Return.
I have a bit of darkness.
It lives inside of me.
It stays quiet around others,
So they do not see.
It rips me up and cuts me deep,
Late at night,
As I try to sleep.
I place my pillow over my head..
As I listen to my darkness,
Wish me dead.
I wish I knew,
what it wanted from me.
I do everything right,
But the dark is all I see.
Sometimes I wonder,
Why it likes me so much.
Why it strokes my face,
With its rough, jagged touch.
Sometimes the darkness is blinding,
And I must shelter my eyes.
It unzips my soul with its glare.
Another part of me dies.
It searches through my memories.
Deep inside my brain
It only likes to watch the ones,
With the most pain.
If I make it through another night,
That's a night I have won.
Until the lights go out again,
And the darkness has its fun.
The Cave
In a dream,
I wandered
to a maw of stone where my
light danced the rocks and my
feet carried deep into the
lonely dark.
Tunnels twisted in the
granite and I walked them
as a pilgrim
lost until I found the
centre of the veins and arteries
in a chamber where water
dripped from wet walls and
cried in the gravel.
A creature lay
shrivelled in the dark, its
form twisted and
bestial and it stared
into the light with eyes dead
and as white as the achromic
bones that shone through its
translucent skin.
A heart
thumped
in a bloodless chest.
A brain
throbbed
in a nerveless head.
The creature shook in the
cold and let out
a pained moan.
I asked of it:
‘will it always ache?’
It did not
hear.
It did not
speak.
It turned its sightless eyes from the light
and raised itself on wasted limbs to limp
deeper into that
lonely dark.
The Suicidal Sister
My suicidal sister,
Tried to die the other day,
By offing herself with pain pills,
As though its child's play,
It seems to be that death for her,
Was often on her lips,
She simply decided the time was right,
To cash in all her chips,
She tried to kill herself before,
A teen in love or so she said,
Then again while she was married,
With her children in her bed,
I try so hard to convey to her,
That she has much to live for,
But she only hangs her head in shame,
Then shows me to her front door,
The time may come one day soon,
When those dark demons return,
And I won't be there to see her through,
When she commits her soul to burn,
I pray that day will never come,
When she succeeds in her dark venture,
As I try so desperately to convince her,
That to live is the greater adventure.
My suicidal sister,
I love more than she can know,
She is the touchstone of my life,
Without her where will I go?
With my suicidal sister,
I will always share a connection,
As I try so hard with all my heart,
To offer her some protection.
(c). BAM
