Numb
Every song I sang
Every string I strum
All the poems I've wrote
And all the pain that've flown
I thought I've gone up
Cause I've been down for so long
I thought I've all grown up
Cause I've been a child for so long
But look at me now
I'm holding an ink & a pen
With my headphones on
I sing I'm lost again
I'm listening again to Ivan B
More music fills my ear
As his rap pierce my skin
More music fills my ear
Of different people,
Different stories,
All of their worries and anxiety
Again today I am anxious
I'm getting more depressed
All those videos in YouTube,
There all but a repetition of what I've read
And I think I've gone numb
I think I've gone dumb
For with my heartless heart
I still think at dusk
And I haven't grabbed my pen
Like the way that I used to
I haven't wrote any poem
In the style that I used to
I'm not depressed anymore
Yet I ain't as motivated as before
I think my author life is ending,
But you know what they say
Every Ending comes a Beginning
But for now I am numb
I got no pain
I got no humm
I got no happiness
I'm just dumb
Dumb & dumber writing
My paper's still blank
And all my feelings still aren't over
And my poems never rhyme
Like the way that they used to
Sadness
It seems to go on forever
like the shore upon a beach,
Dreams are so vivid
and yet so hard to reach,
and though I have the whole universe
laid out before me,
I can't help but feel
that it has ignored me.
And I feel lonely.
And this fate I've accepted,
I have conceded.
I've lived my whole life
yearning to feel needed,
but it's a deep pit of despair
that can't be defeated.
Depression
Depression is the worst feeling you could feel and you cannot stop it. People say you must get over it and grow from it but you can only go numb to it. It will never leave you, you will always be stuck with that feeling in your stomach or that thought in the back of your head. Depression makes you hate who you are, it makes you feel unnormal. At times you might feel like you are literally going insane and each outburst gets worse. But slowly you grow farther and farther from who you once were. The pain grows more and you no longer feel human. You feel like you are your own being and will never fit in with anyone else. All you want is to feel normal but it will never happen. You will only continue to hate yourself more. The people who once loved you will start to hate you and grow farther apart from you because of how much you will change.
Many people turn to drugs or alcohol to try to numb this horrible feeling; this only makes it worse for yourself. You turn into a addict on your first try. That first “high” and your hooked. This is the best you have ever felt in your life. You want to feel this way all the time. So you continue to use and you start to rely on it to feel happy or to feel normal. You are slowly killing yourself; the drugs or alcohol are only making it worse for you. When you finally realize this you are already hooked and you hate yourself even more for letting it get this far. So you just resorte back to it. The cycle will never end. You are never going to be happy again.