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Challenge Ended
Rewrite
Rewrite one of my pieces, from the oldest or the newest, into your style, a new perspective, or add something to it. Include what you choose to rewrite in your submission.
Ended October 31, 2020 • 12 Entries • Created by SaffiyaSmith
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Challenge
Rewrite
Rewrite one of my pieces, from the oldest or the newest, into your style, a new perspective, or add something to it. Include what you choose to rewrite in your submission.
Profile avatar image for FiaA
FiaA
• 133 reads

Tastes like salted honey\\

When dust covers the sky

I cover your eyes

and you cloak me under your hoodie,

warm as hot latté and lovely as lavenders.

You feel drunk in love

and I am drunk in you;

Praising the stars, lying under the tree.

I'm a sun and you my garden

I live for you

And you giggle for me.

I thank the fate,

Because I know it exists,

like the shadow of one’s existence,

like the drone and its queen.

Inspired by

https://theprose.com/post/349486/soulmates

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Challenge
Rewrite
Rewrite one of my pieces, from the oldest or the newest, into your style, a new perspective, or add something to it. Include what you choose to rewrite in your submission.
arctic
• 142 reads

Broken (rewrite challenge)

I break and fight

I fight and break

no matter where I go

I am not whole

One day I will fight

Until I break

For nothing can fill

My empty soul.

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Challenge
Rewrite
Rewrite one of my pieces, from the oldest or the newest, into your style, a new perspective, or add something to it. Include what you choose to rewrite in your submission.
Cover image for post Music never dies, by TeaRise
Profile avatar image for TeaRise
TeaRise
• 64 reads

Music never dies

hearts do many wonders

they pump

mystic music

and allow others to

play our heartstrings

like a guitar.

hearts do many wonders

and mine

speaks

melodies

in my sleep

softly whispering words

to make my mind at ease.

hearts do many wonders

but you plucked my strings too hard

and you poured poison through my ear

so now all I hear are

melancholy mutterings

of “you're worthless”

drowing out

the sweet sounds

of my heart.

it whispers

“please

stop listening to those words inside your head.

i am not broken

for i still have sweet songs

begging to be heard.

please

let me do wonders.”

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Challenge
Rewrite
Rewrite one of my pieces, from the oldest or the newest, into your style, a new perspective, or add something to it. Include what you choose to rewrite in your submission.
Profile avatar image for GaryEnglish
GaryEnglish
• 65 reads

Heated Salt

I was your ocean, washing over your dried and bloody, salt-crusted body. Soothing your burning muscle and bone; seeping to your drowning depths to quench them with my flow and washing away the poisons. Sucking you from the tortured shell, red and blistering in the salt-baked desert, I carried you down, sinking into the earth. Its cooler layers eased your pain. Your eyes showed realisation. I am your salt. Your smile of acceptance completed me.

(Really enjoyed this and it was an interesting thing to do. I love your original, too, which I have added below for context x)

based on.....

Salted Heat

You were the ocean to me. You were blocked by forces we couldn’t ignore till you were released and poured over a cracked and deserted desert that held a single person lying on the ground, dried and bloody. Salt burned my muscle and bone chasing me to the depths of myself as I was drowned by your depths. My eyes closed and my lungs were filled with the poison you were made of. Sinking into the earth and taking me with you all that was left was a rain and torturted shell, red and blistering under the heat.

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Challenge
Rewrite
Rewrite one of my pieces, from the oldest or the newest, into your style, a new perspective, or add something to it. Include what you choose to rewrite in your submission.
Cover image for post HEURES, by Mnezz
Profile avatar image for Mnezz
Mnezz
• 47 reads

HEURES

All the seconds—

minutes, & then hours~

I spend with an energy..

to be on many battlegrounds

It can be used for somethin’-

much more powerful & lovin’,

maybe I will feel whole that way!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lSRMiC75Vws

#HEURES

20th Oct., 2020 Mardi.

Inspired by SaffiyaSmith’s following post:

‘’i break and fight

i fight and break

no matter where I go

I am not whole’’

#RewriteChallenge

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Challenge
Rewrite
Rewrite one of my pieces, from the oldest or the newest, into your style, a new perspective, or add something to it. Include what you choose to rewrite in your submission.
Profile avatar image for Broken_Toe
Broken_Toe
• 46 reads

Contest by “@SaffiyaSmith, An Untitled Work Rewrite” Opening words “those rolling hills…”

The rolling hills, — green and ever-growing underneath the summer sun, — are perfect: — the place I reside, — yet — can’t help watching the world pass by as the sun fades and darkness consumes my surroundings. I lie with desire of morning dew awakening my course, — to feel the soft damp blades of dawn wrinkle under my toes and a light breeze filtering through my locks, — freeing my soul to write. My world spills forth landscapes with beautiful evenings of fiery skies, — clouds eclipsing; yet magnifying the dieing light in glory, —— truly indefinable by words as visions cry hope. Yes, — my longing :— a stylist painting wonder and imagery that tears within hearts, drawing emotion from the shell of existence because life means more. —— But, — pain is the perfect cell in-which to hide. I lie in my bed staring at my black painted ceiling and wonder, — is it possible to shed the husk of my making, — turning dreams into reality? Or in our torrid times, — is the darkness that whispers hypnotically insurmountable?

