/funky64/)

I Use

#Words

Like Fists

you’ll Know

When

I am

#Pissed

Cause

the Keys

Will Sprawl

Like We're

In a

#Brawl

& Buddy

I Never

#Miss

-

Will you

be

my Grammar

#Nazi

Nurse

Cause

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Cost

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I'm not sure

why every leaf

must die,

but there's a mirror

wrapped around the dew

when they rest

soft upon the soil,

and I close my eyes

everytime I break trail,

knowing

that this broken world,

will leave shards

in feet as I pass by,

and I will follow

her bloody tracks

into whatever waits

beyond the effects of sun.

Raven meet me at the midnight hour

under the old clock tower

where the dead forever rest

thats where I should like it best

wear your favorite red satin gown

Let your ebony hair cascade down

bring along black satin ties

you will be a sight for sore eyes

Your porcelain skin glows from the moonlit beams

as I watch you waiting there nervously for me

your luscious ebony locks dance on the wind

as you wring the black satin ties I begin to grin

Slowly from behind I make my way to you

this experience i feel is long past due

you've teased and tortured me long enough

I'm calling you out now on your bluff

I place my hands firmly on your hips

Making sure you wont escape my grip

as I kiss your necks supple skin

I feel your resolve begin to give in

I take the ties in my hand

tying yours behind your back as planned

whispering seductively in your ear

Tempting desires for you to hear

you fight me not on this devilish plan

feeling excited by this crazy man

I unzip your gown with one single tug

as I smile at you looking so smug

I push your dress to the ground below

your body now is mine to know

now in heels and stockings alone

it's time to hear your lustful moans

The blue gives into black.

The warmth gives way,

and the night takes over

the scorching hot day.

Soothing our aching bodies,

with the soft cool breeze.

Lulling our minds to

the sweet summers dreams.

Nails clawing at my skin

Teeth gnawing me from within

screams shrilling in my mind

the pain causing me to go blind

A raspy whisper tells me lies

making me wish that I could die

he wants me tortured this I know

for she has told me the devil has told her so

but why is it me he taunts

why is it me he wants

he could have any he desires

to pull down into hell's fires

but the flames become wild

when fed by God's child