The stars are my only constant

Besides you

We lay here

In the dark

Quiet

Peaceful

I hear your heartbeat

Beneath my cheek

The steady rhythm

Reminding me that you are real

We are here

And I am happy

It smells like fresh earth

Our clothes damp where they meet the grass

Sprinkled with midnight dew

I don’t mind though

We have the stars

And feel of your favorite gray sweatshirt

My hand beneath yours

Mindlessly tracing your thumb across my skin

Neither one of us speaks

For we know

These moments

Are

Infinite

And

Fleeting

Laying on my back,

Looking up at the stars on a Saturday night.

Endless twinkling specks blanketing the sky,

Complex constellations lightyears away.

It's strange how we all live under the sky,

And yet don't take the time to truly appreciate its beauty.

We may not fully understand our galaxy,

But we can embrace what we know now.

I love stargazing.

It was always the stars that brought us together.

As kids, we would sit in my backyard and watch them glimmer for as long as possible until my mom would call us in for bed.

Growing older we would sneak out of our houses and meet up at the park in the middle of our places. At that point, we were just starting to realize what love was. I will never forget the first time you sneakily grabbed my hand to hold as we both blushed and looked away.

Going into high school we grew apart, made new friends, and you fell in love. I always waited, I knew we were soulmates... for the stars told me. When he broke your heart you called a meeting at the old park, my heart broke with yours as you cried. I pointed out constellations to calm your soul. I remained calm though because I knew in the end, we would be together, you know how I know? The stars told me...

Then it happened... laying in the itchy grass as I pointed out constellations you leaned over and kissed me. I had never experienced such bliss until that night. The stars shined brighter than any night before im sure of it.

I was given two years before you were taken away from me. Just when I had you in my arms.

Funny to think the thing that brought us together was the one thing that didn't help you when you needed it the most.

Looking at the stars now I feel nothing but hate. I should be here with you but now its only me, the dying grass, and the stars that once promised me a soulmate. My eyes blur with tears and I can no longer make out the constellations.

I can't do anything but tell myself you are now the brightest star out there, watching me as I lay in the disgusting grass and cry myself to sleep for the fifth night until my mom or your dad would come to get me.

You were my constellation, will it ever be the same?

-sorry, I've been gone for a minute, someone important to me passed away. This piece is dedicated to her. Stay safe everyone!

Flashes of light dance in my pupils as I try to find the constellations I remember. The humidity sticks to my skin and I hear my dog sniffing noisily at the grass. Two in the morning is the best time for him to frolic, and we've spent countless nights just like this, with him trying to catch fireflies, then remembering how awful they are and spitting them right back out, and me looking at the sky, trying to find something. I have always loved the sky since I always felt like an alien. No matter how good my camouflage is, people always seem to sniff out that I'm different, even when I didn't know it. Now I know it, and it makes me feel closer to the stars.

I look down for a brief moment to see my dog racing towards me with a stick in his jaws. He's smiling brightly, rewarding himself for a good nightly poo with a stick. I take it from him and throw it and watch him race back to find it. All the kings are looking down at me right now, according to the Lion King. I wonder if they look down at me like I look up at them. I wonder if their eyes fill with amazement and tears when they realize that they made me and everything I do and am. If high school was any indication, they don't.

I peer up again. The wind is picking up and the stars are beginning to be covered by the clouds of the storm that's coming tomorrow. I call my dog, who comes racing over with his recovered stick, and we head towards the door. I look up at the sky again, see the moon and all the stars twinkling behind a layer of grey and shake my head. I have to spend more time looking at my eyelids than stars one of these nights.

I look at the sky and wonder if you can see the same constellations that I can.

I wonder what the sky looks like over there.

Are the lights too bright?

I’ve never lived in a big city.

Only semi-urban, with smaller buildings, less lights.

Can you hear crickets outside?

Do you have the same kinds of insects over there?

I wonder what it’s like to live near the other ocean.

Do the beaches look different?

I don’t exactly love beaches, though.

Happens when you grow up around them.

I would ask about theme parks, but you have those too.

Maybe we could go together one day.

I want to watch the sun set with you.

And the stars come out.

That is, if you don’t mind me gushing about astrology for a bit.

Maybe you’ll be okay with that.

Maybe one day I’ll know what it’s like over there.

Maybe not tonight.

But we can still watch the stars.