Caution!

Cage contains a Bad Proser!

This creature joined the site to write

(so he may never get around to reading yours).

The beast only “likes” what he likes,

only comments when there is really something there

(but if something clicks he may stalk your entire back catalog,

in search of more treasures),

reposts once in a blue freakin’ moon,

never creates a challenge (doesn’t know why not),

loathes anguish and self-pity posts, yet…

despite all this he is mostly harmless, if a little loud,

so just ignore.

(If you are so kind hearted that you still feel compelled to feed him,

he enjoys peach cobbler, black coffee, and a happy puppy tale.)

having friends over?

want to show off?

are they into collecting dust bunnies as you are?

who isn't...

but dust bunnies tend to get bruised and deformed when you pick them up from under the bed.

any novice can see a poorly arranged and kept collection of dust bunnies.

tweezers?!?!

are you crazy?

a vacuum?!

and fray the fallout texture?

well, here at the EZ dustbunny collectors' hub, we get all the stuff you need.

order now and get this once in a lifetime collector's kit.

the kit includes our handsome teak display case with room glass panes and trays for 82 small to medium sized dustbunnies or as much as 32 large specimens.

amaze your guests as you show them your collection in this high quality, humidity-controlled cabinet, with internal lighting and brass note holders, to give specimens that personal touch.

but wait! there's more!

order now and you will recieve our space age aerogel collecrion instrument. only our collection instruments can gurentee high quality preservation of both TEXTURE and COMPOSITION of the gathered specimen and the gentle mounting of it upon the display trays with the collector's council-approved adhesive.

order now while still in stock!!

WHEN AT YOUR WORST. YOU’ll WANT WORSE NEARER TO YOU.

Slinger of a curse or two. I cuss, smoke, drink, sometimes even stink. You see?

I’m a lot more like you than you think. Agree? That your in no condition to drive? Call an Uber One Star. You’ll save face when we arrive. And though unforced. All focus on my disgrace. While I ferry you from place to place.

Tipping early and often is recommended if I’m to keep up any pace. After witnessing all of my infractions yours won’t even leave a trace.

For the sum of a few dollars more. I’ll probably get in someone’s face. And publicly insult their race. Offer to jump on proverbial grenades. A ready wingman only if such is the case.

The friends a heavyweight.

We all know the importance of saving not just for a rainy day but for the future.

You need someone that you can trust with your hard earned cash.

Ok...that's not us. We're still trying to figure it out. Until we do please know that we will happily line our pockets with your cash and spend it wisely. We appreciate your hard work, thanks to you we don't have to. For every referral we will be giving at no extra cost to you a collector's item bumper sticker "Someone Madhof with My Money". So please, tell your momma, the mailman and your grandma!