Loneliness, a mysterious companion, walks beside me, its shadow stretching across my emotions. It's a paradox, suffocating yet oddly comforting. It whispers like a haunting melody, weaving tales of isolation, leaving an ache within.

In its presence, the world feels distant, veiled by mist, and the weight of emptiness is overwhelming. Loneliness is an echo that reverberates through the heart, a yearning for connection.

But amid the darkness, it teaches. It compels introspection, forcing me to confront myself. It is a crucible of self-discovery, where solitude fosters growth, unlocking hidden strengths.

Physically alone, emotionally entangled, loneliness is transformative. It's a dance with solitude, a struggle for equilibrium. In these moments, I learn self-compassion, a balm for wounds.

Loneliness weaves its narrative uniquely. It is both burden and gift, an invitation to embrace the human experience in all its shades. Within this vast emotion lies the promise of connection, like stars shining in the darkest night.

“Look!” my breath catches in awe

Face skyward

Diamonds on velvet

As one races away

“… yeah, cool.” is your reply

Not even bothering

To glance up

From your phone

real true honest consuming loneliness

is like a migraine that comes and goes

in the absence of it i forget it entirely

i can't remember how cold it feels

to be surrounded completely by warmth

i feel temperate and protected and alive

until it eases back in like a warning

the first symptom of sickness, a sore throat

a cough, a runny nose, shortness of breath

it lies with me in bed while i tell it to go

to leave me alone, that i'm done with it

but it stays because it's afraid i'm lonely

my solitude hates to leave my alone

and brings it's party of other companions

i knew they were coming and said please no

but here they are, more reliable than i am

it starts with the loneliness, a sore throat

it brings the cold and morbidity of winter

a real true honest consuming loneliness

is sometimes all you can count on

She listens to music

Plugged into her headphones

As if they're life support

She holds back

All the good

Cause she's scared

Of her bad side

Dead hours in the dark

And she's awake again

Tearing her own heart to shreds

She holds back

No one should hear

She doesn't know why

She can't reach out.

She wants to be held

She forgot what it felt like

Now being touched burns

She holds back

Because she's so close

To Falling in on herself

She doesn't want collateral

She rocks herself

Hums a lullaby

With hollow eyes, empty smiles

Tomorrow morning

she'll pick herself up again

Loneliness for me, is this painful feeling, like I'm being squeezed from the inside and my throat is closing up. It's this feeling that no one will ever love me or care for me as much as I love and care for them. My efforts will never be reciprocated in the same manner from the people I thought were my brothers and sisters. It's the feeling that I will be left alone in the end and nobody will even bat an eye if something were to happen to me. For me, loneliness is akin to being physically left alone because I fear that it is exactly what will happen as I age and grow. In fact, it is happening right now, as we speak. The people I have grown up with no longer require my presence or even crave it. For them, I am like a burden, a duty that they must fulfill, with their customary hellos and how are yous. But as of late, we barely speak to one another. It's as if our relationship was one-sided all along. Once I stopped approaching them, our bond ceased to exist. It was then I knew where I stood in their lives. I sometimes ponder whether I ever mattered to them at all. I feel stupid now, looking back at all the times I acted silly in front of them, if only to make them laugh. However, now that I know my place, I have distanced myself. Now I watch them from behind a screen, posting pictures with the people who really matter to them, while I start to feel a certain loathing for them as I gaze at their smiling faces. Nothing will ever be the same now.

"There's nothing more."

She dug, ignoring his declaration.

Her tools were kindness and submission, brow sweat was the work of loins and tears of joyful pain.

"There must be something buried deeper," her statement hung between them like a question, suspended by threads of hope.

He smiled, looking away.

She found bedrock.

Grunting, she chiseled, looking for something beautiful buried in stone.

Sparks flew and faded. Weary, she looked up at him from the hole so like a grave.

Shallow, but deeper than she knew, it was a wound that would never heal.

"Cover us up," he said, moving on.

Comfortable. Crushing. Enveloping. Loneliness is the first discomfort you feel, the first warning sign in your life that you might be in danger. Mother returns and all is well. She leaves and it slides back around your neck, resting heavily on your shoulders.

After some years, it feels like it has always been there. And in a way, it has. It never quite left. In the absence of others, it wraps itself around you more and echos your thoughts back to you. You’ll never be alone as long as you have yourself. The inverse gradually becomes true, as well: you’ll only feel like yourself as long as you’re alone.

Friends and lovers come and go, leaving behind scars and closing the gate to the world just a bit more on their way out. Each person lost makes it easier to breathe in loneliness’ embrace. Being alone feels more natural when you lean into it. Eventually, it’s all you feel.

You’ll encounter people who love the burden wrapped around your shoulders and encourage it to sink its roots into you. Their presence hurts in a familiar way. You will hold onto that comfortable feeling, that lifelong friend that is loneliness, and never want to let go.

Letting go means being truly alone. It means losing the one constant that has followed you throughout your life and delving into an uncertain world with more promise than you ever imagined. This is your new discomfort, but once you get past it, the world is finally yours to explore and love deeply. You need to break your comfortable ties with loneliness and keep moving forward through the tension to find your peace — one that will never weigh heavily on your shoulders.

It is an ache that comes from deep inside. I have to focus on breathing as a cloud of sadness, longing and regret overwhelms me. Sometimes I find a place to cry where no one can see or hear me because crying does help. Deep breathing can help. I don't want to talk about it or try to explain it or have someone ask me what do I have to be depressed about.

“You have taken my companions and loved ones from me; the darkness is my closest friend.”

Not exactly the kind of sentiment you’d expect to find in the bible. Especially not in a book accustomed to exultations, praises and altogether positive vibes. Psalm 88:18 doesn’t come across as hyperbole to us even if its metaphor of loneliness lives long in the memory.

Loneliness is a feeling we are all too familiar with. It punctures our heart before yanking it out, and tossing it, like any normal Mortal Kombat character would. Far from being the gift that keeps on giving, it is the penalty that keeps on penalizing. Not content with deflating us, it disembowels us to a hollowed-out version of ourselves.

Loneliness may not be as excruciating as physical pain, but it is every bit enfeebling. It sucker punches the life of us, knocking us off our cocksure stride. Not only do we slump to the canvas, we prostrate on it. The sinking feeling that it is, roots us to the spot.

Loneliness is defiance that second-guesses itself. Loneliness is the activist too shy to explode in protest. Caught between a lofty expectation of friendship and a sobering reality of isolation, our muddled-up minds are barely able to conjure up a coherent explanation. How can they? They are stunned into silence.

Most of all, loneliness makes us dejected. Loneliness is a serial killer that drowns our enthusiasm, suffocates our joy, decapitates our attempts to make meaningful connections. Oh loneliness, you are the death of us.