Life moves forward and so, —— I will —— too choose more.

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Challenge
Rewrite
Rewrite one of my pieces, from the oldest or the newest, into your style, a new perspective, or add something to it. Include what you choose to rewrite in your submission.
Profile avatar image for ddullahan
ddullahan
• 30 reads

whatever you do,

whatever you do, don’t think that

these thrones are made of ash;

packed tight like sand castles and

barely strong enough to hold a man

let alone a kingdom.

whatever you do, don’t think that

they carry a stench like death,

or how their builder’s hands are stained red

and you can tell by the fingerprints they left

streaked along these polished marble floors.

whatever you do, don’t think of

pillars they made with the spines

of broken and beguiled lambs.

vertebrae stacked ceiling high despite

cracks that spider throughout the bone.

whatever you do, don’t sit in those thrones

don’t claim a power you can never own.

this palacial necropolis - gray and dark and

tasteless - we find a gravity well in ashen seats.

a quicksilver cushion built for nothing but greed.

[ajsdfhlkjsadha i forgot to put the reference post]

https://theprose.com/post/381625

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Challenge
Rewrite
Rewrite one of my pieces, from the oldest or the newest, into your style, a new perspective, or add something to it. Include what you choose to rewrite in your submission.
Profile avatar image for SaffiyaSmith
SaffiyaSmith
• 55 reads

This submission doesn't count.

Hi :) If you see this I'd love to see your take on the challenge. I don't normally do a post like this when I make a challenge but this one is special...sort of.

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Challenge
Rewrite
Rewrite one of my pieces, from the oldest or the newest, into your style, a new perspective, or add something to it. Include what you choose to rewrite in your submission.
Profile avatar image for Artsmartme
Artsmartme
• 23 reads

Sometimes

There are some days that I wake and breathe and the ground meets my feet. I can look at a day and smile from the shadows of the morning. There are some days that aren't as hard as I thought they should be. Or could be. Or would be.

Some days that I can't breathe. Can't focus. Can't see through the grey.

Mornings, and afternoons, and nights, when all I can do is think of the next day and how ugly my world will still be, as I stare at the cracks forming under my shaking hands.

There are mornings that are choked with guilt;

Afternoons that are drowned out by tears;

Nights that are mauled by muffled screams.

All I can manage is to wait for the next sunrise ...then sunset, wishing for everything else to disappear.

I watch the light fade.

I watch the world fade.

I watch time and myself fade.

Everything I am: a thread slipping through my fingers.

And I chase the tread and I watch it slip.

Original:

"sometimes it isn’t as hard as I thought it would be

sometimes I can lift my head in the morning

I can breath

I can smile

I can imagine the rest of the day being enjoyable

some afternoons all I want to do is cry

some afternoons all I can do is cry

I can’t breath

I can’t focus

I can see my hands tremble to reveal the internal cracks

some nights my throat is chalky with guilt

some nights I want to scream and kick

I can’t sleep

I can’t dream

I can only think of how bad it’s going to be tomorrow

some days....all I can do is wait till the sunsets

some days...all I want is for everything to disappear

I watch the sky

I watch my word

I forget time

I forget myself

because everything I am hangs on a thread slipping through my fingers

and all I do is spend my time chasing the thread

and watching it slip from my fingers"

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Challenge
Rewrite
Rewrite one of my pieces, from the oldest or the newest, into your style, a new perspective, or add something to it. Include what you choose to rewrite in your submission.
Profile avatar image for Sonntag
Sonntag
• 32 reads

The last trial

In my defense...

I wouldn’t have said a word ever

It would have followed my last breath

You did not dare speak a word

but offered a myriad of sentences.

How dare you talk of breathing when

you drowned my thoughts of any bit of reason

I may have had left.

In my defense...

You shouldn’t have spoken to me

You shouldn’t have even looked at me

Call me to the stand then.

Let me give my words to the court instead,

I do not want them lost

for they bore my mind and my soul.

Let them be witness to the honesty within them.

I dare not look at you again, but know,

If I´d go blind now I´d had seen everything I must.

In my defense...

We shouldn’t have ever met

We should have gone our separate ways after first impressions left indents on our thoughts

May the witnesses recall

all the gazes exchanged and all the memories shared

for they saw the light first and the darkness second.

Though we may have bruised our thoughts

and dented our hearts

I do not regret the scars we gave each other.

They may be all I will have left of you.

In your defense...

In my defense...

I can see why you didn’t leave

I would plead guilty to anything

if that meant that I could stay

just a little while longer.

(As an answer to @SaffiyaSmith ´s poem)

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