My therapist told me that a great way to get rid of my anger is to write letters to people I hate and then burn them. I did that and now I don’t know what to do with all these letters.

You can’t face your problems if your problem is your face.

With great power comes a great electricity bill.

"Before you judge someone, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares! He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!"

You really got to hand it to short people, because usually we can’t reach it anyway.

Sometimes when I close my eyes I can’t see.

(Ramble ramble ramble.... dahdah dee dahdah dum, trying to reach the fifteen word minimum...)

" All my life I thought air was free until I brought a bag of chips"

“Be careful if you wear a Sgian-dubh, or dirk dressed as a Scotsman, you could get “kilt” or poke out an “aye!””