The moonlight lit the path, a girl walked along it. Her eyes were flooded with tears, causing her to walk slowly. She reached up and wiped the tears that spilled down her cheeks. The leaves crunched under her feet. Voices swarmed in her mind, causing her to get frustrated. “You’ll never be enough.” A tiny voice pipped up. “You’re not perfect; no one loves you.” Another hit her, the face of the person who said it burned in her memory. She fell to the dirt path, shaking her head and sobbing. “You will never be enough, you will never be enough..” The words echoed through her mind, piercing her heart and soul like an arrow. She pulled herself up and walked to the bridge that went over a river. She wiped tears and went to the rail.

The water swirled underneath the bridge, hitting against the rocks. One jump and a person would be gone for good. Her hands rested on the railing, she clenched it tightly. The words burned in her mind, she couldn’t push them away. The words grew louder and louder, pushing any thoughts she had moments ago, away. She looked to one end of the bridge, then the other. A shadowed figure made it’s way to her.

The girl’s eyes squinted into the darkness, her heart started pounding. The person moved closer. “Ignore the thoughts.” A male voice called. “Push away the pain.”

She sniffed and wiped a tear. “I-I can’t.”

The man stopped in front of her and pulled down a hood from his head, revealing a friendly, gentle face. “You can.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her slightly away from the railing. “Listen.”

The girl stood quietly, the water made a soft roaring noise. A few crickets chirped and the breeze blew softly through the darkness, rustling the trees. The words still pounded in her head. “They won’t go away.” Her voice whispered. “A voice keeps telling me I am not enough and never will be.” She hicupped a sob.

The man placed a hand against her cheek. “My dear girl, listen to me. You are enough. You always have been and you always will be.” His hand swept over the bridge. “Imagine how your family would feel if you jumped.”

Her heart slowed down, the words still swirled in her head, but less harsh. The man continued on, bringing her to sit down next to him on the bridge. “You, my dear, have changed so many people’s lives.” He gazed into her eyes in the dim lighting. His eyes held a familiar spark, they held love. “Just think, all those moments where your laugh and smile made others brighten up. Think of all the glorious times you’ve had with friends and family. Think of what would happen if you decided to give it all up, just because of one person’s words.” He paused letting his words sink in. “Everyone loves you. You are enough. We are not perfect, we never will be.” He slowly stood with her.

“If I’m enough, why-” She gulped. “Why are all these hurtful, painful things coming my way?” She asked.

He replied. “The hardest parts of life, will bring pain and sorrow. There are ups and downs. Life is an ongoing ride. All these pains and hurts you feel, are what are helping shape you. Everything happens for a reason.”

She nodded, the voices had now faded in her mind. The man released her hand. “Now, go home, Charlotte. Always remember, you are enough. Whatever happens, it happens for a reason; and the hardest parts of life are what will help shape you.” His whisper hung in the air before he disappeared into the night. “You are enough.”

Charlotte began her walk home. The stranger’s words gave her a sense of peace. She felt better. One thing that puzzled her most was how he knew her name. Charlotte knew she never mentioned it and she did not recognize the man.

His words rang in her memory. ”Everything happens for a reason.” She couldn’t help but wonder who that man was and how he knew her name.

she died

at age twenty

eight

during a pandemic

&

what kind of poem

would this be

if i even tried

to make

beautiful

what is

obscene

and

untimely?

If I was

bones

I would be enough

If I ate

less

I would be enough

If I walked

more

I would be enough

If I worked

harder

I would be enough

If I was

perfect

I would be enough

If I controlled

everything

I would be enough

if i ate enough

maybe i wouldn't

feel so

empty.

sure, they expect more from you

even as your heart beats from within your bones

so you raise your head, piece together a smile

enough of this pretending

voices drift in and out

taunting as they feed you

lives you've never lived

seen out of eyes you've

never seen, a twisted

reality you'll never know

that's not who you are

they want you to be more

like them

and less

like you

do you feed them back their lies

do you summon the monster within

do you break into pieces or do you break free

there's a million lives lived

why do you need mine to conform with the stories

ancient history isn't meant to be repeated

you are here, you are real

their stories can't change the truths in your own

you suck in a breath, sigh out a song

it doesn't matter what they want

it doesn't change the fact: you are enough

Memories haunt me at night,

spilling over into waking hours.

A glass too full,

yet so empty.

Curled up in the fetal position,

hoping to avoid your bullets.

Or maybe I'm Captain America,

hugging a grenade so that no one else has to suffer.

Whatever the case,

you keep coming back.

Over and over,

a phantom in my head.

"He's not real," they tell me,

"Just imagine he's not there."

But it's not that simple.

We're trapped in this dance.

You keep coming back.

And I keep staying silent,

unable to say

that enough is enough.

Step one change your style.

Step two change your hair.

Step three get that body so everyone will stare.

Step four do your makeup,

to perfection all the time.

Now all you need is impossible number 5.

Yet no matter how much you want to,

no matter how much you try.

You can always change your looks,

but you never seem to change you mind.

~ It’s not the mirrors fault all you do is cry

The blood drips down my back

And off my fingers

Slow and inky black

Like Thanatos' tears I

can see them in the back of your eye,

You've had much worse and so have I.

Just reach out for my hand

And I can take you

to the promised land

Just do what I say, then

you will be my prodigal son.

Just tighten your grip

on the gun.

I

Can see that you're hurting,

You've gotta be tough

but I

have to leave now 'cause,

they're callin' my bluff

I

just want you to know I

just want you to know that you'll

never

be

enough

The beautiful blonde walked out the door ignoring all the eyes on her, it was a feeling she knew well

She knew they were watching her body move as she walked, she hated this feeling of being watched

All the watchers were unaware that she had no confidence within, & all she really cared about was the one set of eyes watching her

She could feel the eyes watching her & felt a little more special, skimming up & down her, appreciating her movement even though she tried to hide her figure

She knew it wasn’t just because of her beauty or swagger, it what was inside her that was loved the most

The scars, bruises & marks she knew all to well, the ones that always reminded her, how love can be deceptive

She knew these wounds no matter how deep, were loved no matter how much she despises them, they were apart of her, they made her who she is

Remember she says to herself, that I am loved, not just loved who I could be, for how I look, loved for being just me

An unconditional love she reminded herself, the kind you only dreamt of

I am the one written about, she said in her head, I am the one she chooses to love, she chooses to let into her soul.

That is enough, enough for me to know & feel deep within that I am enough.