forget me nots
I know it's silly
You probably don't remember me
Or at least that what's your trying to say
Your face seems confused yet shocked underneath
You've gotten better at acting
but you still wear it like a loose mask
that easily falls off with a simple tug
You say you don't know me
but I know you do
You,
who forced yourself to forget me
must have finally discovered
that people can never be intentionally forgotten
If anything,
that only makes you remember them more
Forgetting Someone - The Easy or Hard Way?
There are two ways to forget someone:
1) The Hard Way: don’t see, write or call them again.
2) The Easier Way: get to know them a bit better
© Wendy Cope.
You knew what you were doing, even by the third date. Your treatment of us shamed me, your lazy messages and bruising silence wiped out by your smile. Confident all would be well with an apology, you say sorry again. Is that fifty apologies now in three months? I could say ‘literally’.
I accept your words though, devising another unspoken excuse on your behalf, an implicit envoy unspoken but needed.
What makes you so brutal? Right now I think you are happy to live in the moment, trusting that my understanding and responsiveness will continue. You aren’t wrong. It does.
Maybe you will change in time, the worse you behave. A rock bottom must be reached.
After those three days isolating me after that night, I fell into drink and daytime sleep. You returned my calls and apologised. This time I mourned, but felt foolish to be mourning a carcass of love that was us.
Then we started again.
I woke up today and realised I wasn't mouring us, but instead lamenting a vision. But what a beautiful vision! We lived by the beach and bought that B&B you wanted. I spoke to you just now and felt for the first time how unlike my vision we ever were.
You are not even bad.
You are just you, and I’ve got to know you a bit better.
Not your eyes
Two souls deeply intertwined
His touch assured me
Overwhelmed with affection
Push away
Distance yourself
Leave
I need him
I’m scared to love
I don’t want anyone else
Through my eyes
I see a beautiful soul
Can’t be apart longer than 24 hours
Utterly fascinated by the other
He told me he loved me
I said it back
I’m scared to love
You can’t become attached
He will leave you
Push away
Distance yourself
Leave him
He is broken
Torn down
She won’t let me love her
Ignores my calls
He can’t see me again
It’s the only way he can move on
I regret it all
Causing pain was not my intention
I am scared to love
A year goes by
Been so long since I’ve heard your voice
I miss your smile
You’re on my mind everyday
I drink to numb the pain
Don’t want these boys attention
They aren’t you
Find myself in a new relationship
I don’t love him
I won’t look at him the way I looked at you
Not your eyes
Ghost
She clung to me, her scent in my sheets, her hair in my fingers, the sun ever burning my retinas how could I possibly forget that? When I close my eyes an afterimage of her still lingers. I push her away, out of my mind. Bury myself in work.
The feeling of her warm skin against mine, her solid body a smooth perfectly fitting puzzle piece against my own, a comfort. Again I push it away, the ghost sensation that still haunts me.
I find myself, thinking about our inside jokes, they whisper and tug at me, I walk through the isles of the grocery store thinking about what you liked to eat, the little jokes you'd make. I swat the thoughts away like flies.
You still murmur in the back of my head, I lack clarity because of it, I go on dates, the hazy, uninterested smiles of attractive men can't compare to the way you used to look at me, your moonbeam face still watches me from the booths behind their heads.
I'm with someone new now, Your name still lingers on my tongue when I say theirs aloud, but I can't hear your laugh when they begin to giggle, I begin to forget.
The Shattered Lens
Memories are like broken glass.
You look through them to see an image of what was, but the pieces are fractured, fragmented, and threatening to fall to pieces with the faintest gust of wind. In each little piece you see your reflection, each with a different angle and a different light. Through them all you see a complete picture, but through each jagged shard you see a scene, a snippet of events long past. Finite edges scraping against one another, bounding your frame of reference in a spiderweb of damages.
As time wears on, the chips and shards fall from the frame, each taking with it two more until all that's left are the pieces jutting out from the timeworn frame like bones from a compound wound. Signs that there was once a complete lens inside that has been torn apart by wind and water and time.
You can try to remove them, but with the slightest touch they will mar your skin and slice through the sinew and drip sticky red blood from the cut until each little mirror, each little window, is stained with your pain.
Best not to touch. Leave them alone, let time take its course, and let them fall from their frame and be forgotten upon the ground where you no longer see the world through their lens. Maybe they will be seen, but only if you go looking. Maybe they will be held, but not without a gasp of pain before they are once more relegated to the dirt.
I hate the way I love you
I see you in my thoughts, I see you in my dreams
I see you in my coffee mug, three sugars, two creams
I see you in my memories, I wish I didn't though,
The thought of your touch on my lips,
I wish to let it go
I can't erase your shape
deep inside my mind,
the sound of your simple voice
the deep but quiet kind
I hate my name on the tip of your tounge
I hate it in your brain
I hate the way I love you
even though you bring me pain
Forgetting...
I wanna forget you, erase you're name from the corners of my mind, but I can't you're in my memories, the things we were both fond of, the things we shared. You're on my Facebook, in old photos I rarely look at but I know are there, you're in my subconsciou, you existed and as long as someone existed you can never really forget.
