Everyone one who knows me knows that I’m a big supporter of the LGBT+ community, but I didn’t always start out like that. As many would know I’ve been open about how I used to look down and think negatively on LGBT+ people. I used to be homophobic and ignorant in my youth. Why I was like that I’m afraid I don’t have a real answer. Maybe it had something to do with being part of a conservative Christian community and trying to fit in with their “norm”. I didn’t like myself. To this day I still feel guilty about what I’ve once thought and might have said. But as I loosened up later in life and started thinking for myself in college, I’ve become a very proud supporter for LGBT+ rights and the community as a whole. I’ve written posts and poetry expressing my support and have written characters with proper representation. Through my personal growth I’ve come to the conclusion that homophobia is definitely wrong. It can seriously mess up a person’s view of the world.

Religion has definitely voiced their opinions on same-sex relations and have made things extremely difficult for LGBT+ people, in particular the big three Abrahamic religions (Christianity, Judaism, Islam). But that’s not to say that all religions, or any one person associated with these religions, is against same-sex relations. Allow me to pick on Christianity for a bit because a) that’s kinda my thing as a lot of people already know and b) it’s the religion I’m more familiar with. Obviously some Christian groups and denominations have expressed their disgust with same-sex marriage and the LGBT+ community (i.e. the Westboro Baptist Church, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Evangelists). But there are plenty of Christian groups and denominations that are really supportive and don’t mind same-sex marriage (i.e. Universalists, Lutherans, Protestants). You also have some pretty awesome religious figures that a very supportive like Desmond Tutu and Pope Francis, and then you got the other folks who are just cunts like Kirk Cameron and Fred Phelps. Bottom line, obviously not every Christian is homophobic.

But tells talk about the word ‘homophobia’. What does it really mean? What does it even mean to be homophobic? Allow me to quote the Star Wars Prequels. “Fear is the path of the dark side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.”

Phobia means fear, obviously. And more obvious is that homophobia doesn’t translate to a fear of a person’s sexual orientation but let’s break this down, shall we? The fear actually stems from one of humanity’s most common fear: the fear of the unknown. A fear of something that is outside of one’s comfort zone, or the so called “norm”. Imagine growing up in an area where the population is predominately heterosexual. This would be considered normal to you. Then one day you come across a couple of the same sex and they’re doing what regular heterosexual couples do: hand holding, kissing, all that jazz. For the couple and others this is considered normal (because it is), but if you were someone that has not taken into account that their are same sex couples this is unknown territory for you. This leads to questions, disbelief, concerns, and general uncomfort because this is outside to what you would consider “normal”.

Then that fear transitions into anger. They get angry because they view it as a mockery of their faith. It goes against the so called “God’s plan”. They’ll argue that homosexuality is against nature, revealing they really have no idea what they’re talking about since many different species in the animal kingdom often have same-sex relations and pairings (dolphins, chimps, lions, vultures, etc). They start shout crap like “It’s Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve”. Personally I’m all for Lilith and Eve. Admit it, they make a much cuter couple.

Anger then transitions to hate. The sad truth is that human beings tend to hate anything that is different. For us, something different is usually viewed as the enemy. This is when things start to get very vocal. They’ll start rallies with picket signs with “God hates homos” smeared on them. They’ll start preaching Leviticus or some parts of the Bible that they haven’t throughly read, just to really show off their ignorance.

And finally we have the last stage: suffering. Suffering can lead to harming others either verbally or physically because of one’s disgust against another’s sexual orientation. Sadly throughout human history the LGBT+ community has endured a lot of suffering ranging from gay bashings to conversion therapy to concentration camps. 70 countries still criminalise against LGBT+ people. Some of them impose the death penalty on LGBT+ people. This is made to justify a society’s discrimination as well as their religious views. It’s humanity at its worst, and at its most terrifying.

But the funny fact is that a lot of those that are homophobic are secretly gay themselves. And the four stages also apply here as well. Think about it.

1) Fear - they fear coming out, they fear of being ostracized, and they fear that God will condemn them for not being straight.

2) Anger - they get angry that they’re not straight. That anger builds and builds the more they deny their feelings.

3) Hate - they start hating other gay people as if it were some how their fault and they hate themselves because they can’t change.

4) Suffering - I’ve always viewed the stage of suffering as a double-edge sword. It could imply the suffering of others or the suffering of oneself. They’re interally suffering and self-harming themselves because they cannot accept what they really are. More often than not this leads to depression and self-loathing.

You could probably say that I’m talking out of my ass, and maybe you’re right. But I feel that this may help explain some actions and the mindset of some homophobes, speaking as someone who regretfully was part of this mindset. However this should not excuse their behavior. Going through this challenge I’ve read in other posts that homophobes need therapy. The truth is it’s not going to rid themselves of that hate. This is something a person needs to figure out themselves. They need to look deep within themselves and ask what are they really doing/saying, and ask if another person is really meant to be riddiculed like this. They also need to ask themselves if their child was gay would they be saying such ugly words? They have to help themselves first if they’re ever going to stop the hate.

I believe the true answer to why homophobia exists is this: it’s easy to hate and harder to love. As I’ve stated earlier we as human beings tend to hate anything that is different. Being homophobic is wrong because hating someone for their orientation, someone you don’t really know, is wrong. It is wrong because it can hurt someone. Whether it’s violence or words someone is getting hurt from it. And the worst thing is that you don’t realize how much you’re hurting people until you witness or hear about it and truly see the damage you’ve caused.

And just to throw this out there, stating that you’re not homophobic but saying that you don’t approve it still makes you sound a little homophobic. It’s like saying you’re not racist but you don’t think you’d date a black person. At the very least I’m happy to know that you’re not condemning anyone for people gay and you are at least showing and treating LGBT+ people with same respect you want. Also saying “Love the sinner, hate the sin” is an awful thing to say too. You’re basically telling them to hate a part of themselves they cannot change. Again, you’re still hurting people and you don’t realize it.

