My mind boils

in fleeting horizons.

I plunge deeply

into blue veins

of infinite ocean

but cannot glimpse

the ending.

Decisions float

before my eyes,

swirls of possibilities

but no answers.

Stillness of my air

surges and begs

for resolutions.

Deception layers

my skin as confusion

sways in winds

of turbulent fate.

Squalls knock

me into

the vast unknown

leaving me

pondering,

“What is it

that I want?”

I’ve always been told that I need to listen to my gut. As if my gut is some kind of wise master with vast amounts of secret knowledge that even I am not privy to.

I am very, very suspicious of my gut. Because isn’t my gut just the subconscious spouting haphazardly constructed algorithms from an accumulation of past experiences? What if my experiences are wrong? Memories can be surprisingly unreliable. Just think of all the wrongfully identified criminals. Or that experiment where 25% of people remembered a childhood memory of being lost in a mall they’ve never been to. Yeah, not exactly a stellar resume, gut.

So instead, I like to waste an inordinate amount of time deconstructing every situation and analyzing every option until I am so mind-numbingly exhausted that I just pick the option that my gut was telling me to choose in the first place.

I will say, for the most part, Ms. Gut does end up making pretty decent decisions. So maybe I should give her some credit. I still don’t trust her 100% though.

Side note: How I titled this post reminds me of that Ariana Grande song “Positions” and I cannot unthink it. Also, “gut” no longer feels like a real word.

Well we all go through decisions, both big and small. The outcome of some decisions may impact the society. In that case we should really think about the pros and cons of the result of that decision. If the result only affects us, then we should think how it impacts us. Taking decisions are not at all easy and no one can take the right decisions all the time. So it is only justified that we should take the decisions according to our conscience. It is actually okay to make wrong decisions as we are only human and we are not perfect. But what we should do before taking decisions is that we should make sure that our decisions would not harm anyone.

One decision can change a life,

But what to decide?

Which one benefits me the most?

Which one benefits those around me?

More decisions to make,

More questions than answers.

Can someone decide for me?

No, I'm old enough to decide for myself...

But I can't decide.

Prepare one chit per option.

Throw the chits in the air above a table.

The one that lands on the table is the decision.

P.S.If more than one lands on the table, keep repeating the process till you are down to one.

After going through the options and IDing the healthiest choices, the ones that are best in the long-run, the ones that are better for my well-being as a whole, the ones that are most practical and realistic, there's a variety of ways I make my decisions.

If it's about an opportunity, I'm going with the chance that's more rare and lucky.

If it's about an emotion, I think about what I would have done 3 years ago, and if I was 3 years older, what would I do?

If it's really a dilemma, I think about (or actually do end up) telling my friends about it and see what they would advise me to do. What decision seems more on-brand for me? And do I want to go with the choice that seems predictable for me?

Other times, if it's something not so materialistic, I think about people I admire and aspire to be like. I put five, ten, fifty of them on a panel and think about what they would do. If I'm a consolidation of the people I care about and admire most, if they were my democracy, what would their verdict be?

Other times, I'll sleep on it. I sleep on it and procrastinate on it for a while. When I get closer to having to make a decision, the one my panic picks is the one I really wanted to go with.

Which option makes me the most angry and emotional?

Which one would I want a book/movie character to pick?

Which one would I want to choose if there were no negative consequences?

And most importantly, which one sounds like a great idea?

I start with my options:

good vs evil

toast vs cereal

The options are there

I walk away for a second to gather my thoughts

I return and they remain

Well, what are the implications of my decisions?

If I eat toast will I be hungry in an hour?

and if I choose evil can I handle that power?

How can I decide between reality and fantasy

The world in my head and the one that's right in front of me

I see my thoughts and I am lost

In the web that I have spun

Because between you and me,

I have no idea what I want to be

I eat cereal today, and tomorrow I've thrown my life away

Toast vs evil

good vs cereal

Where, why, what, when, and WHO am I?

--> February 2020 ~ Some ideas from a paper I was writing last year while in grad school studying Leadership and Decision-Making.

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How much does a leader need to know before making a decision? This is the key consideration of Paul J. Quirk’s Presidential Competence, and it speaks to the fundamental role of knowledge when a decision needs to be made. Indeed, a decision cannot be made without at least some knowledge.

The nature and level of information required to make a decision differs depending on which approach a leader uses to gather knowledge. For example, Lindblom describes the extent to which leaders rely on knowledge by comparing the Rational-Comprehensive (Root) and Successive Limited Comparison (Branch) methods. The Root approach allows leaders to analyze factors surrounding a decision comprehensively because “theory is often heavily relied upon” (Lindblom 81). Its foundations in established knowledge makes the Root very valuable to the decision-maker, but Etzioni argues it's a bit “incrementalist," a method maddeningly limiting because it assumes that “values and facts, means and ends, can be clearly distinguished” (Etzioni 386).

Because the existing bed of knowledge is diluted with the values and objectives that may not align with the current times, it’s questionable to make decisions based solely on precedent. While driving incremental change may make “the most of available knowledge” (386), it may ultimately drive decision-makers off-course in reaching long-term goals. This explains why consensus plays such a vital role in shaping leaders’ decisions. It is easier to find agreement between two bodies when addressing a small change that is familiar (for example, voting on adjustments to an annual budget) than to get bipartisan backing for a completely new idea. It could be said that leaders who use related precedent (existing knowledge) to make incremental decisions "get a lot done," or at least they can check plenty of boxes when it comes time for an election. But the impact of these checkbox, incremental decisions can only be measured over time. If leaders too often make decisions based entirely off past decisions, “decisions so reached would...reflect the interests of the most powerful,” (Lindblom 86).

So knowledge is the principle guiding force to almost any level of decision-making, but an individual leader’s approach to applying their knowledge can vary widely. Lindblom notes early in “The Science of Muddling Through” that even if leaders had “an agreed set of values, objectives, and constraints” as well as “an agreed ranking of [them], their marginal values in actual choice situations would be impossible to formulate,” (82). I may be oversimplifying, but I think this is saying that the minutia involved in actual decision-making requires more context and circumstances than perhaps these approaches allow.

According to Etzioni, the test of a "good theory" is decision-makers agreement on the theory itself (387). While incremental changes are more easily accomplished due to the nature of consensus, without also making fundamental changes, “incremental decision-making amounts to... action without direction,” (388).

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I like to go with my gut ~

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/ n o t a r e

Amitai Etzioni. “Mixed Scanning: A ‘Third’ Approach to Decision-Making.” Public Administration Review (December 1967) pp. 385-392.

Charles E. Lindblom. “The Science of ‘Muddling Through’.” Public Administration Review, Vol. 19. No. 2 (Spring 1959) pp. 79-88.

Paul J. Quirk. “Presidential Competence.” The Presidency and the Political System, 10th Edition (2014) pp. 134-166.

Ever get stuck when a situation calls for you to make choices? I know I sure do! Since a young age I have always had such anxiety when making decisions. I remember when I was a child having to pick between two cereals and I would finally just say iny meny miny mo. As I got older I would let other's make the decision for me (I DO NOT RECOMMEND). That ended me up in jail (another story). After that it was a little easier to make decisions. When presented with a choice I simply cannot seem to make- I write down the pros and cons of each choice. I try and look at it from multiple points of view, asking who it will effect, and what could be the possible outcomes. Using this tool made it easier for me to narrow down which choice to pick. It is important for you to learn how to make decision. Feel free to ask for people's opinions- getting imput from others may actually help you see if in a different perspective. All in all, whatever you decide is YOUR decision. You can do it!