If you voted for trump or see nothing wrong with his actions the past four years, please unfollow me. While I appreciate difference in opinion and hearty debate, as a bisexual Métis woman with a sibling who’s nonbinary, I have had many decisions made about my rights in rooms I have never stepped foot in. Fuck trump

{ancient muses whisper and flitter as honey pours and waterfalls giggle}

some of us never grow old, for crow's feet are unlike tree rings. the joy is voluntary, the memories like balm. you can never grow old is your spirit is young.

i mold visions of you in my mind and from my hands, your likeness shifting with every pinch and nick of clay. i think i know that it’s not you i want, but what you became under my vigilance.

smooth, unwounded. without baggage, unhuman.

“What if I forgave myself? I thought. What if I forgave myself even though I'd done something I shouldn't have? What if I was a liar and a cheat and there was no excuse for what I'd done other than because it was what I wanted and needed to do? What if I was sorry, but if I could go back in time I wouldn't do anything differently than I had done? What if I'd actually wanted to fuck every one of those men? What if heroin taught me something? What if yes was the right answer instead of no? What if what made me do all those things everyone thought I shouldn't have done was what also had got me here? What if I was never redeemed? What if I already was?”

Cheryl Strayed

I may have mentioned tonight

That I can’t imagine how I’ve managed

To write a single poem

Since you left

The last time I knew myself

Seems so long ago

I can almost smell your aftershave

And feel your fingers

Brushing against my chin

The past doesn’t define us,

Nor does the future,

And at present,

You’re always on my mind

My intimate peerage of some four hundred and fifty students has reached its terminus. It has technically been two months, yet the sun has made one-third of its elliptical orbit since our last day together. For thirteen years we were, and now all that is left to say is that we once were. As we sat in dark rooms behind chipped plastic desks, before we knew anything of the volatile horizon on the other side of our cinder-block nursery, my classmates voted that I, out of the many, was the most likely to take over the world.

I do not see myself a conqueror, as they are so often on the wrong side of history. Nor do I see myself shoulder-to-shoulder with the men who inhale privilege and exhale oppression... all the while playing blind, dumb, and deaf. This world we are in has planted these thoughts as my interpretation of what it means to take over.

I saw no use in watching my own virtual graduation. I sat down at my desk and found the link to a video of some commencement speeches. I chose not to click the little blue line. What could be there that isn’t already in my mind? Life is full of unexpected problems, and we shall persevere; we are coming into the adult world now, and it is not what we expected; it is time for our generation to yield its power onto the world, and it is up to us to determine how that will happen. No high school commencement is complete without a redundant trip to the dictionary, therefore, instead of watching my own graduation, I went to Merriam-Webster.

My superlative, with its domineering connotation, implied to me that my peers had a perception of me which I found uncomfortable. To take over, as an infinitive, has three general interpretations. My inherent idea of the meaning aligns with the third: “to take or make use of under a guise of authority but without actual right.” That is not the way I want to take over the world.

The second meaning, I found more comfortable: “to take to or upon oneself.” The exemplar use of the words put it into terms of assuming responsibility, which I can accept. If anything, as an educated adult, I do feel responsible for the world–at least my corner of it.

I relate the most to the first meaning of taking over, which was the last definition I would have thought of if not for looking at a list of definitions. This meaning is “to serve as a replacement usually for a time only.” In this case, I accept my title. In fact, it is the only title I feel worthy to accept. I do not want to be president...as that position decreases in value alongside the national debt, nor do I want to be remembered for possessing the best seventeen-year-old body, or any other thing in the back section of the yearbook for the class of 2020.

In this life, in this world, I am here to serve as a replacement for a time only. The truth is that we are all of us just temporal replacements, here for a brief minute, waiting for those who will replace us. If this is it, and it is my turn to take over the world, as many have tried and many more will attempt, I would like to let the world know that I only intend to serve you all for a time, and God willing, this blue marble will be made better by it.

Hot cup of tea, in tiny pale hands, illuminated by the dying fire casting shadows across the blankets strewn on the floor. Cold wind howling, drops of heavy rain against an aging tin roof, your hot skin pressed to mine, holding me as we marvel at the raw power of the universe.

That is how I want to be loved.

How I deserve to be loved.

Unconditionally.

Freely.

And without hesitation.

Yet I continue to look in all the wrong places.

Whoever you are.

Wherever you are.

When you find me,

Take me here,

And I will be yours.

I cannot always shield you or protect your life

I can only love you as long as I am able

I cannot run away for you when you are scared

Or stop the tears when they fall from your eyes

Courageously speaking, I am not a strong lion

Or a river that leads the waters to serendipity

In my tininess, I am not the ocean or a giant

If you'd like to know, I'm a lot like you

I cry when people make fun of me and I die inside

And sometimes I look in the mirror and hate what I see

I want to shout out on the mountaintop: "Hey, doesn't

anybody hear me?"

I wonder if I'm invisible and nobody can even see me

My Child,

you cannot always shield me or protect my life

You can only love me for as long as you are able

You cannot run away for me when I am scared

Or stop the tears when they fall from my eyes

Courageously speaking, you are a stronger lion than I am

And the river of your words leads my spirit to the waters

Neither one of us in invisible: We can clearly see each other

See me and know that I will never let you go

Depression is a war,

A fight against yourself.

Every word a punch.

Every thought a bullet.

Depression is a thief.

It steals everything from you.

The things left behind,

They trap you in.

Depression is a murder.

It kills who you used to be.

When you look in the mirror,

You won't see yourself.

Depression is a nightmare.

You go to sleep crying.

You wake up screaming,

Into a world of hell.

Depression is an ocean.

An ocean filled with emotions.

But every day,

Your drowning.

Depression is a bottomless pit.

When you fall into it,

You might never come out.

And no one can help.

Depression is a void.

You're sucked in.

But you don’t know,

If you'll make it out alive.

Depression is a war.

A fight against yourself.

You will struggle.

But you can make it out alive.