Thankfully change has been happening. More and more people around the world are starting to become more accepting. As of right now there are 29 countries around the world that legalized same-sex marriage. In 2015, the United States declares that same-sex marriage is legal across the country. Back in May Costa Rica became the first country in Central America to recognize same-sex marriage and ended their ban. We’re starting to see better LGBT+ representation in shows such as The Loud House, Steven Universe, Craig of the Creek, and most recently The Owl House. I’m happy to say that things are looking better for the LGBT+ community, and it’s only going to get better here on out. It’s still a slow process but it’s still better progress than 100 years ago. As long as we stay united, as long as we stand against fear and hate, there is hope for the world. After all, I’m not only a big supporter of the LGBT+ community, I’m also a big supporter of hope.

Some sources:

https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2015/12/18/most-u-s-christian-groups-grow-more-accepting-of-homosexuality/

https://www.pewforum.org/fact-sheet/changing-attitudes-on-gay-marriage/

https://www.goodmorningamerica.com/culture/story/29-countries-sex-marriage-officially-legal-56041136

https://www.thedailybeast.com/the-weird-science-of-homophobes-who-turn-out-to-be-gay

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6UfGLPhi0K4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-gd3H789Zc

#LGBT #essay #loveislove

It’s often said that homophobia stems from one’s inability to accept their own sexuality, or the fear of having one’s own sexuality challenged.

It’s funny, really - we say sexuality isn’t a choice, yet these folks seem to fear theirs will be taken away somehow.

Growing up I had the honest-to-gods blessing of being raised in a loving atmosphere of tolerance. Had I actually been homosexual, I would have had no issues coming out to my family, friends, etc. Everyone around me supported me - even down to my grandparents, who wouldn’t agree with it but still made it clear would love me nonetheless. I know this because thanks to my quirky personality many of my family/friends thought I really was homosexual. To the point I would get annoying little hints like “You know it’s okay...” with the obvious subtext of “Why aren’t you coming out already? Don’t you trust me?”

Growing up I got teased and called homophobic nicknames in school, but it never escalated; I’m a pretty chill person and I had a strong circle of friends. I ignored it, which was easier because I knew it wasn’t true. It probably didn’t spread more since I never had an actual homosexual relationship either.

I rarely got hit on in high school, probably partly thanks to my perceived homosexuality as well as the stifling small town that snuffed out non-straight relationships, which meant I didn’t get hit on period. When I went to college I finally did get hit on - just by people of my own sex. It never bothered me; in fact, I found it flattering. They were often higher than my own so-called “hotness rating”, to the point that having to politely turn them down actually depressed me. I could clearly see I’d be way more of an MVP on the other team. I just couldn’t change my jersey.

I’ve even had a few random homosexual dreams, none of which phased me; they just weren’t as exciting as the straight ones. I actually understood them to express my frustration at having to take care of my own needs for so long stuck as a single, misunderstood straight person.

But all this is because I accepted my core. I knew either way I went it wouldn’t change my important relationships, or who I really was. I never felt threatened or scared by homosexual behavior or advances, because I knew if I did swing that way it wouldn’t matter. I had the safe space to question, consider, and understand my own heart.

And that is why homophobia is so hurtful and damaging. If others won’t accept us, how can we accept ourselves? If we put conditions on our love and tolerance for others - on their behavior, on their relationships, on their mannerisms - how can they navigate their own feelings with confidence?

Many of my LGBTQ+ community friends constantly point this out in their efforts to ensure legal protections as well as push for religious reforms in their own community churches. LGBTQ+ kids are at higher risk for suicide and depression. Maybe they’re not being literally lynched - but the fact that they’re killing themselves means homophobia is nonetheless lethal. They’re being ostraciszed by their so-called Christian neighbors. They’re being treated like they have a disease by fools who buy into “conversion therapy” and its ilk. They’re being penalized for “displaying” homosexual behavior, when the media splashes straight sexual behavior all over without a second thought and they can’t escape that constant reminder of how they’re not fitting the norm.

If homosexuality bothers you, look inward not outward - why does it bother you? If you know your own heart, your own tastes, your own core - why does someone else’s matter? I’ve been mistaken as a homosexual, hit on by homosexuals, seen homosexual porn, cried at homosexual love stories, smiled at homosexual PDA’s -- guess what? I’m still straight. Still not bothered.

Because it’s just love. And I have recognized love has no threat or impact on me - as opposed to fear, which definitely does.

And I may not play on that team - but fuck if I will not fight for their right to play.

Telling people with a neurotic condition that they are wrong is unfair. every mental illness deserves understanding and compassion. personally , i am phobic about cats, spiders, flying, blood , hospitals and math. by implication, my many phobias should be so wrong to get me lynched. all a phobia means is that I have an irrational , exxagarated reaction to the object. so are homophobes. they react clumsily, or stupidly, because there is an underlying fear, that drives them in such a way. the reasons for that may be repressed homosexuality, fear of ambiguity, a change from the classical ideals that they see themselves as part of, a need to live by social norms that lack freedom of choice, etc. whatever the reason, their reaction could be hurtful. THAT IS WRONG. reaching a point that you become physically or verbally abusive as a result of a phobia should be understood, but it should also be descouraged. after all, one of the main methods of treatment for phobic personality disorder is behavior modification therapy. it includes confronting those outward exhibitiont of the phobia. making a person aware that he is suffering from a treatable mental condition, should be done in a non- aggressive way. the person should not feel that he is persecuted. but he should be made aware that his behavior is not tolarated and damaging to other people.