The truth comes out after a while

I promise to love you until I die.

A heart so divine,

I will forever hold on to this ride

The spilled ink coming out of these fragile hands

Are forever yours

Although these words are not mine

I promise you that this is true

I am forever yours

And you are forever mine

The beauty of this languid reverie

In which only you can see

You are my walking atlas.

Even when I am lost,

Just the sight of you,

I am home.

And I think that we are natural disasters

Natural disasters that are only remembered,

When the tragedy has passed after years of grief,

Destroyed homes in a brief

I think that is you and me

I am the natural disaster

And you are remembering me

Forever and always, are our memories

What do you do when the person you trust would be the one who brings you down?

What do you do when all the bad decisions you've made in life, did not turn out to be the last one?

I am tired.

I am.

The recession.

The withdrawal.

The hate.

The love.

The wrong decisions.

I am tired.

It seems like there's no other way out but death.

This is a cry for help, this is a cry for help.

I am tired.

I am human.

I make more mistakes than you do on a daily basis.

I regret my existence more than you do on a daily basis.

I am tired.

I am so tired of living in this world that has not done me any good.

I am so tired of living the life I wanted in order to destroy it on my own.

I am tired.

These spilled ink are a cry for help.

I am tired.

Help me.

I am tired.

I want to end my life.

I am tired.

Of all these bad decisions.

I am tired.

Help me.

I am tired.

These cigarettes can't burn my past.

I am tired.

Alcohol cannot drown my mistakes.

I am tired.

I no longer am happy.

I am sorry.

But I am tired of living.

You,

staring at the black walls around,

remembering that it was you who painted it

drowning in waters.

stuck under rain clouds and disasters.

let me tell you that I have once felt the same way you did.

Helpless.

Stuck.

Worthless.

incapable of being worthy,

lost in the light,

not knowing the meaning of being happy.

neglected by the ones I loved.

but let me tell you this, no matter how worst it gets,

no matter how much the world turns its back on you

you always have the choice of being happy,

and you can always go back to the way things were.

because sometimes in the darkest skies,

we see the brightest stars.

You don't deserve to live a solitary life,

you don't deserve to wait around and drown in the ocean you have created on your own

you don't deserve to succumb to the darkness that has made you suffer long enough

you don't deserve to hide around the words that people will never notice

you don't deserve to wear sadness on your skin.

You, you deserve to be happy.

You deserve all the beautiful things in the world,

you deserve to live life to the fullest

you deserve to not worry about the darkest days of your life

you deserve to be you,

you deserved to be loved.

and though I may be some random stranger that has yet to know who you are,

but I do know this, everyone deserves to live a happy life.

you deserve everything.

you deserve the love you are given,

you deserve the life you are given.

At the end of the day,

there's always a light at the end of the tunnel

sometimes we just have to wait to get through it.

Life

Doesn't always

Have to be colorful.

Sometimes

Monochrome

Can be alluring.

World

Stuck in monochrome

Shades of black and white.

Always

Have been that way

In exquisite colors.

Once a upon a time,

When everything was fine.

I was your princess and you were my prince

But I did not know what happened since

We were together throughout the season,

But suddenly you left without a reason

I waited for an eternity,

Just to show you my fidelity

You were refusing my company,

Poked a hole into my heart eternally

For once, I thought you were my knight in shining armor,

Then I realized you were nothing but a heart breaker

All feelings have left me,

It left me mere melancholy

As I fill the void,

The memories, I can't seem to avoid.

Pain and suffering are all now I have,

Traded for the things I did for love

It's not like in the movies

Where it always ends with a bliss

It's not like in fairy tales,

For sometimes love fails

Is love pathetic?

Does it always play this awful trick?

Until then, I will keep this broken heart

I'll keep this excruciating part,

To remind me that I was strong,

And loving you insideout was wrong

For nothing lasts forever,

To you, this broken piece, I ought to deliver.

Head seems to be blank

Filled with nothing but void

In deep void, I had sank

With those dismal thoughts, I wish to avoid

For I am lost

Not wanting to be found

Never thought of what wandering would cause

For my heart is longing to be astound

I don't beseech you to find me

Let me wander in this labyrinth

For there are many things I wish to see

More than just seeing this extirpating myth

I'm just here

Lost and contented from a far

Don't worry, for there's nothing that I fear

I'm fine with things just the way they are

I expect for recovery to come

My health is on a slope

I believe strongly in promise

Living on a hunch and a hope

I expect that a cure is coming

How much longer can I cope?

I look for endurance

Living on a hunch and a hope

I expect that restoration will happen

But I'm at the end of my rope

I trust that I'll become well

Living on a hunch and a hope

I expect that my body will heal

My body can no longer cope

I await the fulfillment of my dream

Living on a hunch and a hope

Leaves fell to the ground that day as I walked slowly among the stones. Picking my way carefully through the broken bits and trying not to trample the flowers. I could hear the crunch of the leaves, like crisp apples and gravel beneath my bare feet. The cold, wet, slick feeling gave me pause, but I continued on. I knew where I was headed. I think.

Slowly, out the creaking gate, I backed away, looking to the clouded moon for direction. Luna guide me and show me, I prayed deep in my mind. I walked on.

In time, which doesn't have a beginning or end, I reached the darkened windows. I peered inside, knowing they were there. The filthy, stagnant stench of piss warm drunken, laughing bodies wavered in my newly heightened senses. I stared. Fear gripped my, icy fingers clamped around my blackened heart. I walked up the splintered, steps, mindful of the squeaks and holes, listening. Shuddering walls and loud guffaws met my fear, bumping into it, like those cars at the carnival.

Slowly, I push open the unlocked door. I see them, but they haven't heard me enter. Three of them are shooting pool with only 8 balls. Black, shiny, catching my eye. I inch closer to the scrappy, scuffed table - noticing the red felt is the color of blood. Ironic. While they laugh and guzzle 80 proof, I stealthily snatch one of the balls. But he sees me. The big one in the green flannel. Not so scary to me now, I think in the recesses of my once alert and overactive mind.

"Hey," he calls out - "whatcha tink yer doing?" Slurring words and a weaving saunter strengthen my resolve. "Finders Keepers, losers weepers," is all I say. Now they've all gathered round. The crimson stained table stands between us, but I am not afraid. I've done my time, no more sorrow. I stand tall in my new black dress, knowing full well that the makeup artist had outdone himself. Confident, I smile, slowly.

The ginger looks over at me, and then I see the panic in his eyes - the cloudy blue of too much alcohol and stained puddles. "Um...um..."He can't speak, but I can hear his thoughts. So I answer, snapping my voice like a whipping chain..."that's right. It's me."

They're staring, rooted for now, like those elms out back where ... OK, let's forget that for right now. I need to stay composed. I don't have a lot of time - but I don't want them to know that. Suddenly, green flannel takes a step towards me, menacing with a pool cue.

"Stay there," I say, "there's a small bit of business we must discuss." Denim jacket answers, feeling better about himself, "you know darlin', I thought we finished this a long time ago." Green flannel whimpers. I stand my ground. "I know what you're thinking, but lying cheats get put in sockets."

"What does that mean?" asks Green Flannel? "foolish - to think you came back for more." An evil smile touched his lips, but mine was truer still. "Things have changed a bit boys. I see what's mine now, and I'm going to take it back."

A small scuffle happened then, and the lights went out. I remember the sounds, the screams. Blood curdling, sticky gurgles and fear. I could taste the fear in my mouth - and it felt delicious. "All plugged in boys? Let me flip the switch and turn off the lights. Nobody needs to see this anyway."

I know they wanted to run. But I took my time. Crunching bones and soul curdling yelps. The screaming stopped pretty quickly. Oh how the tables turned. I walked back into the wet night, Luna smiling sardonically as the pavement shone red. Red, I think it might be my new favorite color...like those leaves, falling, swirling. I am in the vortex. I let my mind wander while it can, as I pick my way back through the stones to my loamy home.  You see they never should have dressed me up - no, not to watch me die.

A jungle transplant

She wore wild on her skin

And she didn't know can't

Open sky and treetops

Were her antidepressants

She was one with the rapids

And one with the plants

She swung through the vines

With grace and elegance

An Amazonian angel

Who walked with elephants

Give me something to remember

Something worthwhile

Something I want to hold on to forever 

Something no one else will have

Something only we can give each other

Something we will always remember

Something we can share to the world

Something to love

Give me love to remember, forever and always.